Title: What We Risk Author: Lydia Bower Classification: V Rating: G Spoilers: US5 Emily Distribution: Anywhere, as long as my name is not removed and the piece is archived in its entirety. Summary: Post-Emily vignette. Saying any more will give it away. Author's notes: If the idea that Mulder and Scully love each other--no matter in what form--bothers you, you probably shouldn't read this. This is for Skipper, who encouraged me to take the risk. Disclaimer: Not mine. Never will be. Mulder and Scully belong to David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson. Anybody wanna argue that? What We Risk by Lydia Bower The red-eye flight from San Diego to DC was almost entirely empty. Aside from the two of them, only a dozen other people were aboard the plane. And they were scattered widely enough that Mulder could convince himself he and Scully were truly alone. He shook his head at the flight attendant's silent offer of more coffee and watched as she disappeared behind the curtain separating them from the first-class section. Scully sat beside him, eyes closed, her head lightly resting on his shoulder. Though she appeared to be sleeping, Mulder knew better. It was nothing more than a way for her to escape into her thoughts. Mulder waited with patient attentiveness. He heard a small sigh escape Scully and turned his head to glance down at her. Hands that were clasped tightly in her lap slowly unfolded. One came to rest on her thigh, palm up, and Mulder's right hand slid across it, his fingers tangling with hers. If he hadn't been listening, her whispered words might have been drowned out by the dull roar of the jet engines. "I'm sorry I didn't call you sooner." He squeezed her fingers lightly. "But you did call. That's all that matters." "And you came." Another sigh left her. "Even though you didn't agree with what I was doing." "It's not my place to tell you what to do, Scully. And it wasn't my decision to make." She lifted her head from his shoulder and looked up at him. "What wasn't?" "Any of it," he told her. There was a long silence before he spoke again. "I shouldn't have withheld information from you. And I certainly didn't have the right to question what you were doing. But I hope you understand why I did." "To protect me." He couldn't meet the intensity of her gaze and escaped it by turning his attention to the window. He studied the cold dark night. "I think I do understand now, Mulder. Why you did what you did." He turned back to her. Scully's eyes were downcast. She opened her mouth to speak but then hesitated. He gave her his silence, afraid to speak. Afraid to break the fragile peace surrounding them. "We all want to...to protect the ones we love." He glanced away, his throat tight. "Yeah." Long minutes ticked by without words to mark their passage. Mulder's heart ached with words unspoken, with grief still fresh and sharp. He mourned for what Scully had lost and for miracles never meant to be. For what could have been and should have been. For a rightful legacy that had been stolen from her. Hope was hard to find when surrounded by the darkness of age-old evils. Scully shifted beside him and he watched as her fingers lifted to caress the cross that once more rested just below the hollow of her throat. "What I said in the church," Scully began, "about Emily finding me?" He nodded. "You said it happened so that I could save her." "I think so," he confirmed. "I believe it's more than that, Mulder." She glanced up at him. "I believe she found me so she could save me, too." "What do you mean?" Scully's eyes shone with unshed tears, but she didn't look away. "I've always been afraid...to love too much. Because when you love someone, you risk the pain that comes if you should lose them. And I was never willing to take that risk." "And now?" Scully took a deep breath as a tear slipped down her face. "Now I understand that the real pain lies not in taking the risk of loving someone, but in denying myself the opportunity to love and be loved in return." Mulder unthinkingly brushed away the tear that clung to her face. "But you already knew that, didn't you?" Scully added. "It's not something you can tell someone, Scully," he assured her. "It's something you have to discover on your own." She nodded, a sad smile lifting the corners of her mouth. "Anyone else would have given up on me by now--but not you." "No, not me. And not your mother or your brother, either. Or anyone else who...." "Who loves me?" She finished. Mulder smiled. "Yeah." "I wasn't sure, you know. When I opened Emily's casket and found her gone, found nothing left but my cross, I believed in that moment that I would always end up alone." "What changed your mind?" She untangled her fingers from his and brushed them across his cheek. "You did. When you took the cross from me and put it back around my neck, I knew I didn't have to be alone anymore. I realized that just as I'd made the choice to be alone, I could make the choice not to be." He put his arm around her shoulder and drew her close. "I've always been here, Scully, and I always will be." She turned her face into his chest. "I know that, and I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out." "Shhhh," he whispered against her hair. "Don't apologize, Scully. We all come to things in our own time. I'm just thankful I can be here for you." Her reply was no more than a sleepy murmur. "Me, too." Mulder chuckled low in his throat and wrapped both arms around her small frame, tucking her tighter against him. He pressed a kiss on her brow. "Sleep now, Scully. I'm right here." She settled against him and Mulder breathed a contented sigh. His head tipped back against the seat as his eyes slipped shut. The minutes slipped by unnoticed. Mulder was floating in that shimmery place between wakefulness and sleep when Scully's voice reached him. "I'm not afraid, Mulder, not anymore." He smiled and answered, "I'm glad." And then they slept, safe in the sheltering arms of love. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ THE END