TITLE: SLAYING THE MONSTER AUTHOR: DONNILEE E-MAIL: Donnilee@snet.net WEBSITE: http://donnilee.tripod.com RATING: NC-17 CATEGORY: MSR CLASSIFICATION: SPOILERS: Grotesque SUMMARY: Scully uses a new weapon to bring Mulder out of the slump following the Patterson case. DISCLAIMER: All characters used from the show, The X-Files are the property of Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions, and Fox Broadcasting. No copyright infringement intended. No money made here. XXXXXXXXXX FOX MULDER'S APARTMENT 42 HEGAL PLACE ALEXANDRIA, VA "How are you feeling?" I asked, looking at him slumped on the couch. We'd returned from our harrowing night, which ended with Patterson's arrest. He would be treated for the gunshot wound Mulder gave him and then go straight to jail. I was relieved. Oddly enough, I wasn't surprised that Mulder wasn't. Despite his differences with Patterson, he hated how this case had turned out. I handed him a glass of iced tea and sat next to him on the couch. "Mulder?" I tried again. He turned his head slowly to look at me. "What if he was right?" "What are you talking about?" I asked. "What if you do have to become a monster, if only temporarily, in order to catch one? What does that say about me?" I sighed. "Mulder, you are a lot of things, but a monster is not one of them." "How can you be sure, Scully? My mind is not a good place to be sometimes. Kind of like a bad neighborhood, now that I think about it." I laid my hand on his thigh. I watched him tense but then relax again, sliding his hand over mine. "Mulder, you are blessed, or cursed, with a photographic memory, depending on how you look at it." "Hmmm," he murmured. "I've never been able to decide that myself; whether it was a blessing or a curse." "It's helped you solve a lot of cases." "It also leaves me with some pretty haunting images. I wouldn't get in line with all Patterson's sycophants. I couldn't believe him, Scully. When I look back now, though, I think I couldn't afford to. I was too close to the flame. Profiling was in my blood. I just couldn't consider the possibility that I might become what I despised. I needed to believe I could go into the abyss of a killer's mind and come back out, unscathed." "Of course you did. Any responsible profiler has to believe that and you have. You've always come back." "It's been close a few times." "Maybe, but you've always come back. There was a reason you left profiling behind you, too. You were self-aware enough to know that it was getting to you." He chuckled then. "No I wasn't. I left because I found the X-Files, and for no other reason. My focus shifted and I simply didn't care anymore. I had one goal, and one goal only; to find Samantha." "Mulder, you have to stop beating yourself up over every case, over every event that doesn't go well. In this case, I'm pleased. The bad guy was caught. He's going to jail." "Every time we put one away, another pops up to take his place." "What are you saying? That it's a waste of time? We shouldn't bother trying to find these guys and put them away?" "No. I don't know what I'm saying, Scully. I'm sorry I'm so morose. I just feel so," he began. "So what?" "So empty sometimes. I wonder what it's all for. I mean, intellectually, I know we're doing the right thing. My heart, however, doesn't always catch up to my head so quickly." I smiled. "That's because your head is working a hundred miles an hour. Nobody can keep up with it." He smiled softly then and squeezed my hand where it lay on his leg. "What would I do without you, Scully?" "Keep getting into trouble as always," I quipped. His smile stretched into a grin. "Not for long. I'd fuck up and you wouldn't be there to save my ass." I frowned, turning toward him. "Mulder, what can I do to make it better?" He waggled his eyebrows at me. I laughed. "Besides that." "Nothing." "Would that work?" I blurted out, wondering who was at the controls on my tongue. I didn't have to tell him I was referring to his innuendo and had suddenly taking it seriously. He startled and stared at me. "Are you serious?" I shrugged, looking down at my lap, not sure what to say. "It would improve my mood for sure," he said casually. "It would get my mind off of this case." I let out a nervous chuckle. "I'll bet, for a while anyway." "I have to slay my own monsters. I would never use you like that, Scully," he said finally, after a long pause. I knew he meant the monsters in his head, leftover every time he had a case like this. I turned to him again, finding him still staring at me. "No?" I asked. "I couldn't." "Why not?" "What kind of a question is that?" "Why wouldn't you? Take comfort that way, I mean, from me. Cause I'm not attractive enough? It would ruin our partnership? You think it would ruin our friendship? I guess I'm curious why you wouldn't." "Why I wouldn't take advantage of you?" he asked, clearly not sure whether to be insulted. "Exactly," I clarified. "I'm not the only one in a weird mood tonight, am I?" he inquired. "Answer the question." Our eyes caught and held again. "Because you mean way too much to me, Scully." He paused. "You're precious to me. I couldn't do any of this without you anymore." I felt tears sting my eyelids and blinked rapidly. "You mean a lot to me too, Mulder." His hands moved and were suddenly cupping my face. "You are the reason I get out of bed in the morning," he said quietly. "Oh, Mulder. Don't give me that kind of responsibility. You have a lot to live for." "Oh yeah? What? Samantha is gone. My parents don't give a shit about me. I have a huge trust fund and no one to spend it on. Did you know that? I have no one in my life that loves me. At least I have you, though." He said it so calmly. I felt an ache start deep in my chest and flare out, nearly stealing my breath. How could he remain such a caring man? Life had dealt him some rotten cards, for sure. "There are people who love you, Mulder," I said. His hands slid away from my face and he sat back against the rear of the couch again. He shot me a self-deprecating smile that said more clearly than words that he thought I was full of shit and humoring him. "Thanks for trying to make me feel better. I'll get over it, I promise. I just need a little time, as usual." I turned and used my hand to bring his face back to mine. "I'm not humoring you, Mulder." He was silent a long time and then asked, "Who? I'd like to know, Scully. If you're not humoring me; who is it that loves me?" he asked. His voice was filled with resignation. 'Could I do it?' I asked myself. I couldn't let him go on believing he was alone in the world, alone without love. I'd loved him for a long time. So many things had held me back from acting on that love. I was having a hard time thinking of any of them at the moment. When it came down to brass tacks, did it really matter? Wasn't love more important than any job, any quest, and any truth? It was the ultimate truth. If anyone deserved it, it was Mulder. He'd had more deceit, lies, and misconceptions thrown at him in his life than any man had a right to endure. In that moment of clarity I decided that I was going to be the one person he would never have to doubt. "I do," I said softly. His breath hitched and his eyes went dark as he stared at me. After a moment he said, "Don't tease me." His voice vibrated with the strain of not moving. "I'm not." Something like hope flared in his eyes but then died as he said, "You don't have to say that to save me, Scully. I don't need saving." He looked so sad now. "I'm tired of living a lie," I said. "I say I trust you, and I do, with everything but me, and what's in here." I tapped my chest with one hand, the other still on his face. His hand came up and captured my fingers, pressing on my chest. "What's in here? Tell me." I took a deep breath. "I've been in love with you for a long time." He looked shocked, confused, scared, and finally, excited and hopeful. I watched the emotions play out across his face. Many thought he had a poker face. I don't know why. I thought he wore his emotions on his sleeve most of the time. I knew Mulder loved me. He'd told me before in so many ways. I was afraid to acknowledge it, afraid to believe it for the longest time. I really didn't think I was his type. For a long time, I accepted that he loved me like a friend, but didn't harbor any romantic notions about me. Somehow, he's slipped under my radar and gotten under my skin. He was braver than me in so many ways. When it came to love, though, he was not brave. He'd been burned too many times. I was tired of living a life of longing and unfulfilled desire. "How can that be?" he asked finally. I smiled at him and leaned forward. "It just is, Mulder." "Am I going to wake up in a minute?" he asked flatly. I laughed then and brushed my lips over his. "No." "Oh God, Scully." "Do you love me?" I whispered. "Yes," he hissed. "Then let me help you make it all go away. Take the comfort. I'm offering it to you." I could see his struggle. He still wasn't one hundred percent sure. "It's not pity? You really want to be with me?" "In every way," I assured him. His pupils dilated and his eyes turned black. I watched his breathing speed up as he leaned into me slowly and finally captured my bottom lip between his and plucked at it, his tongue darting out to smooth the small bite. I groaned, feeling the sensation shoot straight to my core. My groan seemed to snap open something inside him. The next instant found me flat on my back on his couch, his large form hovering over me and his mouth locked over mine in a passionate kiss. When air became a necessity, he broke the kiss. He didn't pull away though; he merely continued his journey, moving down to my ears, neck, and collarbones and into my cleavage, what there was of it. His hands shook as he carefully unbuttoned my blouse, his eyes darting back to mine, seeking permission. I nodded. "Why don't we go into my bedroom?" he asked. "You have a bedroom?" I asked facetiously. He grinned and nodded, and sliding off the couch and extending his hand. He grasped mine and pulled me upright, nearly towing me into the bedroom. "Scully," he whispered. "Slow down, I'm not going to change my mind," I teased. He gave me a shy smile. "You sure?" "Yes, I've waited a long time for this." "Oh God, me too. So long, Scully." No more words were spoken as we proceeded to undress one another, kissing newly exposed skin and running our hands everywhere they would reach, reveling in the feel of hot, silky skin. XXXXXXXXXX NC-17 PORTION XXXXXXXXXX Once naked, he steered me to the center of the bed and got down between my spread legs, carefully placing one leg over each shoulder. I shivered with anticipation and couldn't take my eyes off the picture of his head between my legs. He flashed me a devilish grin and separated my folds with his thumbs. I hummed with pleasure and then threw my head back as I felt the first touch of his raspy tongue on my tender flesh. I was a little embarrassed at how wet I was down there. He seemed to revel in it, not turned off at all, as he lapped and sucked in my wetness, burrowing as deep as his tongue could go into my entrance. I moaned when his fingers joined the party and began pumping slowly in and out of me. After a couple of minutes of this exquisite torture, his lips wrapped around my clitoris. It was vibrating and jumping. He lapped his tongue over it at the same time his fingers found my G-spot on the front wall of my vagina and pressed hard. It sent me over the edge as I arched my back and cried out his name, "Mmuullddeerr! Oh God!" He moved up and held me gently as my breathing slowed and my body came back to the present. I looked up to find him blinking slowly at me with the most reverent look on his face. "Wow," I whispered. A smile broke out over his face and he leaned down to kiss me. Before he did, he whispered, "You are so beautiful." "Condom?" he asked softly. "I'm protected. You don't need one," I replied. I wanted to feel him, all of him inside me and I knew he was clean. He positioned himself between my legs. I guided him to my entrance and then held onto his biceps for support as he took his weight on his elbows. "No more slaying monsters by ourselves from now on, okay?" I offered. "We slay them together." "I think love can slay a lot of monsters," he said. "I hope so," I said and kissed him tenderly. "It's a deal," he whispered. He gazed at me for a long moment and then began pressing his bulk inside me. Although I'd glimpsed it before, I hadn't realized how well endowed he was. At least, he felt that way, as my long unused muscles stretched and spread over the head of his shaft. He moaned as his head sank inside and my muscles closed around the ridge at the base of his glans. He took several breaths and then continued his journey inside. I was unable to stop myself from whimpering, "Oh, oh, oh, oh." Every nerve ending in my body seemed to light up as he pressed himself deep inside, deeper than any had gone before him. I felt him touch down on my cervix and moaned. I hitched my legs up higher on his hips and he sank the final bit inside me, pressing his testicles against my ass. He swiveled his hips, grinding into me and we both groaned. He didn't move right away, enjoying the feel of penetration. We kissed tenderly. It soon escalated into fierce, passionate kisses and I wiggled beneath him. His hips began a long, slow slide out of my tunnel and a firm stroke back inside. Over and over again, he built me up to a peak. When I was whining and whimpering on the verge of orgasm, he would stop and hold still, kissing me into submission. Then he would start again. I'd never been worked over like this, never been brought to the edge so many times. It was like he knew just where to touch, where to kiss, how to stroke me until I was nearly sobbing with my need for release. I was so turned on, I was mindless with need. I kept thrusting my hips toward him in an effort to gain that little bit of stimulation that would send me over the edge. The walls of my sex were quivering on his shaft and I felt feverish. "You ready?" he croaked out. "Oh Jesus! Yes! Please, make me come!" I screeched, unable to believe I was begging him for release. He sped up, slamming his hips into mine. His pubic bone crushed my clitoris and two strokes later, my world shattered into a million pieces. I felt pleasure rocket through me, convulsing my body, stinging my nipples, and making my head swim with the dizziness. The impact was not lost on Mulder. He shouted as he felt my orgasm rip through me, squeezing him with nearly unbearable tightness and massaging his throbbing shaft. I felt it pulse heavily and then my insides were being flooded with the warmth of his release, which made me shudder with sensation as I came down from my own release. He shouted, "Oh shit! I'm coming. I love you!" His hips jerked several times, out of his control as he emptied himself deep inside my belly. XXXXXXXXXX END NC-17 PORTION XXXXXXXXXX We were silent for several minutes while we each regained control over our breathing. Post-coital lassitude hit me hard and I relaxed into the mattress, sighing deeply. He rolled off me to the side, relieving me of his weight, but pulled me up so that I was lying on his stomach, my head under his chin. Our sweaty bodies clung to one another and I didn't mind at all. "Are you all right?" he asked. "Never been better. You?" "Perfect. No regrets?" he asked. "None. There's no monster we can't slay if we stick together, Mulder. I mean that. You'll never become what you hate as long as I'm around." I felt his lips brush the hair on top of my head. "Thank God," he said softly. After a moment, he said, "I do have one monster that doesn't seem to ever die." "Oh, what would that be?" In answer, he raised his hips, poking me with his still tumescent cock. I laughed. "I'll slay that monster as often as you like," I replied. The return of his humor was a sure sign that he was feeling better. "Be careful what you ask for, Scully," he said playfully. "I know exactly what I'm asking for. Just love, Mulder." "You've got that," he said. "So do you," I said. He hugged me tight and I fell asleep right there on his warm chest, feeling him breath, and his heart beat against my ear. THE END.