Title: No More Waiting

Author: MeGgiE_42

Disclaimer: Not mine, wish they were. :P

E-mail: dreamland_1013@hotmail.com

Rating: PG

Classification: MSR, Angst

 

Spoilers: Takes place right where Per Manum left off

Summary: "Scully you can't give up.  There are other 

          ways; we won't stop trying."

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"Never give up on a miracle." 

For a long time they just stood there, Mulder holding 

Scully in his arms as she cried.  He'd never seen her 

so vulnerable, and it made his heart break.  She was 

the strong one, the one who kept him sane, his best 

friend and partner.  She was his life and Scully didn't 

deserve this.  Suddenly, he realized what he had to do.

"Scully--" his voice was barely above a whisper, and 

when it caught in his throat, he pulled her close 

against him.  The pain in his heart was almost 

unbearable.  Mulder had never known anything could 

hurt so much.  "I'm so sorry."

Almost unconsciously, he let his hands sooth up 

and down her back.  Scully didn't move, just let 

herself be held.  She seemed so small, so fragile 

in his arms.  Mulder quickly pushed the thought 

away because it scared him.   

Even though he knew she was exactly where she needed 

to be at the moment, Mulder was somewhat surprised 

that Scully hadn't pulled away from him yet.  But 

after a long moment, she pulled back to look at him.  

The sadness and complete exhaustion he saw in her 

eyes killed him all over again.

"Mulder, it's not your fault," Scully managed to 

say, trying her best to smile.  It wasn't working.  

She wiped at her tears, and began to pull away, but 

he wasn't about to let her go.  Scully had finally 

let down that steadfast wall she'd built around her 

emotions, and he wasn't about to let her begin 

building it again.  

Gently, Mulder led his partner to the couch and 

sat her down.  He still held onto her hand, as he 

gently said, "Scully, you don't deserve this." 

"I should have just accepted it and moved on," 

she said quietly, staring blankly at a nonexistent 

spot on the floor.

Without saying a word, Mulder gathered his tiny 

partner into his lap, feeling a tear escape down 

his cheek, despite his best efforts to hold it back.  

Scully didn't resist, allowing Mulder to fold his 

arms around her as she collapsed against his chest.  

He kissed the top of her head before resting his 

chin there.  Seeing Scully like this terrified him, 

and for a few minutes, Mulder couldn't speak.

Finally, he found his voice.  "Scully you can't 

give up.  There are other ways; we won't stop 

trying."  Mulder paused, holding his breath, hoping 

he hadn't gone too far.  He needed her to know that 

she wasn't alone; that he would do anything for her 

no matter what.  He desperately needed her to know 

how he felt, and wanted to finally know the same 

from her.  But Mulder was too afraid to ask.  One 

wrong move and everything he held dear in his life 

could come crashing down.

Scully shifted to meet his gaze, and Mulder knew 

that he had to tell her.  She deserved to know, 

and holding it in for so long was eating him alive.  

He bit his lip, taking a deep breath and trying 

to ignore the rapid beating of his own heart.   

"Scully--" Seeing her grief-stricken look gave 

him the courage to continue.  Mulder gently took 

her face in his hands, making her meet his gaze 

as he said quietly, earnestly, "Scully, I love you.  

I always have." He desperately searched her eyes, 

wanting her to know the depth of his words.  "And I 

would do anything for you.  I hope you know that."

If he wasn't so scared, Mulder might have laughed 

at the priceless look on his partner's face.  He 

caught her runaway tear with his thumb, attempting 

a lopsided grin as he held his breath waiting for 

Scully's next words.

For a long moment, she just stared at him, an 

expression he couldn't quite read filtering 

through her tear stained cheeks.  Mulder 

swallowed hard, fighting off the urge to speak.  

When Scully finally did, her voice was barely a 

whisper.

"Mulder," she laid her head back on his chest, 

closing her eyes and wrapping her arms around his 

neck.  He felt her choke back a sob as she hugged 

him tightly.  "You already have."

He didn't know whether to be relieved or depressed.  

Mulder held onto Scully as if both their lives 

depended on it.  For all he knew, it did.  He'd 

finally done it, told her how he felt, but did she 

feel the same?  What if she didn't?  Could his 

heart stand the truth?  

Scully must have sensed his tension, because she 

pulled back to look at him.  Mulder knew his panic 

face was in full force, and a horrible feeling of 

dread overcame him, when his partner smiled 

sympathetically, and cupped his face in her hands. 

"Scully--" He stopped when she placed a gentle 

finger on his lips.  This was it.  There was no 

turning back now.  He knew the next words out of 

Scully's mouth would either make him the happiest

man in the world, or doom him to a fate worse than 

any government conspiracy could produce.

"Mulder," Scully finally said, pausing to take a 

breath when her voice caught.  "When the doctor 

told me that there was a possibility that I would 

still have a child; when he asked if I had someone 

in mind, I realized...I finally understood that 

there was only one man I could ever want to start 

a family with."  She blinked back tears and 

searched his gaze.  "Mulder, I love you.  It just 

took me a while to realize that I always have."

For a second, he couldn't believe his ears.  

Had he just heard what he thought he had?  Had 

Scully, *his* Scully just told him that he 

was The One?  That she loved him?  His partner's 

laughter broke Mulder from his reverie, and he 

couldn't help the grin that spread across his 

face.

Mulder pulled Scully into his arms, crushing 

her in a fierce hug, and feeling like a million 

ton weight had just been lifted off his shoulders.  

When he finally let her pull back, his face hurt 

from smiling.  He wasmore than glad to see the 

same expression mirrored on his partner's face.

"Mulder, what took us so long?" she asked as he 

took her hand in his, brushing a kiss across her 

knuckles.  "What were we waiting for?"

"I don't know Scully," he answered honestly.  "I 

guess we're both too stubborn, and neither of us 

can stand being wrong."  Mulder grinned wryly, 

adding to himself, 'or letting the other know when 

we're scared, or how we really feel'.  For the 

life of him though,he didn't know why.  They'd 

trusted each other on everything else.

Mulder suddenly remembered why he was there 

in the first place, and sobered.  He'd meant 

every word when he said that Scully deserved 

more than this.  Feeling nauseous with nervous 

anticipation, Mulder made himself muster up the 

courage to do the scariest thing he'd ever 

done--which he knew was saying a lot for 'Spooky' 

Mulder.

Keeping hold of Scully's hand, Mulder gently 

tucked a stray lock of auburn hair behind her ear.  

When he spoke, his voice was full of honest 

emotion.

"Scully, I don't wait any more."  He pleaded 

with her eyes, knowing in his heart she understood.  

"I meant what I said.  I promise you I won't 

give up if you won't."  A tear slid down Mulder's 

cheek.  He hadn't noticed he was crying.

Scully caught the tear with her index finger, 

letting her own fall freely.  She opened her 

mouth to speak, but it was Mulder's turn to 

stop her.  He had to do this while he still had 

the courage.

"Marry me, Scully."  He spoke so softly, for a 

split second, Mulder wasn't sure if he'd actually 

said it out loud.  From the look on Scully's face, 

she wasn't either.  He grinned, kissed her hand 

again before placing it against his heart, and 

more confidently added, "It's ridiculous to go 

on living like we are.  We've wasted too 

much time already."  

Scully seemed to be in a state of shock, so 

Mulder grinned, and, gently guiding her off his 

lap and onto the seat next to him, and got 

down on one knee.  "Dana Katherine Scully, 

will you marry me?"

The visual aid to his words seemed to finally 

get through to her, and Scully suddenly burst 

out laughing.  It was not a reaction Mulder was 

expecting, nor was he prepared for what happened 

next.  His normally reserved, business-like 

partner, suddenly jumped up, and flew into his 

arms.  He let out a confused laugh, hugging 

her back.

"I take that as a yes?"  Mulder didn't want to 

let go, but loosened his grip enough for Scully 

to pull back to look him in the eye.

"Yes, Mulder."  Scully whispered, bringing 

her lips to his in a slow, sweet kiss.  

"I'll marry you."  

Mulder knew he must look like an idiot, but 

couldn't stop grinning.  He sat back down, 

bringing his partner with him.  Scully climbed 

back into his lap, resting her head on his 

chest, fitting perfectly under his chin once 

again.  He held her, knowing they'd both been 

through so much--not just today--and needed 

time to let it all sink in.

"Mulder?"  Scully's voice was slurred with 

sudden tiredness.

"Hmm?"  He asked, closing his eyes against her 

hair.  It felt so right to have his arms wrapped 

around her like this.

"Thank you for waiting.  And for not giving up."  

Her voice was thick with emotion.

Mulder tilted her chin up, kissing his partner 

like he'd wanted to do for way too long.  They'd 

both done enough waiting, lost so much, and he 

didn't care what happened anymore as long as they 

were together.  "Scully, you're one who could 

never give up."  He grinned when he realized she'd 

fallen asleep in his arms.  To himself, he added, 

"And I would wait forever for you if I had to." 

For the first time in his life, Mulder knew he 

wouldn't have to wait.

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Author's notes: Just a little wishful thinking 

on my part. :) I hope you enjoyed it! And

if you did, be sure to drop me a line! 

~Meggie~