Title: Tilt and Dream Author: Emily Sim E-mail: xf_emily_sim@yahoo.ca Spoilers: Beyond the Sea Rating: Nc17 Classification: MSR Summary: Boggs may be dead and gone but Scully is still experiencing problems related to the case and her father's untimely death. Her solution to solve her sleep problem is a little unorthodox. Notes: Thanks to Tali, xdks, & Foxcat for extraordinary beta and handholding. Your encouragement is priceless! (and your ability to withstand my abuse of the lowly comma) Thanks to Mimic who kicked my butt just a little when I needed it. A very special note of thanks and big hugs to Tali who is responsible for getting them 'off the couch'. I hit a mental road block and she was instrumental in getting me unstuck! She helped write that little scene. Hmm....should we poking her to write for us? Written as a 'Fando' first challenge -- a virtual first season of smut. Disclaimer: I still don't own them. I always clean up after I play. Tilt: to forge or work steel with a tilt hammer ******** It was night number seven. The seventh night of waking with damp sheets tangled around her legs, her body sore and exhausted from fending off faceless enemies, and a scream swallowed by the darkness of the night. There were small variations to her dream, but none significant enough to tell her what she was supposed to be seeing, what her subconscious was trying to tell her. Not that she put much stock in the whole dreams as revelation thing. That was Missy's department. With shaking hands she pulled the tangled sheets away, freeing her legs. Every evening, sleep seemed to come later. The first two nights, the dream seemed a silly coincidence, brought on by the stress of the case, her father's death, Mulder's injury, and the weird circumstances surrounding Luther Boggs, her strange connection to him. The third night she lay, struggling to quell her uneasiness, dreading closing her eyes only to open her mind to the thing lurking, waiting, paused on instant replay. On the fourth night, she found herself trying one of Melissa's harebrained dream directing ideas. She spent forty-five minutes repeatedly telling herself what she would do the moment it began. She woke that night with tears falling, and that horrible feeling in her throat, the one that came from trying to scream and scream, but no sound would come out. She decided Melissa's dream directing was a stupid idea. The idea of a hidden meaning or message became a credible one, on the fifth night. That was the night a new act was added. She considered the possibility that, unable to get the meaning across, her mind had added another piece to try and grab her attention. On that night, when her hands had finally stopped shaking, she spent the first few moments trying to analyze it, and the rest of the time trying to put it out of her mind so she could get a few hours rest. She was afraid, afraid to sleep, to dream, to close her eyes and once again find herself trying to run and not able to, screaming, and yet making no sound. Each night brought a little less rest, and tonight, she may have managed fifteen or twenty minutes before it began. Her feet, finally free of the sheet, landed with a soft thud onto the plush carpet and she made her way to the kitchen to put the coffee on. Seven nights of nightmares had taught her that there would be no more sleep for her. Fighting it only made the headache she knew would be coming, worse. ****** As Scully made her way through the building she decided to be thankful for small mercies. Mulder was still recovering at home, which meant no new cases and no Skinner. Buried in paperwork, hidden away in what passed for Mulder's office, she didn't have to explain the dark smudges under her eyes that make -up had failed to hide the last two days. Well, she might have managed to hide it, had she decided looking like a two bit hooker wasn't to her liking. It took more to cover those than it did the mole above her lip. She pushed open the door, and stopped, coffee sloshing out through the small opening she had made in the lid. Shit. Mulder sat, leaning precariously back, injured leg up, propped on a pillow. He grinned at her. "You brought a pillow in?" "Morning to you too, Scully." "Mulder, what are you doing here?" "This is where I work?" "Skinner made it clear you were to take the week, the whole week, off." "I'm a fast healer." "That isn't the point." "I was bored." "So?" "Aw, you missed me." She dropped her briefcase by the table, and set the coffee down. "Mulder, you don't want to complicate things for yourself. There's a very good reason the doctor told you to stay off it." "I'm fine. I feel great. I can rest here just as well as I can at home." He crunched another seed between his teeth. "What have you been up to?" "Paperwork." "Still?" "Still. We're behind. Skinner decided that it would be a good use of my time to finish it up instead of sending me over to Quantico for the week." "Damn. I came in to watch you do paperwork?" "No, you came in to help me finish the paperwork." She booted up the computer. "Do you want to go home yet?" More crunches, but no words came from her now silent partner. "Mulder?" She looked up to find him staring intently at her. "What?" "Scully, have you lost weight?" "What?" "Are you feeling okay?" Scully bristled a little at his familiar concern. "I'm fine." "Dana--." "What's with that?" "What?" "The name thing. You hardly ever use my first name." "I don't?" Scully let it go. That Mulder did anything without knowing seemed a little far-fetched. What she had learned, to date, about the man who was her partner, led her to believe nothing he did was by chance. He was far too intentional in his pursuits, too deliberate in his choice of words for that. It was with some relief, on both their parts, that they busied themselves in the paperwork. When Mulder, frustrated at his lack of mobility, decided to cut out early, she breathed a sigh of relief. The simple act of sitting up straight was wearing, she just wanted to lay her head down and close her eyes. She forced herself to remain until quitting time; Scully wasn't sure she could handle another night like the last few, and wasn't anxious to get home and face her empty apartment, inhabited as it were with the ghosts of the last week. Which was why she found herself, a few hours later, sitting at a bar stool, nursing a whiskey, straight up, no ice. She wasn't fooling around tonight. She had caught a taxi over, anticipating - - well, actually, it embarrassed her to evennn think about what she was anticipating. She didn't want to think tonight. She just wanted to get drunk enough to prevent her usual cautious introspection. Tonight she was aiming to pick up some nice, twenty-something stud, and let him fuck her senseless. In the background, Garth Brooks could be heard, crooning over the clinking of glasses and the chatter of the patrons. She had only been to this bar twice before, once when she was at Quantico, and once with Mulder, a few weeks earlier. The first time, her friends, Kathy and Jane, had dragged her along with them after a particularly grueling day. At the time, the split with Daniel was a far enough behind her that she had already begun dating Jack Willis, so she wasn't there for the impressive male scenery. Kathy, on the other hand, had wanted to pick up one of the nice University boys known to frequent the place. Her openness with her sexuality was such a contrast to Dana's own reticence. Perhaps, a much older and wiser Scully pondered, that is what happens when you get involved with people who have things to hide. Dating a married man, and then her instructor, she shivered involuntarily. Both experiences had left her a little burned, a little more closed off, and defiantly wary. But tonight, she was going to put that part of her away. Hell, she just wanted to sleep and this seemed preferable to downing pills. Briefly, she wondered if she was thinking clearly, quickly dismissing the thought. She thought too much. No thinking too much tonight. ****** When the call came from Teddy, bartender at the Elbow Room, it took Mulder some time to process what he was saying. Teddy, a large, burly man in his fifties, with tattoos lining both arms, looked out for the more naive women who showed up on the weekends. Sometimes they were brought in on the arm of some handsome stud, other times they came with friends. The bar was known as a pickup joint and frequented by those looking to get lucky, but once in a while, some unknowing young girl would find herself the recipient of unwanted attention. Those were the young women and, sometimes, young men, Teddy watched out for. This night, he had noticed Mulder's pretty young partner, looking thin and pale, nursing her whiskey, with a predatory gleam in her eye. He and Mulder went back a few years. Teddy had lost a sister to a serial rapist, and Mulder, with the BSU at the time, had been the investigator to take the bastard down. Teddy's sister, pregnant from the encounter, had downed a fist full of sleeping pills and had never woken up. The two had become something akin to friends, and when Mulder had a particularly bad time of it, he would head over to Teddy's and numb himself. He could count on Teddy to keep the pretty co-eds at bay. Teddy felt he owed it to Mulder to keep an eye out for him, and that meant the partner was part of the package. It had been clear to Teddy, when the partners had come in a few weeks back, that Mulder was just a little predatory where Dana Scully was concerned. A man used to watching people, he had noticed Mulder's disquiet with the attention paid to his partner by the young men, and for once in a long time, Mulder had seemed at peace with himself. Teddy was sure the pretty redhead was the reason why. "Teddy, you need to say that again." "Open the ears Muldoon. I have your lovely partner sitting at the end of my bar, and the lions are circling." "See, Teddy, that's what I don't quite get. Scully, sitting at the Elbow?" "Fuck man, what part didn't you get? She's here, sitting all pretty, with a whiskey, straight up, looking like, well, like she's in need." "In need?" "I'm holding them off for you, pal. See that you hurry up." Mulder tossed the cordless onto the couch, and lifted his leg off the coffee table, where it was propped on a pillow. The leg didn't feel too bad. He had, for once, been good about following doctor's orders. Well, most of the orders anyway. He wasn't supposed to be back until Monday, but when he got up this morning he couldn't stand his own company any longer, and he had worn out his welcome at the Gunmen's. Besides, he missed Scully. Even though she came over every night to make sure he ate and took his medicine, it wasn't enough. He had gotten used to spending his days with her. He stood, trying out the leg for stability and decided he could probably manage without the crutches. He found them a pain in the ass anyway. ******** Teddy hung up and made his way down to the corner where Dana was perched, three men surrounding her. Shit, one of the guys was Wayne. He moved closer. Her smile and laughter couldn't hide the fatigue he saw in her eyes. This was a woman who needed protecting from herself. He was glad he had called Mulder. Now he had to keep the studs away until he got there. "Hey, Dana. You doing okay?" Four sets of eyes looked his way. "Wayne." He waited for Wayne to acknowledge the unspoken message. There was a small stand off and then Wayne nodded in assent, slapped his buddy on the shoulder and jerked his head towards the pool table. "Come on, Dave, let's see if I still have it. I'll even let you break." Teddy eyed the lone remaining man, and was preparing to interrupt his attempted seduction when he heard a familiar voice. He looked over to see Fox Mulder making his way to the bar. He'd leave the stud-muffin to his buddy. "Hey Teddy." He reached across to shake the large man's hand, and turned to meet the startled eyes of his partner. "Scully. Sorry to keep you waiting." He paused for a moment, and then met the eyes of the blond who had one hand wrapped possessively around Scullys arm. There was a brief moment of alpha male posturing, and then the man let go in a move that denoted surrender. Mulder smiled and moved in closer, despite the fact that Scully had moved from startled, to suspicious and was now just plain pissed off at his appearance, "I'll have whatever Scullys having." "You can't mix alcohol with your meds, Mulder." "Didn't take them tonight _Doctor_." "Mulder! You have to finish the whole bottle." "Relax Scully. They're done. I'm good. So, what brings you to this part of town?" For a moment, something that looked a lot like anguish crossed her face. Then, as quickly as it came, it was gone, replaced by a smile that was forced. He noted, for the first time how pale and drawn she looked. Her eyes were sunken, even the make-up and the dim lighting couldn't hide the grey smudges under her eyes. It was obvious she was dealing with something and he hadn't a clue what it might be. He hadn't seen her drink much nor did he have many chances to observe her in a social setting, so he wasn't sure what might or might not be normal for her. "Hey partner," he moved in closer, turning his body to allow for a measure of privacy at the crowded counter. When she turned her face away, he gently drew his fingers along the side of her face, entreating her to look. He was surprised to find her blinking back tears. "Scully? Do you want to get out of here?" She nodded. Mulder's arrival had shaken her resolve, reduced her to feeling like a reckless, wanton, and inebriated woman. She felt he could see her intentions as if they were written on her forehead. Seven sleepless nights, her fear that things would not get better, her own behavior tonight weighed her down. He caught her just as she began to lose her balance, held her while she cried, and managed to get her out to his car, despite his bad leg. ****** Scully was pacing. Mulder watched her circumvent the perimeter of the room, her brow furrowed, mouth drawn in a line. Every so often she stopped, opened her mouth to speak, closed it again, and continued on. It was driving him crazy, but he knew better than to say anything until she worked through whatever was going on in her head. By the time they had made it back to her apartment she was back in tight control of her emotions. He had come up because he needed to make sure she wasn't going to head back out again. He wasn't sure, but what he gleaned from Teddy forced him to consider that his partner's motives for being at the bar may have been a little carnal. Could you be a little bit carnal? He wasn't sure. He was startled to find her stopped in front of him. "Scully?" Although it seemed safe to speak now, he wasn't sure what he was seeing in her eyes right now. Anytime he couldn't read Scully he got worried. "Mulder, I need you to listen to me." "Sure Scully." "I've been walking around with this in my head since the case." "Which case?" "I know we've been working together for a while now, and I know I don't always agree with you. Actually, we probably disagree a lot. The whole thing with Boggs and then my dad," she paused, "I saw my dad." "You saw your dad?" "The night he died. And Boggs -- I think he had some kind of connection -- anyway, I haven't been sleeping. It's been a week since I slept, and tonight -- tonight I -- Mulder --"." "What is it Scully?" "I went out tonight to try and -- to -- and then you showed up and chased them all away and then I realized I was sitting in a bar trying to pick up a stranger and I shouldn't fuck a stranger because that is a really stupid thing to do -- I kept saying to myself, "Dana, this is a really stupid thing to do", but I don't know what else to do and I don't want to take sleeping pills because they really screw with my system and -- ah fuck -- this _is_ the stupidest thing I have ever thought to do." There was no air left in her lungs and she found herself sucking in a lung full, attempting to gain some control. Mulder sat back, mouth open. Okay, if he was really honest with himself, each and every time she said fuck, his dick jumped a little. Okay, a lot. It jumped a lot. If he understood her, she went out to get laid. And he interrupted it. Which meant -- which meant -- he wasn't sure he wanted to guess what it might mean. He shifted in his seat. His dick liked the idea of fucking Dana Scully, but his heart and his mind didn't want to screw with what was turning out to be a really good partnership. Hell, his last decision to sleep with a partner made a mess of his work and personal life. It was not a good idea. Ah fuck, it was the worst idea in the world but he was just getting harder thinking about how good a bad decision it would be. She was still standing in front of him, eyes on the floor, embarrassed, with what she had revealed. She still had her work suit on, but the jacket had been tossed and the buttons on her blouse had been undone to allow a small amount of cleavage to show. The blouse itself wasn't overly sexy, but it did allow a faint outline of her breasts to be seen, her nipples two, small little points, calling out to him. He was sure she was still a little drunk, and it wouldn't be fair to take advantage of a drunken woman. While he rationalized how bad an idea it would be, Scully had moved closer. When her knees bumped his it broke his reverie and brought his face in line with her crotch. Well, at least where it was located, hidden behind the rumpled skirt. And in that moment, he knew he couldn't say no. Whatever she needed from him was hers to have. He looked up to meet her eyes and his cock jumped again. Her eyes were dark, predatory. He swallowed and opened his mouth to speak when she dropped her skirt, revealing a lace garter holding up stockings. No underwear. His partner had gone to the bar without her panties on. Oh shit, he was in trouble. "Scully?" Was that his voice that squeaked? "Mulder?" And then she was straddling him and he was pushing himself up against her and -- oh fuck -- her breasts were in his face. He wrapped his mouth around one nipple, blouse and all. It had to go. He pushed her back and he managed to discard both it and the bra while she tugged at his boxers and pants. They ended up around his ankles, and he was buried in her hot folds before he had a chance to stand and discard them. He wasn't going to last long if she kept this pace up. With every bit of reserve in him, he pulled back and captured her face in his hands. "Scully." She tried to shake his hands free. "I need you to slow it down." When his words seemed to register he moved to still her hips. They both groaned, and then he was moving his mouth towards hers. She turned her face away; somehow kissing would make it into something it wasn't supposed to be. Instead, sucking his earlobe into her mouth, she gently bit down. The sensation went straight to his cock, causing him to push away the mild hurt at her rejection, letting his arousal take over. Grabbing her hips, he pulled her back down and started thrusting up into to her as hard and fast as he could. He moved his mouth down, trailing kisses down her throat, to capture her nipple in his mouth, biting down. Her hands were squeezing his ass cheeks and despite his attempts to hold on, he knew he was seconds away from exploding. "Now, Mulder. Now." She cried out and he could feel himself being squeezed. It was hot, and tight, and so fucking wet --"Ah, ah, oh yeah, right there baby --" he pushed in as far as he could and then he was spilling into her. When their breathing had steadied out, and before it could collapse into something horribly strained and embarrassing, Mulder picked her up on unsteady legs and moved to the bedroom. It was amazing what a little sex did for his sore leg. He couldn't feel it right now. He managed to pull the covers back and there was a moment of hesitation when he wondered whether he should stay or go. He decided she looked far too cozy to leave and got in, tucking her into him, her ass resting in the cradle of his hips. Sleep was a long way off, his mind racing with possible scenarios and outcomes from this encounter. He didn't regret the sex, Scully was a beautiful, sexy woman and his attraction to her had been there since the beginning, though he had not planned to act on those feelings. He desperately hoped that it wasn't just the whiskey speaking, that she wasn't going to regret what they had done. He was brought out of his reverie by Scully turning around to face him, a contented sigh escaping her lips. He leaned down, and brought his mouth to hers, placing a chaste kiss on her lips. They were soft and inviting, and when he probed a little more with his tongue, her mouth gently opened, granting him access. She was soft, and wet and tasted so good. Whiskey, and something else, that was just how she should taste, a decidedly unique taste that was just Scully. After several seconds, her tongue pushed into his mouth and he lost it, moving her on to her back and settling himself, and his renewed arousal, firmly between her legs. Several false starts later, he managed to find his target and gently thrust into her, making her break the kiss and moan with pleasure. Slow and steady, he made love to her, the way he had always dreamed of when he allowed those thoughts to surface. Only after he made her come twice did he allow himself the same release. Exhausted and completely satisfied, he gathered her up into his arms and fell into a contented sleep. ****** The second time had been slow and so sweet and, when she was able to gather her thoughts in some semblance of rational order, so very wrong. Both times. Wrong. Her mouth was dry, and a headache was just threatening. It was cool where she sat by the window, her legs pulled tight against her, the moon's light casting a bluish tinge where it touched the room. The sky was clear and she could make out some of the brighter stars, their brilliance only slightly hindered by the city lights. What had she been thinking? Going to a bar to pick up a complete stranger was somewhat less stupid than screwing one's work partner. Okay, they were equally stupid. She knew better. This had Jack and Daniel written all over it. Sort of. She wasn't drunk when she landed in bed with Jack, couldn't remember with Daniel though. Might have been. Didn't matter. Daniel was stupid in other ways that made up for it. She cast a glance back at the figure sleeping in her bed and a shudder went through her body. The sex had been good. Really good. She pulled herself in tighter and found herself casting a silly, childish wish towards the North Star. "Scully?" Her answer was a loud, long sigh. He could see her reflection in the window and with a pang realized what he saw in her face was regret. "I'm sorry, Mulder." "You're sorry?" She waved her hand in the air. "You. Me. Sex. Work partners. I said I wouldn't do this again, and here I am." It was if a cool breeze blew threw the room. He had no response for her. He could remember making the same vow himself. "It was stupid, reckless. I don't know what I was thinking, going to the Elbow like that." "I think you weren't. You know, thinking." She could see him groping for his boxers; saw his face the moment he remembered where they had been left, the faint blush evident even in the pale light. She watched him pull the sheet free and wrap it around his body. In the window, their eyes met. "It doesn't have to mean anything Scully." "It doesn't or it can't?" He tentatively laid a hand on her shoulder. "Can't?" She cleared her throat. "I don't make it a habit, despite what you may have heard, to screw my colleagues." He winced slightly. "I haven't heard anything." Her laugh was low and tinged with bitterness. "You hear everything Mulder." "Scully, I don't think any less of you." "That's a good line." "It's not a line. Look, would you rather it had been one of those tight ass college boys?" He tamped down his frustration. "Is that what this is? You know, it may have been a while for me, but I don't think it was all that bad." "Oh Mulder, it's not that." She blushed. "It was very good. I actually got," she looked back to the clock sitting beside the bed, "six hours sleep." And three orgasms she added silently. "I haven't had six hours all week, let alone in one night." "I'm hoping that was a compliment." She laughed softly as she turned around in the chair forcing him to step back, allowing her space. "Mulder, I was desperate. And I can always sleep after sex. I'm just sorry I used you like that." "Hey," he knelt before her, one hand on her shoulder, the other caressing her hair. "You didn't use me. I had a pretty good idea why you were at the bar, though I didn't know the reasons behind it." "How did you know where I was?" "Teddy." "Oh." "We have some history. He looks out for some of the women who come in, and for me. So, that naturally extends to you." "Naturally." There was only a little bit of sarcasm and Mulder knew it wasn't intentional. Scully was like a wounded animal, licking her wounds, fluffing her feathers and reinforcing the walls. Mulder knew he needed to fix this quick or the damage would take a long time to heal. He bent forward and brushed his lips over hers. It was a soft, chaste kiss, meant to reassure, not arouse. He did it again and then his finger was there, over her lips, asking for silence. "I won't say something silly and false, or declare undying love. I do respect you Scully. Sometimes I think respect counts for more than love in a relationship. You're my friend. I'd say you're my best friend. I'm not sorry we made love. It was great. I'm not sorry you got some sleep, though I wish you had trusted me, told me sooner what was going on with you. Maybe I could have helped and you wouldn't have been at Teddy's tonight. But what's done is done. We don't have to speak about it again. I'm willing to put it behind us and move on. If that's what you want," He added hastily. She blinked back the tears that were hovering. He always seemed to know just what to say. She brought her hand up to cover his. "I'm not sure what I need right now, probably some space. I don't want you to think I'm pushing you away, but I don't think continuing any of this --" her hand swept the air, encompassing the bed and both of them, "us sleeping together would be the wisest move. Again, I mean, to do it again. I don't think we should do it again." She smiled at his attempt to look sad and pitiful. "That won't work with me." "Oh, I think I know what does and doesn't work." She blushed at what he was implying. "Look, I have to be at my mom's in a few hours --" "And you could use some more sleep." He interrupted. "Just sleep. I think we can manage that." He opened his arms and she allowed herself to be lifted from the chair, onto her feet. "And later on, when you're ready, we can deal with the other things. With Boggs and your dad." "Do you believe me?" He pulled her close to him, feeling her body's stiffness give way when she realized he'd kept the sheet wrapped around him. "You're asking me if I believe you? Scully," he bent close to her ear, "I'm the believer, remember? I should be asking you that question." She held a shudder in check as his hot breath caressed her ear. In light of her body's reaction to him, this didn't seem the wisest of moves, but it had been so long since she had been held, safe and secure, in the warmth of a man's arms. She trusted him like she had no other man. Even Daniel, with whom she'd considered spending her life, had been held at arms length. The bond she shared with Mulder defied the short time they had been together. She knew it was the experiences they shared that had forged it. "Hey." He pulled her in closer still, tucking her head under his chin. "Stop thinking." She could feel his lips on her head, certain he was kissing her. It would be too easy to allow this man in, too easy to grant him access to her heart, to read more into the situation than she should. Gently, with care to keep her movements from seeing harsh, she pulled back. "I think it would be a good idea if you went home." She kept her eyes down, knowing the hurt her words would cause, allowing him the chance to tuck it away, to save face. It was something they had both begun to do, perhaps too well. "You might be right." Their eyes met, and then Mulder was heading out to the living room to retrieve his clothes. She sat back down, listening to the sounds of him getting dressed; waiting until she was sure he was almost ready to leave before venturing out. It felt awkward. How does one say good-bye to a work partner after spending the night together? See you on Monday? Oh and by the way, thanks for the great sex? She wasn't sure Miss Manners had a section in her business etiquette section for this one. "Scully?" She startled a bit at his voice, realizing he had been standing at the door ready to leave. She wasn't sure how long he'd been calling her, but by the look on his face, it was more than once. "Are you sure you'll be okay?" "Yeah, I'll be fine. I just need some time." "Okay." Still, he hesitated, the door partway open. She was surprised when he suddenly turned back around and crossed the short distance to where she was standing. In one smooth, quick motion he pulled her close and kissed her, moving back to the door just as suddenly. He shot her a rather cheeky grin as he left, closing the door behind him. Taken aback, Scully watched the door for a few moments, convinced he was going to come back in and offer some sort of an explanation for that kiss. It wasn't quite an innocent peck either. There had defiantly been a hint of tongue. She pressed her legs together, defying her body's reaction to him. This would not do. She was going to have to be the stronger of the two. She was used to hiding behind her walls, and it was time to reinforce them. Locking the door, she was turned to go back to her bedroom when she noticed his gray t-shirt poking out from under the couch. He must've just thrown his shirt on without noticing it missing. She shed her robe and pulled it over her head, pausing to breathe in his scent. She was defiantly going to need those reinforcements.