TITLE: Before I've Lived

AUTHOR: Kimberly Thomas

FEEDBACK: kthomas@amalthea.net

ARCHIVE: Sure, but it would be nice if you told me where so I can 

come visit.

SPOILERS: Leonard Betts

RATING: PG

CLASSIFICATION: Vignette/Angst

KEYWORDS: Post-episode

SUMMARY: Scully's thoughts about what Leonard Betts said to her.

DISCLAIMER: Mulder, Scully, and The X-Files belong to Ten 

Thirteen and 20th Century Fox.  No copyright infringement is 

intended.

WRITTEN: September 14, 2000



NOTES: All of my X-Files fanfic can be found at my website: 

http://www.amalthea.net/x-files.  I've recently posted fanfic 

under my old address (kthomas@davidbowie.com), but I've decided 

to cancel that ISP.  







2:08 a.m.



Scully awakened, coughs racking her body.  It had been only 

roughly an hour since she'd finally managed to nod off.  When she 

awoke, her mind immediately drifted back to the words that had 

kept her awake for hours longer than usual.



"I'm sorry...but you've got something I need."  



The words of Leonard Betts.



Pulling herself up, Scully reached for her lamp, clicking it on.  

That was when she saw it: just two small drops of the darkest 

crimson, standing out in a stark contrast against the ivory of 

her pillowcase.  Tentatively, she reached down and touched the 

larger of the two drops.  She stared in shock and disbelief at 

the crimson that covered her fingertip.  It was definitely blood.  

Her blood.  Realization dawning, she raised her fingers to touch 

the area under her nose, where there was a trickle...she looked 

at her fingers again.  Blood...there was a trickle of blood 

running from her nose.



She had cancer.



At that moment, she knew that she had cancer.  *Knew* it, without 

having any medical tests done.



She, a scientist, was putting so much credence into the words of 

one man.



Actually, she herself had told Mulder, "What you're describing is 

someone so radically evolved that you wouldn't even call him 

human."



Whatever he was, he had had an uncanny ability to diagnose 

cancer.  She knew, no one could possibly diagnose disease without 

any tests, any proof...not with one hundred percent accuracy.  

But he did.  He had needed it for his own survival.



She had had something he needed.



She had cancer.



Tears welled up in Scully's eyes; Betts's words were no longer in 

her mind.  She was now fixated on a different thought.  



"I don't want to die before I've lived."





**End**