Title: Mulder's Inferno Author: Vickie Moseley (vmoseley@fgi.net) Summary: More fill in the blank for Signs and Wonders. Mulder's POV Spoilers: Signs and Wonders explicit and implied Rating: PG Category: V A MT Archive: yes to MTA, Xemplary, Ephemeral, and Gossamer. All others, please let me know where you put it. Disclaimer: Watched it again and STILL liked it. The snake shots were cool! But you left out such good stuff, Chris. I knew you did that so we would all be inspired to write the gapping holes. You are such a sweetie! I promise not to take any money for this or infringe on your copyright. Note: Yes, the title is a reference to Dante. Don't know what I'm talking about? Go look it up and read it! Comments: I couldn't leave it alone. Sorry. Thanks to Susan, with the patience of a saint. I will get back to editing, I promise! And to Michelle, Donna and Sally, you guys are great! And Ten, he isn't wearing any pants through this whole story :) Mulder's Inferno By Vickie Moseley vmoseley@fgi.net Blessing Community Church As the last snake trails away . . . I'm burning. Burning in hell. I can feel the fires moving up the tendons of my arms, my legs. Searing the muscles of my neck, my face. My hands are consumed. I'm dead and I'll be in this agony for eternity. A touch so cold that it's painful forces me to open my eyes. If I'm dead, why is Scully staring down at me? Do the dead, the condemned, have to view the lives they left behind? Is that just another level of the anguish I've been sentenced to endure? I want to close my eyes, I can't look at her now. But she's talking, and her voice is the only balm my burning body can find. "Mulder, the ambulance is on the way." I don't need an ambulance now, Scully, I want to tell her. I need a plenary indulgence. I need someone to pray me out of hell. The only person who would even think to do that is you. She's pulling at my shirt, and I'm amazed it isn't falling away in ash and charred fabric. How can it be white and whole when I'm burning? I realize then, that's how it's done. That's how you can endure an eternity of fire and damnation. You don't burn from the outside in, you burn from the inside out. It's all so simple now. But God, the pain is incredible! I want to be senseless, I would welcome any and all drugs Scully might deem to let them shove in my veins. Demoral, morphine, torodol, codeine bring on the ampoules, the bottles, the bags. Hang them from the ceiling fan and just let them drip in my open mouth. Or better yet, use any of the countless holes in my skin and pour the stuff in my veins by means of a garden hose. Just make this burning pain go away, please! But that's not the point. The point is punishment. Forever and ever to be consumed by the fires of hell. I'm beyond salvation. I've sinned so greatly that I can't be redeemed. I'm beyond all hope. 'Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.' I see now how that makes sense. Hope just adds to the pain. Because the pain never ends. The pain always returns. Is pride the worst of the seven deadly sins? I wish I'd paid more attention to that movie 'Seven', but I kept getting distracted by Brad Pitt's wife. At least I'm not being punished for gluttony. I still can't look a plate of spaghetti in the eye. Pride. I was proud. I was sure. I didn't follow my heart, I let my head do all the talking. That was my sin. I didn't see the signs, didn't feel the wonder. When I was walking through the little church in the backwoods, I couldn't help but feel the peace. It didn't feel evil. I wasn't afraid to be there. Not even after we came up close and personal with the legless watchdogs. It didn't trigger my profiling senses. And neither did Enoch, until he tried to harm Scully. "It could have been mighty good news," he told me. We could have found out that Scully is righteous, in the most fundamentalist form of the word. But in that, too, I was proud. Proud of Scully. I didn't need a test from God to tell me that Scully is righteous. I know that already. So I dismissed the lesson, didn't hear what was being said to me. It was a warning. A warning that I needed to be righteous, too. I didn't hear that. Seems I keep missing those little warnings. Not that it's going to matter any more. Maybe the only perk to hell is that there are no new opportunities to miss. Just the old ones that play in an endless loop in your mind. There is noise and confusion around me, Scully is talking to someone and I feel more cold, painful hands on me. They are trying to be gentle, but any movement, any light caress is agony. That much more so when I'm being tugged and lifted, things are strapped on my face, jabbing into the skin at the backs of my hands. If they cut into my skin will the hellfire in my muscles erupt out in tongues of flames? Stand back, Scully! I don't want you to get burned! "He's trying to talk. He said 'stand back' or something like it." "He's delirious. Base says we can start him on morphine. The woman's a doctor, she's riding with us." And now cold is here, dancing with the fire in my veins. A torrent of cold at first, then just a rush, finally a trickle as it reaches the nerve endings, fights for control over the fire. Smothers it. Smothers me. Gives me peace. I dream I'm in a field. The sun is out, it's warm, but not burning. If I look down, I can see two ruts in the grass, two paths. They diverge a few feet from me. I know I must choose, but I have nothing to guide me. There are no markers, no signs for directions. So, I sit, rather than go down the wrong path. I grow tired and lie back, letting the sun kiss my face, close my eyes. I sleep, hoping in sleep I can find my way. I awake, on some level, to find the snakes are back and the field is on fire. The flames inch closer and closer and surround me. The snakes curl around my feet, holding me in place. They strike out with fangs as hot as the surface of the sun. Beyond the snakes, the fire is closing in. I can feel my face redden in the heat. I try to bring my arms up to cover my face, but they're already on fire, and too leaden to move. I look down and see a giant snake has coiled around my body, holding my arms at my sides. I can feel the sweat pouring from my body, but it's never going to be enough to extinguish the fire. The snakes bite and bite and I'm lost, because I didn't choose. "Mulder, the nurse is coming with another dose of morphine. I know it hurts, just try to stay calm. Thrashing only makes it worse." She's holding my hands down, leaning against me. Pushing me into the flames all around. The snakes aren't biting her. Careful, Scully, careful of the snakes. But I forgot, she's righteous. The snakes won't bite her. She's on God's side. God, Scully - why? Why are you doing this to me? Why won't you help me, why are you torturing me? Does God ask the righteous to torture the condemned? So much for the fairy tale of a loving and forgiving God! Suddenly it begins to rain. It starts in my veins and then falls from the skies. The sun is hidden behind the clouds and the breeze comes up and wipes the tears from my cheeks. Cool. So cool. The snakes loosen their grip around me. I sleep once more. When I find myself in the field again, I know I can't lie down. That's how the snakes get to me. I have to keep moving, have to run. I look around for the two paths, only to find they've multiplied. Now there are paths in every compass point and then some in-between. I search around the horizon, trying to find something to give me direction. I need a signpost. I need a guide. Scully. I need Scully! But I don't see her. I can feel her nearby, I can smell her perfume, even over the taste of iron and brimstone in the back of my throat. But I can't see her. Scully! "I'm here, Mulder. I'm right here. I'm holding your hand." I look down and see my hand, but not hers. Yet, her skin is cool against mine. It's holding my hand so gently, as if my skin will crumble with too much pressure. She is so gentle with me I weep. "Mulder, don't cry. It's all right. The serum is doing its job. You just need to sleep." No, I don't want to sleep! That means lying down, that means leaving myself defenseless for the snakes to find again. No sleep! "Shh, Mulder, shh. There are no more snakes. There is nothing here to hurt you. I'm not leaving your side, OK? I won't let any snakes get to you." I want to believe her promise, but she was there last time, helping the snakes hold me in place so that fire could come and eat me. No, that can't be right. Scully has never hurt me, she'd never help anyone hurt me. I must be remembering that wrong. But I still know I can't sleep. I have to find the right path. On the right path, I'll get out of the field and away from the snakes and the fire. I start to move down one of the paths, Scully's invisible hand still gently clutching mine. I feel safer with her presence, even if it's ethereal. She's one of the righteous. She doesn't have to walk through the fields of hell. Yet she reached down from heaven to take my hand. I want to cry again, but I don't. I just walk and let her hand in mine comfort me. We approach a small wooded area, Scully's spirit and me. I see the trees, they are all bare even though the field looked like it was springtime. Maybe it's early spring. Maybe forests in hell never have leaves. I decide the path I'm on is as good as any of the others and I enter the woods. Immediately, I know something is wrong. I can't feel Scully's hand in mine. I try to reach for it, but it's not there. I find that I've continued to walk, run, actually, in an effort to find Scully. Now I'm in the middle of the woods and the trees are surrounding me. Their branches start to wave in the breeze. They aren't branches. They're snakes! Hundreds, thousands of them! Hanging from the barren trees, slithering around dried and dead limbs. A half dozen of them slide down and encircle me. I'm frozen in my spot, I can't move! All I can do is watch as the snakes coil around me, then start to squeeze. I can't breathe! The snakes are crushing me! One of them covers my mouth and I try to scream. More clutch at my arms, pulling them away from my body. I feel them bite into me, and all air has left my lungs. Off in the distance, I hear Scully. She's shouting to someone, other voices answer her. I can't breathe and her hand is gone and I took the wrong path. I'm going to die . . . But I can't. I'm already dead, aren't I? Air rushes into my lungs, pushing against the muscles to inflate them. I drink in the air, it's so sweet, so cool. I've never felt anything like it. I can hear Scully's voice again, calmer now. She's still talking to other voices but I don't really have the strength to make out what they're saying. I just want to stand here and breathe for a while. The snakes are gone, back to hiding in the tree branches. I make no mistake this time and hurry out of the forest. Only to find myself back in the same field. I'm lost. I sob with the hopelessness of my plight. Scully can't come to me, she doesn't belong here. And if I stay, the snakes and the fire and the trees will get me. There is nothing left for me to do. I hear her voice. Scully is speaking. I can just barely make out the words, her voice is so far away. I close my eyes and concentrate on the sound of her voice as it's carried by the wind to my ears. Suddenly, I know which path to take. I see it more clearly than any of the other ruts through the field. It's right ahead of me. As I walk down it, Scully's voice is getting stronger and stronger. Hell wasn't keeping me, I was holding myself back. I was hopeless, not looking where I needed to look. All I needed to do was wait and listen to what Scully would tell me. She was right there, all the time. Leading me out of hell's gates. The field melts away. In it's place, the sounds of the hospital surround me. I realize it's dark because my eyes are closed. The fire is still there, smoldering in my muscles, but it's muted, less than it was. I can live through it. Maybe a little more drugs would be nice. But finally I drag my eyes open and see for myself. Sure enough, Scully is there, sitting next to my bed. I want to talk to her, but there's a mask over my face. She must have sensed what I was thinking, because she looks up to my eyes. Scully smiles. I try to smile back. I've been redeemed. The end For another great story about Mulder walking through hell, go read CindyET's 'The Devil's Roar'. I highly recommend it. Vickie "Duct Tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together." From a tee shirt at the Mall