DISCLAIMERS: Not mine, I'm broke, don't bother suing. SPOILERS: Triangle. Also spoilers for the movie. KEYWORDS: M/S UST CATEGORY: V/R/H/A A little bit of everything. SUMMARY: All it takes are 3 little words... Many thanks to Christina and Katilina. Other author's notes at the end of story. AND I FORGOT (TO TELL YOU I LOVE YOU) by: Jennifer Maurer I have to get to sleep. I have to be a well-rested, obedient, productive FBI agent tomorrow, or Kersh will have my head. Not an unreasonable demand, considering the time I spent *not* doing my work today. It all makes perfect sense, in a ludicrous sort of way. Knowing Mulder as I do, I should have guessed that it was only a matter of time before he got himself lost in the Bermuda Triangle. I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner, actually. <...I love you.> There were few moments there when I didn't think he would make it. He inhaled a dangerous amount of water. He was very lucky. He'll pull through fine. The delirium will fade, I'm sure. Hopefully soon. <..I love you.> "All right, damn it!" I shout to myself, leaping out of bed and starting to pace. "You love me. This is either a very touching declaration, or Frohike's right: you *are* on some good drugs." I am not talking to Mulder, of course. Mulder is still in the hospital. I left not long after Skinner and the Lone Gunmen, and went home. It was a long day chasing Mulder, and I know I'm going to have a busy day ahead of me tomorrow. Not the least of which is explaining to Kersh where the hell I ran off to. Or why I wanted information on classified navy intelligence. And why I was answering the phone in the X-Files office. Oh, yeah...and Spender. I almost forgot. I have to kill the little weasel. So my schedule for tomorrow is pretty full. I need some sleep. Which I'm not getting, because I'm obsessing about that parting statement from Mulder. I rolled my eyes and wrote it off to delirium and walked away. I turned back at the door for one last look and saw him drifting off, a goofy smile on his face. I had to smile a little myself at that look. Okay, so I won't kick his butt. Yet. Mulder's been through a terrible ordeal and I should give him plenty of time to rest and recover before I kick his butt. Skinner's going to have to get in line behind me, though. So I left, after thanking the Lone Gunmen and Skinner for their assistance (and how I managed to look Skinner in the face, I'll never know), and drove home with the best intentions of going straight to bed. I didn't give Mulder's words another thought. Until I tried to go to sleep. Now here I am, wide awake at 2:30 in the morning, wondering just what the hell he meant by that, if indeed he meant anything at all. He couldn't have. He probably won't even remember saying it in the morning. I won't even bring it up. It would embarrass him, I'm sure. And yet...he looked so sincere when he said it. He could have meant it. He recognized me, he seemed aware of his surroundings. I saw the ship, too. Yeah, right. I probably could dismiss his declaration of love more easily were it not for one, small incident. /You keep me honest.../ And then the almost-kiss, as I secretly call it. Not that I have ever talked about it with Mulder. My subsequent infection and abduction became the issues. Even after we got home safely, the subject was never brought up. I never even *considered* mentioning it to him. Until now. Given the chance to live those few moments over, without the damn bee in my collar, what would he have done? Would he have kissed me? And if he would have, why? Pity? Desperation? Or, dare I ponder it...something more? Doesn't it? Only one person can really answer that question for me. And he's in a hospital bed, probably dreaming very happy dreams from all the medication. Not to mention the fact that it's now 3 in the morning, and an interrupted night's sleep is an important part of the recovery process. Tough. If I can't sleep, he's not going to, either. Not until I get some answers from him. Lucid ones. Or as lucid as he can be at this point, anyway. Which had better be pretty damn lucid. I'm dressed and out the door before I can stop and think about what I'm doing. Because I know if I stop and think, I'm going to convince myself that this is a ridiculous errand, and I shouldn't bother poor Mulder, and it would behoove me to just climb back into my warm bed and will myself to sleep. Except I know that's not going to happen and I *really* want to find out what the hell he meant when he said...that. The nurses know me well by now, and aren't surprised by my nocturnal visits to Mulder anymore. I pause at the nurses' station to say hello, and my eye catches sight of Mulder's chart. "May I?" I ask, even as I'm reaching for it. They know I'm a doctor, and they let me see the chart. Hmmmm. Something for the pain. Narcotic. Could that explain it? No sedatives. No brain damage. Really, nothing to cause his mind to become unhinged, as it so obviously has. I flip the chart closed and walk into Mulder's room. Showdown time. He's fast asleep, looking like a perfect angel, the faintest trace of a smile on his face. He always looks like that when he's asleep. It just when he's conscious and speaking that we run into trouble. I walk over to his bed, hoping that my mere presence will be enough to wake him up. Then he'll see me, and either explain himself or his actions will assure me that he has no memory of it whatsoever. It doesn't happen like that, of course. He stirs. I tense up, ready to duck under the bed if it seems necessary. He lets out a damp snore and shifts position slightly, but does not wake up. Damn him. He hardly ever sleeps. I know this about him. He's usually up at all kinds of ungodly hours, often on the phone with me. After he's roused *me* from a deep slumber, of course. Which is why I don't feel too bad about what I do next. "Mulder!" I hiss. That does the trick. He doesn't snap from sleep into full battle mode, as he usually would; he's still slowed down a bit by the drugs, I can tell right away. But his eyes are open, and he's looking at me. "How are you feeling?" I ask sweetly, patting his head. He mumbles something unintelligent in reply. "I was worried about you," I continue, "So I came back to see how you were doing." "S'nice..." he murmurs. "You feeling a little better than when I last saw you?" I ask. "Hmmm...yeah, I guess," he responds, waking up a little more. He shifts around to get comfortable and then frowns at me. "What time is it? Is it tomorrow already?" "No, not exactly. It's late." "What are you doing here?" I look away from him, down at my hands clasping the bedrail. What, indeed? Good question, Mulder. Did I really come all the way down here in the middle of the night to ask my delirious partner if he meant it when he said he loved me? No, Dana Scully would never do something so...so...ridiculous. No way. So I'm just going to express some more concern, and then be on my way. "Mulder, I was wondering..." "Mmm?" I tell myself. But common sense has fled and the rest comes out in a rush. "Did you really mean it when you told me that you loved me?" Silence. I glare fiercely down at my white-knuckled hands, waiting for his answer. And then he does answer me. With a gentle snore. I look up at him and he's fallen back to sleep, that same dreamy smile on his face. I'm furious and relieved all at once. I didn't really want to know, I assure myself. He was on some serious drugs and didn't know what the hell he was saying anyway. Oh, who the hell am I trying to fool. I was *dying* to know, but it doesn't look like I'm going to find out anytime soon. "Dr. Scully? Is everything okay?" I turn to the nurse who has poked her head in the door. "He's fine. I'm just going to sit with him, if you don't mind. I'm not very sleepy tonight." She nods and leaves. I drag a chair up next to Mulder's bed, but before I sit down in it, I lean down close to him. "I love you, too," I whisper. End. ******* SMALL ASIDE: I got into an interesting discussion with Katilina about this story, concerning where the final scene of the episode took place. She had assumed Mulder was in a hospital in Florida, while I assumed he was back in DC, since I couldn't imagine Skinner flying all the way down to Florida just to bring him flowers after telling Scully he was allowed no contact with them. I don't suppose it really matters (at least, I hope it doesn't) but for my purposes, Mulder is back in DC. So? Shippy enough? I just loved the last scene of "Triangle," I thought it was adorable. I'm a sap, what can I say? Feedback cherished: jenbird@earthlink.net.