Title: Made Perfect Author: mimic117 Email: mimic117@yahoo.com Rating: PG-13 for potty mouth, but that's it. Uh oh, I just heard a bunch of smutsters keel over. I have fallen from grace. Category: S, A, V Spoilers: This is based off Scully's "oh brother" at the end of Triangle, so anything up to that point is fair game. Plus, being the weirdo I am, I needed to rewrite my recent story, False Assumptions, in my usual style. You don't have to read that one first by any means, but if you do, you'll make me smile. Summary: Scully's rejection really rankled, and Mulder plans to tell her so. But he wants to get it right the first time. Archive: Oh yeah, baby! But I've already sent it to Gossamer and Ephemeral, so I can devote all my attention to you. Disclaimer: You know, I'm getting very tired of trying to find witty ways to disavow something we all know already. If I owned them would I even be sitting here writing this? NO! I'd be off somewhere out of this stinkin' snow, and Mulder wouldn't be missing. He'd be with me! So I must not own them, must I? Author's Notes: Okay, this is the boring stuff, so you can skip to the story if you want. This little piece of verbal abuse was the direct result of Kathy's challenge which became False Assumptions. That was her vision - this is mine. I would have written it this way in the first place, but she would have cyber- scratched me, and I do so hate itchy scabs. Thanks: to my almost-twin and Queen of the Beta-Bitches, Cindy, for giving this the once over. We're a couple of lean, mean writing machines, Twinsy. Your turn next. Feedback: Only if you can do so without contributing to global warming. We must all be environmentally conscious these days. Otherwise, bring it on! "Even if you're on the road, you'll still get run over if you just sit there." Will Rogers ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Made Perfect by mimic117 *pound pound pound* "Scully, we need to talk." *slam* "I know it's late, but this has been bugging me for days and I need to get it out in the open. Can we sit down? No, don't say a thing yet. Let's just sit so I can get this over with." *creak* "Damn it, Scully, you really hurt me. Don't - not a word. Who the hell do you think you are? I open my heart and say something I've been wanting to tell you for a long time, and the first thing that comes to your mind is 'oh brother'?! How drugged did you think I was? Did it ever once occur to you that I had just barely escaped dying out there and, just maybe, I felt a need to finally tell you how I feel? I know it's been almost a week, Scully, but it's been gnawing at me until I can't think of anything else. The more I think about it, the madder it makes me. How could you reject me so out-of-hand, so thoughtlessly; as if my feelings were nothing? I never imagined you would treat me so cruelly. Guess I was mistaken, huh?" *creak* *pace pace pace pace pace* "I know you have things to say, Scully, but you're damned well going to listen to me first. You owe me that much. Shit, you owe me more, but we won't go into that. Right now, I just need to get this off my chest. I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, but I'm tired of tiptoeing around your fucking feelings. If you want to kick me out when I'm done, fine. If you want to request reassignment after I've had my say, I can't stop you. But for once, just let me have my say without trying to find a goddamned scientific reason to refute my every word, okay?" *creak* ~sigh~ "Dana Scully, you are everything to me. You know I trust you, and only you. But this goes beyond trust. It isn't about partnership, or friendship, or watching each others' backs. I watched Krycek's back, and I didn't even like him very much. I never thought of him as my partner, or my friend. He was just someone who was there because you weren't. When Duane Barry took you, I couldn't think of anything but finding you. By then, I already knew I needed you in my life. I just didn't understand why, or how much. But the Bureau seemed to think I could just go on investigating fucking X-files when my partner was missing! I don't know how I managed to avoid punching someone out. They expected me to do their shitty little assignments and leave the search up to them; but they weren't really looking! How the hell was I supposed to be a good little G-man when the only person I trusted was gone and they didn't even -" *kick clunk* "Ow! Sorry, Scully. Sorry. Didn't mean to kick the coffee table and knock over your cup. Guess thinking about it still makes me mad. No, you stay there. I'll clean it up." *creak* *wipe wipe* "Anyway, I think I started to have these feelings for you that long ago. I never said anything because I didn't know how you felt, and I was afraid it would ruin our working relationship if I told you. I figured as long as you were with me at work, it would be enough. But after a few years, it wasn't. And this ache started building in my gut. It took a long time to develop, like the dripping water in a cave that creates a stalagmite, but it grew, until it seemed as if everything I did centered around you. What you wanted to eat. Where you wanted to go. How you were feeling could dictate my actions for days. There wasn't a moment of any given day that I didn't think, 'I wonder what Scully would say about that?' or even 'What's Scully doing right now?' I started wanting to share everything with you, but you always seemed happy to get away from me. I began throwing out suggestive comments, innuendos, camouflaged proposals. You brushed off every one, but I figured that was okay. I'd wait, and someday you'd understand what I was afraid to say. Only you never did. And now I'm afraid I may have waited too long." *creak* ~chuckle~sigh~ "Did you know I had a dream about you after you came into my office that first day? Yeah, it's true. And I didn't trust you as far as I could throw a Buick. But there was a subconscious connection, even then. And it wasn't the kind of dream your cocked eyebrow thinks it was, either. It was sweet, and tender, and gentle. I remember waking up and being terribly disappointed it was just a dream. I wanted so much for it to be real; to have someone who would love me unconditionally, just the way I am. And there I was, fantasizing about someone whom I barely knew, and who was most likely sent to spy on me. I've grown to love so many things about you, Scully, and I was hoping you felt the same way about me. But after your reaction at the hospital, I can't tell. I want so much for both of us, but I know I won't find any of it without you. Maybe you could leave and build a life in another place, with some other man. Everything *I* need is right in this room. I want to wake up holding you in my arms. When you're sad, I want to make you laugh until your tears evaporate. I want to kiss you so hard we can't help breathing the same air. I want to hear you cry out my name when I make love to you. I need to know that you'll still be here, no matter what I do, or how angry I make you. I want... I need... ummm..." *slap* "Shit! Good going, Muldork. Now we have to start all over again. Damn it! Okay, okay. It's not a tragedy. You're getting better. You can do this. Deep breaths... don't get tense. Maybe you should put a shirt on, first. Talking to yourself is one thing - doing it while you're half naked is even too kinky for you. Okay, that helps. Let's try again. But not so much of the whiny crap this time. We'll get it perfect. You'll see." ~inhale... exhale~ *pound pound pound* "Scully, we need to talk." *slam* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The End Mulder: "It only hurts when I laugh, Agent Doggett." Doggett: "I don't see you laughing." Mulder: "I'm saving it up. I plan to laugh my ass off when I wave goodbye to the Aliens." from Sieg und Verlust by Jake The list of crimes against fanfic is growing. You can find all of my stories at Gossamer or Ephemeral, if you're in a masochist mood. En Veritae Wishing I Could Touch You Wishing You Had Stayed Wishing I Could See You (LTFSA Reader's Choice Award for Best Smut Fic, Dec/Jan 2001) Wishing You Would Dare Twisted Reach Out and Touch Someone False Assumptions mimic117@yahoo.com