This is kind of a little sequel to "Leaving Comity" which I sent to Lisdy the other day. All the same disclaimers still apply. We know who the X-Files belong to and it isn't us, although we do like to appropriate it now and then. This one is a definite PG and I wrote it on 2/25/96. I call the dog Clyde in this story because it seems that that is what everyone else calls him. This picks up at the very end of "Pusher" which IMHO was an absolutely fabulous episode. Thank you CC et. al. All flames, etc. etc. can be sent to macspooky@erols.com "Contentment" by Macspooky Dana Scully stood and stared at her partner for a long moment as he sat in the chair, his face buried in his hands. She wanted to go to him, to put her hand on his shoulder, no..to wrap her arms around him, but at that moment she dare not. There were too many other people in the room and she had to maintain her professional demeanor. She pulled a Kleenex out of her pocket and wiped away the tears that had escaped while Mulder had held that gun on her. Finally, everyone was gone and they were alone, Fox still slumped in his seat. She had told the other agents that she feared he was in shock and to give her a moment with him. No one argued or questioned it. She was a doctor after all and his partner. She went over to him and put a hand on his shoulder, but he shoved her away. She had been able to feel him trembling. She bent down close to him and once again touched him. "Leave me alone, Scully..." "It's okay to call me Dana," she said softly brushing his sweat soaked hair from his face. "Sometimes, Mulder, I don't know where you find your strength." "Strength....I f**king shot you..." He pushed her away again and got to his feet..."You call that strength?" "Mulder," she said quietly, "you fought him....you held him off until you could warn me to run. No one else could do that...no one. He wanted a worthy adversary and he found one. We're okay..." "Yeah...right..." "Tell you what...Let's go home. We can both use a shower. We'll worry about the paperwork later...Come on..." She took his hand. "Come on, Mulder. I think you may be in shock and I sure as hell need to get away from here for a little while...Let's go....." "I nearly killed you, Scully...I nearly killed you...." "Then let's call it even...and I walked away without a wound." Dana reached out to take his hand and instead found herself wrapping her arms around him. It was a brief hug, only an instant, but it said a lot. He seemed to pull himself together. He gazed down at her briefly and touched her hair, and then, once again professional FBI Agents, they left the hospital room. After a couple aspirin and a nice hot shower Dana felt a lot better. She tried to call Mulder to make certain he was alright but got no answer. She thought she knew where to find him, and there was a ton of paperwork to be done as well, so with a sigh, she got dressed and went back to Mercy hospital. As she suspected, she found him in Pusher's hospital room looking more like his old self...tall and clean shaven and so very handsome in his light shirt and tie and perpetually rumpled rain coat. Finally, he touched her hand, grasped her finger ever so briefly in a gesture that spoke volumes. They left the hospital together and headed back to the office to begin the paper work. "Shall we send out for a pizza?" he asked her finally. "No...not tonight...." she replied. "Let's finish up tomorrow. I can't think straight anymore today." "Know what you mean....lucky I couldn't shoot straight either or that the bullet was....." "Mulder, enough. It wasn't your fault," she said firmly. "Listen....my mom went on a cook-a-thon and sent me a big pot of chicken and dumplings...too much to eat alone. Why don't you come home with me and share it? We can stop and get a salad and...." "I don't know if it's a good idea..." he replied although he loved chicken and dumplings and if Margaret had made them, he knew they would be good. He knew he had said the wrong thing immediately. The change in her expression was very subtle, but definitely one of hurt. She was trying to tell him that everything was okay between them now, that whatever had been going on before was truly over now, and he was ruining it for her. He was good at that....ruining things for people...like their lives...her life.... "On the other hand, chicken and dumplings are my favorite, and if your mom made them...." Her face lit in a rare smile. "Okay, but you have to promise me you'll eat your salad too." "Yes, mother," he replied with a grin reaching for his coat. How many months had it been since they had done anything like this? Too long...he decided. The tension had been so bad they hadn't been able to get away from each other quickly enough these past months, at least until Comity and cosmic PMS had finally brought everything to a head. He sat across from Dana at the kitchen table sated with delicious food, including the salad, and feeling relaxed from the single glass of white wine she had poured for each of them. He gazed at her for a long moment, and then forced his eyes away. She bent over and picked up the Pomeranian who had been sitting at her feet yipping and begging, and delicately fed him a few small pieces of chicken. "You know, Scully," he said softly...."you have a beautiful home....I mean...it's like everything is....pretty. Sometimes I wish...." "What...what do you wish..." she smiled as Clyde took the last bite of chicken. She set him down and he wandered over to Mulder in the hopes that the man might have some more for him. The amount that the one called Mulder had smuggled under the table to the dog seemed rather piddling in light of the fact that he would probably get nothing but Kibbles and Bits for the next week. "Don't you dare give Clyde another bite," she stated. "He's going to throw up as it is...now what about what you wish..." "Ah it's nothing...I was just going to say that sometimes I wish I had a pretty home...but hell, I was raised in one....what does it matter." He got up and began clearing away dishes. "Doesn't matter how pretty it is if it's empty of love...." "Tell me about it," she replied dryly shooing the dog away. "When I was growing up, the house was always a mess...four kids....Navy housing....I always thought I wanted everything perfect....hell....I've got it and it's...empty...I'll make coffee. I think there is a SciFi movie on HBO." "Okay...Come on dog thing. I think mommy is ordering us out of the kitchen...." He headed toward the living room. Dana realized that she had revealed more than she had an intended, but inspite of this she turned to him and said, "Mulder....don't call me that....please...." "I was only joking, Scully...." "I know....I know that, Mulder....but I'm....well....I'm 33, and well...the biological clock is ticking...you know..." He nodded quietly and left her to her coffee making preparations. She wouldn't have wanted him to say more. She was probably regretting she had said anything already. He had never thought of Dana in terms of being someone's wife...someone's mother. It was not something that she seemed to want, but he supposed it was different for a woman. He could keep having kids until his 80's, but for her, time was going to start running out. Was she losing herself in his quest? Was he losing himself? In the past, it hadn't mattered because there had been no one else involved, and then suddenly Dana Scully had been sent into his life. He had planned to frighten her away, to convince her that he was totally insane. It had been easy with other partners he had worked with. With Dana, it hadn't worked. She had been green and inexperienced, a forceful personality but one who had lacked experience with the upper echelon. She had taken her job seriously. She had really thought, at least at first, that she had been sent to actually solve cases while she was debunking his work. And he had come to depend upon her...to love her. The word jumped into his head unbidden...to love her....yes, he loved her more than he had ever loved anything in his life. He had known that for awhile, had even whispered it to her as she slept one night, but lately he just kept thinking about it more and more and he didn't want to. Clyde jumped up into his lap. He had always pretended to hate the dog, but in fact the little fuzz ball was kind of cute. He switched on the TV and flipped channels. Cool..."Puppet Masters" with Donald Sutherland was on. He hadn't had a chance to watch it, or when he had, he had always fallen asleep. "Found a movie you like?" she smiled coming in the room and handing him a mug of coffee. She sat down on the couch a reasonable distance away from him and they started to watch. He was quickly engrossed. "Have any popcorn?" he asked her. "Coming up." Dana got up and went into the kitchen returning a few minutes later. He patted the sofa next to her and she kept the bowl on her lap. Clyde lifted his head just long enough to sniff and went back to sleep on Mulder's lap, and suddenly she found Mulder's arm around her. She started to move away, but decided it was too comfortable. It felt good to sit on the couch with a man touching her. Her feet joined his on the coffee table lightly touching the calf of his leg, and they sat quietly munching on popcorn and watching what was, in her opinion, a decidedly silly movie. "His partner's a good looking chick," he observed contentedly speaking of the lead alien chasing agent. "Never mind his partner...he's a hunk...." she replied with a smile. "Bet you're wondering how come you never get a good looking chick like that for a partner..." "Bet you wonder why you never get a hunk like him..." They laughed easily. The two leads were starting to kiss....passionately. "Ah, Hollywood...." he sighed. "Yeah, right...if we ever tried something like that, Skinner would probably burst in the door and we'd both get fired...." They settled down to watch again. "Those are kind of wimpy aliens anyway... "Don't say it too loud, Scully. We may run into one on our next case..." "Yeah....and I'll get to do the autopsy...." Another long moment of silence. She realized that he was sniffing her hair. "Dana," he said finally after careful consideration, "you always smell pretty....like vanilla...." "Especially after an all night stake out." She chuckled. "You smell pretty nice yourself, Mulder....most of the time..." "Especially after a fertilizer factory blows up all over me...." "Us...she corrected..."blows up all over us....Mulder and Scully against the world and all that. Don't know how it managed to miss the roach doctor. What I get for telling her to stay in the car." Dana snickered. Conversation lapsed again....."Scully, do you think you might do me a favor?" "What, Mulder?" "When we are alone....like this...I mean just you and me....could you call me Fox...." Dana looked up at him for a long moment taking in his hazel eyes and the gentle, rather awkward way he gazed at her. A smile lit her face, and, Fox realized, his life. With those few words, he had made her happy, and somehow the effect upon his own soul was electrifying. "I'll try to remember, Mul....Fox...." she said softly. She nestled down close to him again. Gently, he kissed the top of her head and sighed. She would never know. She had fallen asleep contentedly. He turned back toward the TV and quietly watched the rest of the movie, his Dana...his partner...tucked closely against his chest....and day dreamed about what it would be like to be with her always in a world where they were not forever worried about being killed or losing each other. The End