TITLE: Nothing Apart
AUTHOR: Dyann Zimmerman
CATEGORY: Post episode (Orison); MSR; RST SPOILERS: Orison
RATING: R, maybe NC-17 to some Pax channel watchers.
ARCHIVE: Go for it.
SUMMARY: What happened after the events in 'Orison'.
DISCLAIMERS: Please sue me.  I would love my 15 minutes.
NOTE: For the sake of this story, Mulder and Scully are already
together, but no one knows it...yet.
FEEDBACK: Welcomed at philer@onemain.com


DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN, DC
5:43am

Mulder watched the crime scene crew busy themselves around Scully's
apartment, acting no differently than they do when processing any
other crime scene, but their routine actions now seeming somehow
calloused and inconsiderate to him.  Finally, he heard the bathroom
door open, Scully appearing with a blanket draped over her shoulders,
her body moving heavily, sadly, he thought, as she shuffled down the
hall to her bedroom.  The sight of her still in her pajamas after all
these hours tore at him as he excused himself to the investigators to
follow her to her bedroom.

Scully's back was to him, her small frame no more than a silhouette
against the dawn's first light filtering through her bedroom window.
"If you wanna pack some things, we can get out of here," Mulder told
her, his matter-of-factness his way of keeping himself on balance. She
tossed the blanket covering her to the bed as she looked at him, only
glancing before she turned toward her dresser to do as he'd suggested.  
When she opened her dresser drawer, Mulder moving to stand next to
her, she found her Bible that she knew hadn't been placed in the
drawer by her.  She held it for a moment, the movement of her eyes
from the book to meet his telling him everything she felt with one
look.  "You can't judge yourself..." he said to her knowingly.

Scully gave him a derisive sigh, telling him with that one breath that
that was exactly what she had been doing since she had fired the shot
that had placed Donnie Pfaster's dead body in her living room.  She
moved back, lifting herself to sit on the edge of her bed, her Bible
still in her hand, her eyes unable to meet his.  "Maybe I don't have
to," she said quietly, her eyes staying fixed to the book in her
hands, feeling full well that she would be judged, ultimately, for
what she had done.

"The Bible allows for vengeance," Mulder said to her, his gaze never
leaving her, Scully still unable to look at him.

"But the law doesn't," she said, finally looking directly at him, her
eyes almost challenging him to disagree.

Mulder leaned down to her eye level, his hand resting gently on her
thigh.  "The way I see it... he didn't give you a choice," he said
softly to her, the fear in her eyes striking him as almost childlike.  
"And my report will reflect that... in case you're worried."  She
closed her eyes, shaking her head softly, her absolute regret that
Mulder would have to falsify a report for her evident in her every
move. "Donnie Pfaster would've surely killed again if given the
chance," Mulder continued, his voice determinedly reassuring, his hand
softly, unconsciously, smoothing against her thigh.

"He was evil, Mulder," Scully said, as convinced of that as of
anything ever in her life.  "I'm sure about that without a doubt," she
said, her eyes gazing at nothing, her mind unable to focus on anything
at that moment except her thoughts of her attacker. She hesitated
before continuing, her voice beginning to falter.  "But there's one
thing I'm not sure of..."

"What's that?" Mulder responded quietly, knowing she needed to tell
him.

"Who was at work in me... or what..." she struggled, only able to give
him a glance as she spoke, her voice becoming softer. "...what made
me... what made me pull the trigger," she finished, swallowing hard as
her chin began to quiver.

"You mean, what if it was God?" Mulder asked softly, almost
tentatively, wanting so badly to say the right thing.

Scully looked at him, her inner turmoil achingly present in the blue
of her eyes.  "I mean... what if it wasn't?" she finished, finally
looking up at him again to meet his eyes, hoping to find the
reassurance she needed.

Mulder sat down on the bed next to her, reaching to gather her into
his arms, bending to give her a soft, lingering kiss on her trembling
lips.  She momentarily relaxed into him, and then realized that she
shouldn't. "Mulder, don't..." Scully said softly as she moved away
from him, standing from the bed. "Not here.  They're probably already
suspicious of your story as it is.  They don't need to see us like
that."  Mulder nodded, knowing she was right, looking toward the door
to the hallway to reassure himself that it was still closed.  What he
didn't see was the door to the bathroom that was slightly ajar or the
detective who had just witnessed their interchange.

FOX MULDER'S APARTMENT
ARLINGTON, VA
Three hours later

They had been able to get things together and leave Scully's apartment
within an hour or so, Mulder taking care of the investigators, Scully
getting packed and finally changing out of her pajamas, surrendering
them as potential evidence.  Mulder had argued when they had wanted to
photograph the injuries on Scully's body, but Scully had agreed,
knowing that proof of her injuries may be needed for the
investigation.  The police had sealed the apartment as a crime scene,
so Mulder and Scully knew she wouldn't be able to get back in for
several days, at a minimum.

"You want something to eat?" Mulder asked her on the way to his
apartment, reaching over to grasp her hand as it rested in her lap.

"Yeah... but let's order something in.  I don't want to go in
anywhere," she said, knowing Mulder would know why.  And he did,
glancing over to her, seeing that her lip was swelling and the
abrasion on her cheek was starting to bruise.

After they had gotten Scully's bags into the apartment, she hadn't
said much to him, simply taking her small case into the bathroom and
closing the door. He didn't follow her, knowing Scully and knowing she
needed some time alone.  He laid her other bag on the bed and went to
the kitchen in search of something that might be acceptable to eat.

Mulder had scrounged up some eggs and cheese and was able to make
enough juice from the concentrate that was remaining in the carton
he'd only taken a couple of frozen spoonfuls from.  He hadn't
remembered doing that, but knew the orange mixture wasn't more than a
few weeks old.  "Why didn't you just order out?" Scully said as she
entered his kitchen, still toweling her hair dry.

"I don't know.  Just felt like cooking you something," he said,
turning to see her, his heart suddenly lurching into his throat.  She
looked almost frail in her small t-shirt and overly worn jeans, her
bare feet softly squeaking against the tile of the kitchen floor as
she approached. Her face was streaked with the redness only crying
could cause and she was trying to hide it by continuing to rub at her
hair with the towel, obviously avoiding his eye contact.  "I, uh,
how's an omelet sound?" he said, whipping the eggs beyond what they
needed, allowing her to think he hadn't noticed she'd been crying.
Scully had rushed through her shower, finishing faster than she
probably ever had, but finding herself almost reaching a panic to
hurry and get out of the confines of the stall.  She laid the towel on
the counter, stroking her fingers through her hair to smooth it down a
bit as she moved over next to him.  "I think they're beaten well
enough..." she told him, Mulder realizing by the tone in her voice
that she realized he was nervous.  "Can we still do scrambled?" she
asked finally looking up at him, both realizing that their
conversation actually had very little to do with the eggs. "We can
still do anything, Scully..." Mulder said, pouring the over-whipped
eggs into a hot skillet as Scully moved next to him, putting her arm
around his waist, leaning into him.  He bent to kiss her wet hair, his
small gesture telling her they'd be alright. "Go ahead and hit the
couch, Scully.  I'll bring it to 'ya," he said, reaching around her to
give her a soft squeeze, feeling how tired, yet tense, her body was.
Scully just leaned into him further, reaching to put a few small
pieces of cheese in the egg mixture Mulder continued to work on. "I'll
stay in here with you," she said softly, trying not to sound too
needy. "Wouldn't want my eggs over-cooked..." Mulder considered her--
how she almost drew into him as she leaned against him; her feigned
interest in how he cooked a skillet full of insignificant eggs.  He
knew better. "You want toast?" he asked, moving to scoop the mounded
yellow mixture from the pan to two plain white plates.  "No, but I'll
make you some," she answered, already popping two pieces of wheat
bread into Mulder's small utilitarian toaster. They finished preparing
their food and settled onto the couch, their late breakfast on the
coffee table, Mulder flipping the television on with the remote. He
hadn't had it on in several days, and it had been tuned to CNN, so he
left it there and they half paid attention to a story about a Memphis
preacher who had bilked his own mother out of her life savings.  As
Mulder stuffed another overloaded fork full of eggs into his mouth,
the evangelist story faded into a 'this just in'--- a shooting in
Washington, DC. Mulder nearly dropped his fork fumbling to grab the
remote to change the channel.  But before he could-- "Leave it on,
Mulder.  I want to hear what they're saying," Scully said calmly, not
even glancing in his direction. *A man who escaped from a Marion,
Illinois federal prison three days ago was killed by an off- duty FBI
agent in the Georgetown section of Washington, DC early this morning.  
Donald Addie Pfaster, convicted in 1995 of the homicide of three
women, had reportedly entered the apartment of Dana Scully, a Special
Agent with---*

Mulder picked up the remote again, aiming it toward the television and
running the channel up to ESPN without a second look at Scully.
"Mulder, I want to hear what the press is saying," Scully said, taking
the remote from him, returning to CNN as she leaned back into the
couch, her eggs going uneaten. "This isn't going away just because you
change the channel." He didn't address her words or, for that matter,
look at her, but simply stood and left the room, closing the door
softly as he retreated to his bedroom.

Scully tried to attend to the CNN report, wanting very much to hear
what others were saying about what had happened in her apartment only
several hours earlier, trying to put Mulder's retreat in the back of
her mind for the moment.  The reporter droned on about Pfaster's
record before turning to shove his microphone into the face of a DC
policeman.

*'What can you tell us about what happened, Detective?' the reporter
hurried as the officer almost walked away from him.  'We are still
investigating all of the circumstances surrounding this shooting.  
The Department will have an official statement later this afternoon,'
he finished.  'What about the FBI's view on this?'* the reporter
yelled toward him to no avail, then giving up and signing off with
Scully learning no more than she had known a few minutes ago. All she
really knew now was that she was tired and scared and she was sitting
on the couch alone and Mulder was in the bedroom not making a sound.

When Scully opened his bedroom door, the room was almost dark except
for a small filtering of sun sneaking in between the blinds. Mulder
was lying on the spread of his bed, one arm draped over his pillow
behind his head, the other lying across his stomach.  He seemed to be
asleep.  She stopped beside the bed, thinking only a second before
climbing onto the bed, lying down next to him, but not touching him.  
She didn't say anything, didn't really even look at him, suddenly
feeling so tired she didn't think she could think another thought.

"You ready to talk to me?" his baritone jumped out of the dark, almost
startling her.

"It isn't that I'm not ready, Mulder... I just don't know what to
say," she said, truly unable to sort her feelings, let alone put them
into words.

"How about just telling me what you're thinking," he said, finally
turning on his side to look at her, a look she returned. His gaze was
much softer than she expected it to be.  And more sad.

"Literally?"

"I asked, didn't I?"

"I'm thinking that I want you to hold me so badly I can barely
breathe..."

Mulder didn't hesitate.  He moved to put his arms around her, pulling
her to him, her body almost lying on top of him as she laid her head
against his chest. "Mulder, I'm just so tired..."

"Then sleep, Scully.  Sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Yeah, so will everything else..."

FOX MULDER'S APARTMENT
ARLINGTON, VA
One hour later

Mulder figured Scully had virtually been asleep when her last words
had come out of her mouth.  He had heard her cell phone ringing
somewhere in the living room only about 10 minutes after she had
fallen asleep, so he sneaked out from under her, leaving her on her
stomach to sleep.  The call had been from Skinner, wanting them in his
office at 1:00; Mulder had coaxed him into waiting until 3:00 to give
Scully a bit more time to rest.

The call hadn't awakened her, Mulder covering her with a soft blanket
when he went in to check on her.  He knew she was feeling many more
and much deeper feelings than she was expressing to him, but he didn't
really know what to do either.  Since they had become intimate, they
had gradually been doing better about discussing their feelings with
each other, actually making a concerted effort to talk, not keep
things inside for the other to only guess about.

Almost immediately after they had gotten together physically, they had
communicated well on that level, the usual awkwardness that new
physical intimacy always brings had barely been present between them.  
Other than a few nose bumps or a stray limb in the wrong place, their
lovemaking had been near pure bliss from the start.  And they talked
afterward, sometimes for hours, barely able to stay awake, but both
recognizing that this was a time that they both truly felt comfortable
in sharing their thoughts and feelings as well as their bodies.

But, outside the dozen or so times they had shared a bed, they seemed
to resort to being the same old Mulder and Scully; feeling so much,
but saying so little.  He wanted that to change, or at least he
thought he did. And he knew Scully needed to talk; they needed to
talk.  He knew they would be questioned further by Skinner at their
meeting later and, regrettably, he knew they had to get their versions
of the events in line.

When Mulder had gone back into the bedroom to check on her, Scully was
awake, still lying on her back, nothing moving except her eyes as she
watched him enter the room.  "Where've you been?  You said you'd be
here when I woke up..." she said, the corners of her mouth slipping
into a soft smile.  Mulder lifted the blanket covering her and slid
quickly in next to her, snuggling close to her.

"I'm here.  I'm here..." he answered, moving his arms around her,
pulling her close. "Feel better?" he asked as he held her, his hand
smoothing up and down her arm.

"Yeah... I do now," she replied, giving him another smile as she
looked up at him.  "Was I out long?"

"Not too long, maybe an hour or so.  You can sleep a little longer if
you want, Scully," he said, giving her a quick kiss on her nose.

"Mmmmm, no," she drowsily answered, stretching her body against him,
then relaxing again, snuggling into him, her head on his shoulder, her
leg moving lazily over his.  "What've you been doing while I was being
lazy?"

"Talking to Skinner," Mulder said, looking to her to gauge her
reaction.

Scully sat up suddenly, propping herself up on her elbow to look at
him.  "About what?"

"He called.  He wants to see us at three..." Mulder told her, trying
to keep any inflection of concern from his voice.  Scully returned to
lie down on her back away from him, her resigned sigh resonating in
the sudden still of the bedroom.  "I, uh, we need to talk, Scully."

"Mulder..."

"I just mean we need to present a united front; to be clear on how we
are presenting this," he explained, trying not to make the situation
appear as colluded as it actually could.

"Mulder, we've already presented what happened to the DC police. What
happened happened," she said resignedly.

"And I truly know that, Scully. It's just the sequence of the events
that we've 'filtered' for the official record.  Had I arrived only
seconds later, things could've been tragically different," he
responded, sitting up to look at her still reclining on the bed.  
"Best case scenario, the bottom line would've been exactly the same---
and whether it was before I entered your apartment or just after,
Pfaster would've been dead.  If you hadn't shot him, I would have.  
And better him than you, or someone else."

"That's the way you see it?" she asked softly, hoping he wasn't just
saying those words to make her feel less guilty.

Mulder bent to give her a soft kiss on the lips.  "That's the way I
see it.  What happened was not within your control, Scully. I know
that with every piece of my being." He could see the deep need for
reassurance in her eyes, despite the dimness of the room. They had yet
to say they loved each other; they knew it, but neither had actually
uttered the words.  He felt an overwhelming need to tell her at that
moment, but knew there could possibly be no worse time. He didn't want
something so important forever associated with the events of the last
twentyfour hours.

Scully smiled at him, a tear finally falling over her eyelid to slip
down her face into her hair, dropping onto the pillow case. "Thank
you..."  She reached for him and he allowed her to pull him to her,
their lips meeting in a soft kiss that soon intensified. He lay over
her, his left hand beginning to softly caress her right breast, his
leg moving between hers.

Mulder knew where what they were doing was going, even had a guess why
Scully was trying to take it there.  "Scully, are you sure you want
this to happen right now?" he said, backing off, his breathing almost
a pant.

"Yes... I need this... you; THIS is the way I need you right now. I
need to feel something besides fear and... and... numbness, Mulder.
I...," she stuttered, her voice hitching, unable to totally explain
what she needed from him without sounding selfish, even to her own
ears.  "I just need to... be somewhere else for awhile; even if it's
only temporary." Mulder gave her a small wistful smile, still not sure
sex would be the best thing at that moment, but knowing that she felt
it would be.

"I'll give you anything you need, Scully. Anything.  I hope you know
that," he told her softly.

"I do.  God, Mulder, I do know that and if I didn't I couldn't have
made it through this day," she told him, tears flowing freely now.
Mulder wiped them from one cheek with his thumb, bending to kiss them
from the other.

Clothes were discarded and they had moved under the sheet, it only
covering the lower half of their bodies.  "Just lay back and let me
make you feel better, Scully," he said as he kissed down her neck, his
tongue licking along her collarbone.  She felt the timbre of his voice
vibrate against her skin, gooseflesh spreading over her body within
seconds.

"God, Mulder..." she sighed.

"What?" he asked, his mouth having found the underside of her breast,
his hand still working on her other one.

"I wish I could express to you just how much you turn me on," she
whispered, not expecting the reaction she got from him--- Mulder
laughed, moving up to look at her as if to check to see if she was
kidding.  "I also wish that didn't come as such a surprise to you."

"Well, it does.  I figure what you're feeling has more to do with what
I'm doing to you," he said, kissing her chin.

"Mulder, I've done this a time or two before, you know," she told him,
kissing him softly between words.  "And you can trust me when I tell
you that no one has ever made me feel the way you do... not even
close."

Mulder looked at her for a few long seconds before nodding, kissing
her before moving his mouth back to her nipple, his hips moving
against her thigh. He began to kiss down her stomach, moving to her
abdomen, his hand stroking her thigh.  She could feel his thumb
getting closer and closer to the juncture of her hip, brushing against
her pubic hair.  He kissed her other thigh, then again just above her
auburn vee before he opened her labia, the womanly scent of her
arousal almost getting the best of him.  Suddenly he kissed her there;
kissed her as if he was kissing her on her mouth.  Her hips bucked and
she moaned a moan that literally made him shudder, his train of
thought floating somewhere into his nether region.

"Mulder, come up here," he heard her say, but only when she'd said it
a second time.  He moved up over her, the arousal, the love reflected
in her expression something that he never thought someone would have
in response to him.  Sex had always just been sex.  What they had was
something on a whole other plane.  Scully kissed him softly, bringing
his thoughts back to her.  "I want to be together..."  He knew what
she meant, what she needed and moved to enter her.

As soon as he did, Scully closed her eyes, the merging of her emotions
and her physical feelings combining to make her feel as if she were
floating, almost separate from her actual corporeal self.  She felt
more complete and loved than she ever had at any one moment in her
life.  An epiphany, she thought; one single moment in her life that
she would never forget. Why this time, she didn't know.  But it was a
moment that was only theirs.

It took them a little while to get a rhythm going, Scully a bit
further along than Mulder and it took him a few moments to recognize
that.  He balanced himself on his elbow and slipped his other hand
under her, trying to push her undulating bottom closer to him, pushing
against her harder.  She lifted a leg up, over his hip, hoping this
would open her to him, to take her where she wanted, needed to go.

Mulder could feel her getting closer to climax, felt her abdominal
muscles tighten, the pitch of her sounds getting higher as her breath
quickened. "Mulder...  uhhhhhhh, Goddddddd, Muld...." she moaned, her
movements under him coming to a halt as she flew over the edge, her
muscles stiffening, her toes literally curling.  She never yelled his
name or screamed or did any other of the stereotypical behavior he'd
learned to expect from women during orgasm.  She said nothing, made no
sounds and didn't even breathe until she was on the downside.  She'd
simply hold onto him for dear life as her inner muscles pulsated and
spasmed and her hips shuddered. Then she'd let out the breath she had
been holding with his name generally discernable within it.
"Nnnnnnnnnn, Mulder," she breathed.

"Okay now?" Mulder asked into her ear, feeling her nod against the
side of his face. He began to move again, picking up on his rhythm
where he'd left off, kissing her now that she had her breathing under
a bit of control. Scully felt his pace quickening, becoming erratic,
her body still trying to keep up but mostly in vain.  He began saying
her name, almost chanting it, his release imminent.

And then he lost it, emptying into her in several hard thrusts, his
mind unable to hear what she was trying to say to him, close to his
ear as his head was buried into her neck. Scully petted his hair, the
back of his neck, running her other hand over his back, rubbing his
perspiration into his tingling skin.  She held him, his weight on top
of her the most comforting, reassuring feeling she could have had.  
He moved off of her, holding her to him as he rolled to his back.  "I
need you so much, Mulder...  I couldn't go on if I didn't have you,"
she whispered into his ear.

Mulder lifted her chin, asking her with his eyes why she would ever
say such a thing, knowing in his heart that she would always have him.  
"I'm so scared..." she finally admitted, Mulder realizing why she had
seemed so desperate, never remembering a time when he had seen such
fear in her eyes.

OFFICE OF WALTER SKINNER
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
3:25pm

"So, Agent Mulder, you stand by your statement as you made it to the
DC Police?" Skinner asked matter-of-factly, looking at him directly.

"Of course, Sir," Mulder answered, just as unemotional.

"And you concur, Agent Scully?" Skinner asked, this time not looking
up from his copies of their statements.

"You have my statement, Sir," she said evasively.

"Well, then, we have a problem," Skinner said, taking off his glasses
and looking toward them both sitting across from him in an oh-so
familiar pose.  "I have a DC Detective telling me that he heard
something that I'm not sure you two knew was being overheard..." he
said, looking to them for their reactions. But Mulder and Scully just
sat there, their ability to camouflage their emotions comparable to
anyone in the universe.

"And what is this Detective saying he overheard?" Mulder said
mockingly.

"That you, Agent Mulder, were reassuring Agent Scully that you would
insure in your report that this was a good shoot..."

"Then he musta misunderstood or he's reading something into what I
said that he wants to hear," Mulder said discountedly.

"And why would he want to do that, Mulder?" Skinner sighed.

"The DC Police don't exactly love the FBI, Sir.  They think we're a
bunch of overeducated bores; they'd like to hang anything on any one
of us--You know that," Mulder said, stopping himself before it began
to appear he was too concerned... or protesting too much.

Skinner thought about Mulder's statement for a few moments, knowing
Mulder was right, but still, somehow feeling he was stepping around
something. Skinner stood and moved around the front of his desk,
carefully slipping his glasses back on.  He looked at Scully, who
continued to sit there stoically, not saying a word, either with her
voice or with the language of her body.

It would've been obvious to anyone that Skinner had become more
uncomfortable and was thinking hard before speaking. "I regret having
to ask this..." he started.  "Are you two involved outside of work?"
he finished point blank.

Mulder started to answer, his hackles very obviously up, but Scully
quickly laid a hand over his forearm as it rested on the arm of his
chair next to her. "What would any answer to that question have to do
with this situation, Sir?" she asked calmly.

"This same Detective thinks that the events in your apartment didn't
exactly happen the way you both said they did.  He thinks Mulder is
covering for you because you two are... um, more than partners,"
Skinner said, returning to his desk chair.  "He says he has
evidence..."

"Well, then, let him present it," Mulder said, standing, very
obviously signaling his end to the meeting.

Scully didn't stand, but simply watched Mulder leave the room before
finally looking up at the man standing before her.  "Sir, the less you
know, the better. Okay?" she said.

"Play it as you must, Scully, but there'll be an OPR investigation...
at the least," Skinner told her sincerely.  She nodded slowly, then
stood and followed Mulder out the door.

FOX MULDER'S APARTMENT
ARLINGTON, VA
Later that evening

Scully had, of course, been placed on administrative leave until the
shooting could be fully investigated, standard procedure for any agent
who had fired their weapon.  She and Mulder had returned to his
apartment, hers still sealed by the DC police. She didn't have much in
the way of clothes with her, but since she wouldn't be working for a
while, she really didn't care.

Mulder had gone to run a few errands, get some food and a few things
for her, giving her some time alone to call her mother in San Diego.  
The initial report of the shooting had made the national news and
Mulder had almost given Scully a direct order to call her mother,
fearing she might hear it on TV.

When Mulder returned, he found his apartment unlit and eerily quiet.  
"Scully?" he called into the silence of the darkness as he set his
bags on the table.

"In here," he heard her call coming from his bedroom.  He found her
lying on his bed on top of the covers, dressed in her robe.

Mulder sat down on the edge of the bed, studying her expression before
reaching for her hand. "Napping?" he said quietly, but knowing she
hadn't been.  Scully turned her gaze from the ceiling to look at him,
giving him a soft smile.

"No, just lying here... trying to make some sense of all of this," she
told him.  "And not having much success, I'm afraid."

Mulder looked at her, wanting to tell her to stop analyzing things,
but he thought better of it and changed the subject.  "I brought
goodies to eat," he said, giving her a goofy grin as he left the
bedroom, turning on the light before he did.  Mulder was in the
kitchen for several minutes before she joined him, Scully in only her
robe, Mulder still dressed in his dress shirt and tie.

"Let me fix something, Mulder. Go take a shower and change if you
want," she said, standing on her tiptoes to see into the tops of the
paper grocery bags now sitting on the kitchen counter. He moved over
behind her, sliding one hand around her waist, putting the other one
in a sack... searching.  She allowed herself to lean back against him,
a smile making it to her face as she realized he had something special
for her.

Finally, he pulled out a small box of Godiva chocolates, presenting it
to her as he kissed her temple.  "Not the best, but not bad for a
quick run to Cusamano's market," he whispered into her ear.  "Indulge
yourself."  Scully took the box and turned in his arms, giving him a
firm hug.

"Thank you," she said, moving up to give him a slow, soft kiss.
"They're the best as far as I'm concerned," she told him, her eyes
telling him she knew what his gesture meant. "Now, go," she finished,
smacking him on the behind.  "I'll surprise you with something...
well, better than mediocre."  Mulder smiled; bent to give her a quick
kiss and left to go try to wash away the day's grime.

FOX MULDER'S APARTMENT
ARLINGTON, VA
Three days later, 6:58pm

When Mulder arrived home to his apartment, he found Scully lying on
the couch in her pajamas; the TV on but the volume turned so low that
he could barely hear it. "Already dressed for bed, Scully?" Mulder
asked, removing his jacket and loosening his tie. Actually, he knew
that she hadn't just recently put on her pajamas, but had actually had
the same pair on that morning before he had left for work.

Scully sat up and didn't look at him as she reached for the remote and
turned off the television. The room was lit only by a small lamp on
his desk, but he could see the tired, sad look in her eyes and
immediately regretted his sarcastic remark.  "Sit down, Mulder,"
Scully asked, still not looking at him.  Mulder tossed his jacket over
the back of a chair and sat down close to her, their thighs and
shoulders touching.  "I, uh..., I'm not sure where to start here,
Mulder, but I need to talk to you."

"Scully, I've been so worried about you..." he sighed, relieved that,
maybe, finally, she was going to open up about her feelings.  She
hadn't been out of his apartment since they had arrived after their
meeting with Skinner the afternoon of the shooting, and after the
second day, hadn't been out of her pajamas. Her mood had become
progressively quieter, her feelings being internalized to the point
that she seemed to be operating in an emotionless haze. Her apartment
had been cleared for her to move back into earlier in the day, but she
had not wanted to leave his apartment. "Talk to me..." he asked
softly.

"I don't know if I can keep up with... I don't know if I can continue
to lie," she said to the floor.  Mulder suddenly stood up, his hands
on his hips as he looked at her intently with every thing he had.

"Scully, you are not lying.  You are not telling a lie," he said
firmly to her, yet his voice reflected an underlying fear. "Scully, do
you even remember the gun going off?  Do you?"

Scully continued to look down, unable to make eye contact, despite her
need to do so. "I... I don't know..." she said quietly. "It's as if
the gun just fired... I remember that, but I don't remember
consciously pulling the trigger..." she said, leaning her forehead
against her hand.  Mulder's anger melted as he watched her, never
seeing her so fragile or defeated.  He sat down again next to her and
held her to him and scooted back to lean against the cushion of the
couch, pulling her closer to him, his arms enveloping her.

"Then maybe you didn't, Scully. Maybe you didn't pull the trigger," he
told her faintly.

Scully moved back to look at him, "Are you telling me *you* think it
was God?" she asked him, stunned that that was what he might be
insinuating.

"What I'm saying is that the Dana Scully I know would have never
willingly, deliberately killed anyone, no matter who they were... or
what," his voice almost a whisper.  "If you want to call it God and if
I want to call it a subconscious force and we explain it to them as
self- defense, then so be it.  You didn't deliberately kill Pfaster,
Scully. You didn't," he continued softly. "Scully, he was a murderer.  
He humiliated and tortured people... and then he killed them," Mulder
said to her, leaning further toward her to look at her intently.  
"All as part of an afternoon of sick fun, Scully. And he damned near
did it to you."  Scully nodded at him, her eyes resuming their view of
the floor.  "Had you not been a trained agent, you would be lying in
the morgue right now..."

"Mulder..." she began, turning to look at him and reaching to hold his
hand between the two of hers. "I think... that... for some reason,
Orison enabled Pfaster's release from prison. For some reason, Pfaster
brought himself to me but didn't kill me when he had the chance.  And
for some reason, you heard that song again that led you to my
apartment. I know that all of the events led to the point where he was
killed by my gun.  For some reason, I think we were where we were
supposed to be so that what happened to Pfaster would happen..."

"I think so, Scully," he said softly as he leaned over her, hoping
that she truly believed what she was saying to him.  "And I think it
had to end there.  If not, he would've killed you and, as I said,
surely have gone on to kill others.  I have no doubts."

"But Mulder, we are colluding in presenting a false testimony to what
actually happened.  I don't know if I can continue with that. It goes
against everything I have ever believed in," she said, looking at him,
her eyes as desperate as he'd ever seen them.

"Goddammit, Scully!" he said, moving away from her and off the couch.  
"Do you want to try to explain to the DC Police or the FBI for that
matter, that you and I feel there was something else at work in you
that made you pull the trigger to your gun?!  Yeah, that'll go over
about as well as the rest of my theories..." Mulder said
sarcastically. He calmed a bit and moved back onto the couch to
continue. "Scully, our story is simply a means to an end.  We have to
explain what happened to them in terms they'll understand. They
understand that you pulled the trigger before I got into the room.  
You and I may understand that there were other forces at work that
recognized Donnie Pfaster as the personification of pure evil, but
*they* won't," he pleaded.  "You could go to prison, Scully...  Hell,
we could both go to prison," Mulder finally saying the words.  "And
Pfaster would've surely gotten the death penalty this time.  So his
ultimate reward came sooner than later, that's all."

"It isn't that simple, Mulder," Scully said resignedly.

"Nothing is that simple, Scully. Especially where we're concerned,"
Mulder finished, moving next to Scully to again gather her in his
arms, before bending to give her a soft kiss on the lips.

"I need to make some peace with this, Mulder. I have to decide what
I'm going to do.  The hearing will be scheduled sometime and I can't
present myself the way I am now..." she said, glancing down at her
uncharacteristically disheveled appearance.

"The OPR hearing has been scheduled, Scully. It's set for day after
tomorrow..."  Mulder expected more of a reaction from her, he guessed,
and she gave him nothing more than a slow nod of her head.  Mulder
rubbed his hand slowly over her back, trying to sooth some of the
emotions he knew she was feeling.  "Why don't you go take a nice long
bath and I'll order something in."

Finally, she smiled at him, giving him a quick kiss before answering.  
"Are you insinuating that I'm getting a bit rank, Mulder?" she quietly
teased, squeezing his hand with affection.

"Well... no, I wasn't.  But if it'll get you into that tub to relax
then I'll let you think you're stinkin' to high heaven," he smiled to
her.

Scully looked at him for several long moments, a thoughtful smile
forming on her face.  "I... thanks for supporting me, Mulder."

"Always... no matter what."


DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN, DC
The next day

After Mulder had been given the word that Scully's apartment had been
released, he had called a service to clean everything and had gone by
her place himself to make sure everything was as straightened as it
needed to be.  He had thrown all of her candles in a trash bag and had
pitched them in the dumpster on his way back to his car.  The pieces
of her broken keepsakes had been put in a box by the cleaning service
for him to go through, but he had put the box in the trunk of his car
to wait for a better time for her to do it herself.  Everything looked
fairly orderly, except for the dresser still needing a mirror and the
absent bedroom rug which he had sent to the dry cleaners.  He hoped
she could regain some semblance of her normal life.  Scully had been
in such a funk, Mulder was sincerely worried that she wouldn't be
ready for her hearing-- and she needed to be at her best.

Mulder had told Scully about having everything cleaned for her,
something she had appreciated, but something that had also unsettled
her in some weird way, she thought. Mulder had offered to take her to
her apartment the day it was released and even though she told him she
would think about it, she had declined, a decision he expected.

But the next day, the day before the hearing, Scully had faced the
inevitable for a blandly practical reason-- she needed something to
wear to her hearing. Mulder had parked the car at the curb and they
had gone into her building and made it to the elevator before he
detected any emotion from her, her efforts at holding herself together
finally giving way.  "Mulder, give me a minute..." she said, reaching
to still his hand that had shifted to unlock her door.  She had done
this before, gone back to her apartment after a tragedy; Tooms, her
sister...  But this time was different; she had been the one to have
taken a life behind her door.

Mulder didn't say anything, just nodded slowly and watched her,
watching for any signs that she needed anything more than just for him
to be there.  After several long seconds, she took the key from his
hand and unlocked the door herself, closing her eyes as she swung the
door open.  She took a deep breath and opened her eyes as she entered,
looking around to take everything in as she did.  Scully didn't know
exactly what she expected but it wasn't what she found.  Her apartment
looked as it always had; neat as a pin, everything in its place, no
tell-tale signs that someone had died there and certainly no signs
that she had probably come within moments of losing her own life
there.

"You okay?" Mulder asked, closing the door softly behind her.

"I...  I don't know what I expected, but it's... it's just as it's
always been," she replied, still not looking at him.  She looked at
the floor where Pfaster's body had fallen, finding no evidence that
the oak hardwood had been covered with a murderer's blood.  Mulder
knew what she was looking for, relieved that there was nothing for her
to find.

"That's because it belongs to you; no one else, Scully," he told her,
his determination to keep her strong evident in his voice. Scully
smiled to herself, recognizing Mulder's words for what they were.  
She hesitated for a moment, then moved toward the hall to her bedroom,
knowing she had to get this part over with at some point.  Mulder just
followed her, letting her do what she needed to do at her own pace.  
He would be there to catch her if she fell.

The bedroom was dark, the shades fully down hiding the late afternoon
sun.  Scully flipped on the light switch, immediately noticing the
absence of her rug.  "I sent it to the dry cleaners," Mulder said,
knowing what she was thinking.  "It should be ready to pick up in a
couple of days."  Scully nodded, her lips pursed as she moved around
him, giving her etagere the once over.

"All this stuff history?" she asked, nodding her head towards the
half-empty shelves.

"No, I've got it.  You can go through it when you're ready," he told
her softly.

"Damn, Mulder.  You've just thought of everything..." she said
sharply.  "I just bet you've got the mirror all taken care of, too?"

"It'll be delivered next Tuesday," he responded flatly, already
suspicioning where her conversation was going.

"So, now all you have left to fix is me, huh?" she said, finally
turning to look him squarely in the eyes.  "Why don't you get started
on that?  Then we can just end all this and put it out of our minds,"
she said, facetiousness dripping from her inflection. She had been so
controlled by Pfaster and now she felt she was being controlled by
Mulder. Didn't he think she could manage herself?

"Scully..." Mulder said, moving toward her, wanting her to understand
that he was only trying to help her because he loved her, not because
she was weak.

"Don't, Mulder," she said, moving out of the way as he reached for
her.  "I... I need some time.  I, uh, need to work through this
myself," Scully told him, her voice strong, but he could hear the
tremble hidden beneath. "I'll see you at the hearing tomorrow."

"You're asking me to leave?" Mulder said, stepping back from her,
incredulous.

"I'm asking you to give me some time alone... yes," she told him, then
went into the bathroom, closing the door softly behind her.

Mulder stood in his spot, staring at the door, thinking that something
would somehow change, but when he heard the water of the shower, he
hesitated only a few seconds before walking slowly out of her bedroom
and her apartment.

DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
Later that evening

Mulder had left her, reluctantly, but he knew her; knew she needed to
be by herself, if only for a while.  Even if she thought she didn't
want to see him until the next day at the OPR hearing, he knew when he
left that he had no intention of leaving her alone all night.  He had
used the time to get a few things from his apartment; his grey suit
that he had always teased Scully made him seem more serious, a few
needed toiletries.  He was loading his trunk with a few bags of things
he had gotten from the deli for dinner when he felt his cell phone
vibrate in his coat pocket.

"Mulder," he answered, shifting the phone to his left hand as he put a
fresh melon for Scully's breakfast into his trunk along with the rest
of his purchases.

"Mulder..." he heard her voice say weakly.

"Scully?  What is it?  Are you okay?" he asked, not giving her a
chance to really answer.

"I...  I..." she stuttered, her voice shaking.

Mulder dropped a cantaloupe, slamming the trunk lid as he headed for
the driver's seat of his car.  "Scully, tell me what the matter...is"
he said calmly to her, not a reflection noticeable of what he was
feeling at the moment.  "I'm on my way, but talk to me..." he
reassured her, starting the car and shoving it into drive.

"I can't stay here," she told him, her voice finally trembling with
tears.  "Please..."

"I'm only a few blocks from you," he reassured her, his FBI fleet
sedan setting a new land speed record for her neighborhood as he
spoke.  "Stay on the line with me Scully."

Scully felt such relief, just from the sound of his voice and just
from knowing that he was close and on his way to her.  She didn't
speak, couldn't, even though she knew he would be frantic if she
didn't at least say something.

"Talk to me, Scully," he said, needing reassurance himself.

"I'm sorry..." she finally told him, not really even knowing why she
chose those words.  Maybe she was sorry for calling him, showing him
her vulnerabilities; maybe she was sorry for the whole damned mess.

She heard a key in her lock, but didn't hear him tell her 'It's me'
into the phone when she moved it from her ear as she slid to the
floor, not even realizing it was Mulder who had entered her apartment.

Mulder found her on the floor in the corner of her kitchen, almost
cowered, he thought, against the base cabinets.  "Scully, honey, it's
me," he told her as he bent to his knees, gathering her in his arms
where he found her, pulling her almost into his lap. She grabbed for
him, her hands gathering the fabric of his jacket in a desperate
grasp. "It's okay... its okay..." he tried to sooth. He could feel her
body trembling, shaking against him, her sobs uncontrollable.  He had
never seen her like this in his life; never thought he would ever see
her like this. Mulder slid his arm under her knees as the other held
on to her body as he struggled to stand from the floor, moving to
carry her to her bed.

"No!!" she cried out when she realized where he was carrying her.  He
stopped, not really knowing what was wrong or knowing what to do.
"Please, not there," she said into his shoulder, her voice still
shaking and filled with tears.  Mulder turned and carried her to her
couch instead, setting her down, then reaching for a pillow to put
behind her head before laying her down.  He sat next to her hip,
covering her with her afghan before brushing her hair back from her
forehead. She seemed too exhausted to speak, so he didn't ask, didn't
ask anything of her that he knew she couldn't yet give.  He simply sat
next to her, his hands softly massaging her arms, her shoulders,
through the soft fabric of the blanket, coaxing her to relax and stop
shaking.

Finally, Scully opened her eyes, looking at nothing for several long
moments before glancing at him, the look of loving concern on his face
causing her to cry all over again.  Mulder reached for her, gathering
her to a sitting position as he held her while she cried.  He kissed
her hair softly, rubbing her back, trying to help her calm, but giving
her time to cry out the most desperate emotions she had ever shared
with him.

Scully's crying began to calm, her grasp on him lessening before
finally pulling back from him to look at him, her lips still quivering
as she struggled not to cry again. Mulder looked at her, giving her a
small smile that said more than any words could. He gave her a soft,
lingering kiss on her forehead to comfort her.  He held his lips
there, but it was Scully who moved away, returning his small smile
before kissing him lightly on the lips.  "Thank you," she said, now
unable to look at him.

Scully moved back a bit more from him, leaning against the pillow
Mulder had placed behind her back, folding her hands in her lap.  
Mulder stood, lifting her legs to sit on the couch under them, laying
her legs over his before placing his hand over hers giving them a
soft, reassuring squeeze.  "I'm here to please," he gently teased her.

"That you are... That you are," she smiled. "I...I don't know what to
say... I," she struggled to try to explain.

"Scully, don't feel you have to explain anything to me.  Right now, I
just want you to try to relax a little bit if you can," he said
softly.  "You scared me..."

"I'm sorry..." she said to her hands.

"Don't be sorry; never be sorry for letting me see what you are
feeling, Scully.  Never," he told her.

"I just panicked.  I started to go to bed..." she told him, hesitating
before being able to go on.  "I think I started to hyperventilate when
I put on my pajamas... remembering...," she continued, searching for
what she remembered feeling.  "And then when I picked up my alarm
clock to set it... I just... just lost it," she admitted, moving one
of her hands to grasp his, looking into his eyes for several long
seconds before speaking again. "I'm sorry I sent you home, Mulder..."

"I understood, Scully," he told her, bringing her hand up to kiss her
fingers.  "But I was on my way back here when you called.  I had just
stopped to get a few things from 'Nathans'--- cantaloupe ---your
favorite," he smiled.

Scully smiled back and he knew it was the most beautiful sight he had
seen in four days.  He could see in her eyes that she felt better;
that she was somehow cleansed.  "We can go back to my apartment if you
want. I'll get a few things for you," he told her as he started to
stand, figuring she wasn't ready to stay in her own apartment for the
night.

"Mulder, no," she said, not letting go of his hand or allowing him to
stand.  "I want to stay here; NEED to stay here," she told him, her
eyes pleading with him to understand.  He nodded to her, the
understanding she needed to see present in his expression, his eyes.
"But I need you to be here with me..."

OFFICE OF PROFESSIONAL REVIEW
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
The next afternoon, 2:35pm

Both of them sat on a very uncomfortable bench in the hallway outside
the hearing room, close enough to give each other the comfort of their
proximity, but not touching, exuding their professional, daytime
personalities.  They had seen several members of the DC police go in
and out of the hearing room in the last hour and a half, but had yet
to be called in.  Mulder was antsy; fidgeting in his seat, picking at
non-existent lent on his suit to have something to do with his hands.  
On the other hand, Scully appeared calm and composed and Mulder felt
it was real, not just a front she was putting on to boost herself for
her questioning.

Scully had seemed better, relaxed and more at peace with herself than
she had been since the shooting when they had finally settled into bed
the previous night.  She had noticed the new linens when she had
turned down her quilt, a gesture from him that brought tears to her
eyes that she allowed Mulder to see. Scully had snuggled in close to
him, laying her head on his chest, wrapping her leg over his, trying
to get as close to him as she possibly could.  They laid in silence
for several minutes before she shifted again, finally propping herself
up on her elbow before speaking.  "Mulder..." she started, almost
shyly, Mulder noted.  "I have kind of a strange request.  Well, not
strange, but something we have never just done spontaneously before."

"Uh, how strange?" Mulder asked, wagging his eyebrows at her to tease,
but not really knowing what to think.

Scully smiled to him before speaking again. "Well, maybe not what
you're hoping for, but it isn't a request I think you'll be opposed
to," she kidded.  "Would you... could we... would you mind taking your
pants and t-shirt off?" she finally managed to say.

"That is a rhetorical question isn't it, Scully?" he teased back.

"Yeah, I guess when you're involved it is, isn't it?" she smiled,
leaning down to give him a soft kiss on the lips.  "I just need to
feel you close to me," she spoke against his lips.  He had pulled his
t-shirt and boxers off without getting out of the bed and then helped
her to remove her pajamas.  He knew what she was asking wasn't sexual;
not tonight.  She just wanted to be skin to skin; wanted to hold him
and needed him to hold her.

"What are you thinking about, Scully?" Mulder asked from his place on
the bench, noticing her faraway stare.

"Wha?  Oh, um... last night if you must know," she answered flatly,
shifting the papers in the file on her lap with deliberate
nonchalance.

"I can do better, you know," he teased, almost mirroring her movements
and attitude for the benefit of those passing by.  "All you had to do
was ask."

Scully looked at him and smiled, catching herself before her
expression gave away too much to anyone who might notice.  "I'll hold
you to that toni..."

"Agent Mulder, they're ready for you now," the secretary spoke from
the opened door of the hearing room.  The woman opened the door
further, a man Mulder recognized as a DC detective coming out just as
she did.

"See you on the other side, Scully," Mulder told her as he stood to go
take his place in front of the panel that may very well decide the
direction of the rest of Scully's life... his life.

OFFICE OF PROFESSIONAL REVIEW J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING Forty minutes
later "So after the police had released Agent Scully from the scene,
where did the two of you go then, Agent Mulder?" Howard Cooper
questioned, an Assistant Director generally assigned to the case
follow-up section of the Bureau who had a reputation for being a
grand- standing asshole.  The man had been badgering Mulder for forty
minutes about the actual shooting specifics and Mulder had managed to
hold his own very well.  He had hoped he was almost finished and
hadn't expected the questioning to go much further.

"Agent Scully hadn't slept in over 36 hours and since she couldn't
stay in her apartment, I took her to mine to get some sleep," Mulder
answered, outwardly stoic, but his inner self wanting to slap the shit
out of this insinuating bastard.

"And is that what the two of you did when you arrived at your
apartment, Agent Mulder? Sleep?" the AD continued, facetiousness
dripping from his question.

Mulder thought a few moments before answering as vaguely as possible.  
"If I remember correctly, I think Agent Scully took a shower while I
made some breakfast."

"Does Agent Scully make a habit of showering at your apartment, Agent
Mulder?"

"Yeah.  Every time she is brutally attacked in her own apartment and
has come within seconds of being murdered, she likes to come over and
shampoo," he answered, unable to tolerate the insinuations any longer
without striking back.  "She's kind of funny that way."

The Assistant Director stared at him for a few pointed seconds, the
expression of his face outwardly becoming challenging as his jaw set.  
"Did you have sex with her?"

"What the hell kind of question is that?" Mulder said angrily, trying
to avoid a direct answer, but irritated at himself for losing his
cool.

"It's the kind of question I'm asking you to answer, Agent Mulder,"
Cooper replied, recognizing he had just put Mulder on the defensive.  
"When you returned to your apartment, did you and Agent Scully have
sexual relations?" he asked more adamantly.

"When we returned to my apartment, Agent Scully took a shower and I
cooked.  But I thought I already answered that," he stated plainly.

"So, you are saying that you and Agent Scully are simply partners with
the FBI?  That you do not have a sexual relationship?" the AD then
asked, his incredulity very obviously feigned.

"That's not what you asked me," Mulder replied, looking the man
directly in the eyes.

Another member of the panel then interjected, finally tiring of Mulder
and the AD's standoff.  "Agent Mulder, we have reason to believe that
you and Agent Scully may be more than just partners. So, I'll rephrase
the question.  Did you and Agent Scully engage in sexual relations at
any time while she was staying at your apartment after the death of
Donald Pfaster?" the other man phrased it so that Mulder could find no
way to evade the issue at hand without lying.

"Yes," Mulder answered simply, continuing to look directly at the
panel.  He noticed Skinner nervously picking up his pen, looking at
anything but Mulder as he did, but Mulder noticed an expression on his
face that made Mulder realize that everything he had already been
questioned about was just an exercise to lead up to the current line
of questioning; that the committee was privy to something that he
wasn't.

"I am seriously questioning your objectivity here, Agent Mulder,"
Cooper started, sensing he had Mulder on the spot.  But with the
tension already at a peak, another member interjected.

"Agent Mulder, has your relationship with Agent Scully caused you to
'alter' the details about the events that happened in her apartment?"
another committee member asked, tired frustration very evident in her
voice.

"Agent Scully and I are the only witnesses to the shooting and whether
you think I am objective or not, you'll just have to accept that I am
relaying the events as they happened-- no matter how many personal
details you try to draw conclusions from," Mulder said impatiently,
his irritation very evident.

Finally Skinner spoke, Mulder unsure if his obvious irritation was
more with him or the other panel members.  "If there are no more
questions for Agent Mulder, I suggest we move on..."

As Mulder left the hearing room, the secretary called for Scully,
Mulder's look as they passed telling her that the cat had been pulled
out of the bag.  She took a deep breath as she entered the room and
took her place in the chair before them.

Scully gave her statement, a matter-of-fact rundown of the events as
she had relayed them to the DC police; as she and Mulder had agreed
upon.  She had a fleeting thought that maybe they'd just accept her
report and not feel the need to ask any follow-up questions, but deep
down she knew better.

Skinner took the first question, hoping to set the tone before any of
the other panel members started with her.  "Were you afraid for your
life, Agent Scully?"

"Of course," Scully answered firmly.

"Couldn't you have subdued him?  Did you try?" another panel member
asked, the only question he had asked all day.

"Agent Fischer, I think you can see by the evidence found in my
apartment and by the content of my statement that I had already tried
that," Scully told him plainly as if she had to explain the obvious to
a child. "After I was able to untie myself, I don't think I was
legally or morally obligated to bet those odds again."

"You know, Agent Scully, you mentioned in your statement that you
fired just as Agent Mulder was coming in the door to your apartment.  
Yet, during his questioning, he seemed to think he came in, what
sounded like, several seconds later.  Can you account for the
discrepancy in your testimonies?" AD Cooper, the Assistant Director
who had badgered Mulder, finally broke in.

"No, except that people under duress often perceive events in
different time frames," she responded matter-of-factly, but squirming
slightly in her chair, a movement she didn't realize she had made.

"Would there be any reason that Agent Mulder would, say... alter the
sequence of events to make it look like a better shoot?" the AD said
mockingly.

Scully didn't answer, her look telling every member of the panel that
she wouldn't dignify the insinuation with a response.

"Well, if you don't want to speculate, how about if I do?" he said,
leading the questioning right where he wanted it to go. "Did Agent
Mulder alter his story to this committee to, oh, I don't know...,
garner a favor?"

"I don't understand your question," Scully said as unemotionally as
she could.

"Okay... After Agent Mulder told his 'story' to the police, did the
two of you engage in sexual relations after he took you to his
apartment, Agent Scully?" he said demandingly.

Not surprised by the question, but still off balance by it, Scully
glanced at Skinner and caught his expression which confirmed her
suspicion that the committee had already questioned Mulder on this
area.  Hoping that Mulder had just admitted the truth, she took a
breath before answering.  "Later that afternoon, yes," she told them
truthfully.

"Was that payment for his story?"

"I won't dignify that question with an answer," she responded
uncompromisingly, hoping that their line of questioning would stop.

"Well, I didn't ask the question leaving you an option as to whether
you want to answer it or not," the AD spoke, leaning forward in his
chair threateningly.  "Answer the question, Miss Scully."

"It's AGENT Scully, Assistant Director.  And, in case you haven't
noticed, I have been more than cooperative with this investigation,"
she started.  "I was choked, beaten and tied up by a murderer twice my
size whose next move was certainly to rape and then mutilate me before
killing me."

"Agent Scully," the AD tried to interrupt.

"Let me finish," she said adamantly.  "And then I had to be humiliated
further by having my apartment invaded and searched and then having my
body photographed by a stranger, the pictures being seen by countless
more strangers including all of you in this room. And I'll not stand
by and allow you to needlessly humiliate me any further.  My personal
life is my personal life and it has nothing to do with this case," she
finished impressively, the room so quiet you could've heard the
proverbial pin drop.

Scully then stood, gathering her papers into her briefcase before
speaking again.  "I defended myself the only way I knew how.  It was
either him or me or someone else.  You either accept my testimony or
you don't.  I have been a loyal agent since the first day I started
with the FBI and if that doesn't warrant your trust, then I question
your reasoning in continuing to employ me," she finished as she moved
toward the door, leaving the panelists sitting in stunned silence.

OPR HEARING ROOM
FBI HEADQUARTERS
Later that afternoon

"I don't care what you say, Director Skinner. Those two are lying
through their teeth and you know it!" Cooper continued, still trying
to convince the panel of his view since the end of their questioning
earlier that day.

"Even if that were true, and I believe it isn't, we have no evidence
that Agent Scully's shooting of the victim was anything but valid,"
Skinner pointed out.  Cooper sighed, tossing his pencil down onto the
notepad in front of him, knowing that Skinner was right.

"I would have to agree with AD Cooper to a degree, but I don't think
it was an unjustified shoot.  Pfaster was posed a great threat to her
life and Agent Scully has an exemplary reputation and we should
support her," Agent Martin offered, her approach much more reasonable
than Cooper's.  "Despite what Detective Sanderson says he saw and
heard, we have no evidence it was anything more than one lover
comforting another.  It's Skinner's business what he does with their
partnership assignment, but it's not a reason to recommend Agent
Scully, one of our own, be turned over to the DC police for
prosecution."

"Well, the DC police might see it differently," AD Cooper finished,
the determined look on his face not going unnoticed by Skinner.

WASHINGTON, DC
Later that day, 5:05pm

After Scully's testimony, the panel had asked that Mulder reappear for
some follow-up testimony.  Scully had spoken to him briefly outside
the hearing room, telling him only that she would see him later.  If
the panel wanted anything further from her, they would have to wait.  
She was going to make herself unavailable for the rest of the day and
evening and they'd just have to live with it. However, she doubted
that after her final outburst they would even attempt to contact her;
at least not until tomorrow.

Scully knew it would be several days, if not weeks, before OPR would
have a decision.  She knew that anything could happen; from them
deciding it was a good shoot to recommending the DC police charge her
with murder.  And after her questioning and her behavior before the
board, she truly didn't have any inkling about where their thoughts
were.  But there was one thing she felt certain about-- that, in the
least, they would most certainly recommend that she be reassigned to a
different partner.  Skinner had been put on the spot; had had his
agents' dirty laundry aired in the worst possible public way and would
have to respond in a way that his peers would perceive as appropriate.  
He could no longer continue to turn a blind eye and retain his
credibility within the Bureau.

The follow-up questions that Mulder had had thrown at him were just
about what he expected; a futile attempt to trip him up to get at the
slight discrepancy in the timelines both he and Scully had provided.
But they hadn't been able to, Mulder's sufficient ego reassuring him
that he was smarter that that entire panel put together. He just
wanted out of there and just wanted to find Scully.  He knew she
wouldn't go home and had a good idea where he might find her.

"This seat taken?" he asked as he walked up behind her sitting on a
familiar bench by the Tidal Basin in front of the Jefferson Memorial,
a place they had visited at various trying times in their lives.  
Scully gave him a small smile, an expression only Mulder knew meant so
much more.  He sat down next to her, neither saying anything for
several long minutes, each thinking their own thoughts but neither
expressing them to the other.  "You know, Scully, I've always wanted
to have sex on a bench at the Jefferson Memorial."

"Have you always wanted to get arrested, too?" Scully asked in her
usual deadpan.

"Only if you'd be my cellmate," he said, not even thinking about how
what he'd just said would sound until it came out of his mouth, his
immediate regret too late.

But Scully looked at him only an instant before tossing her head back
and laughing, albeit the melancholy, ironic laugh that it was.  "Be
careful what you wish for, Mulder," she said with a slight smile.

"You know what I wish for right now?" he asked her, really more of a
statement than a question.

Scully looked at him, her eyebrow and slight smirk an indication to
him that she was expecting something fairly off color.

"I'm wishing that you'll agree to let me take you home; run you a nice
warm bath..." he started, then glanced at her, noticing her softening
look.  "Feed you something fattening and forbidden and then letting me
take you to bed and make you forget all about today..." he finished,
looking at her like a kid hoping she'll agree to a trip to the circus.

Scully smiled to herself, not looking at him as she reached for his
hand, taking it between both of hers rubbing her palm over his.  "I
love you, Mulder..." she told him softly.  "Very much."

"Let's go home..."

DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
Four days later, Saturday, 6:54am

Scully was still sleeping, her sleeping form barely noticeable
surrounded by the down comforter and a mass of fluffy feather pillows.  
Mulder had let her sleep, making coffee and picking up a pumpernickel
bagel and some blueberry cream cheese on his way home from his morning
run.  Mulder crawled up on the bed softly blowing in her ear, his grin
wide at watching her, her mouth half open, her hair mussed into a mass
of red turmoil, a sight only beautiful to him.  He moved closer,
leaning over her to kiss the tip of her nose.

"Mmm," she barely sighed, turning her head further into the soft of
the down, still not really waking.

Mulder watched her, thinking how he just wanted to wrap himself around
her and hold her, make everything that was causing her tense brow to
go away.  But instead, bent further to whisper into her ear "Scully, I
have something for you..."

"Mulder..." she finally mumbled, moving to stretch a bit.  Mulder
nuzzled her neck, giving her chin a quick nip before looking at her.

"You've already been for your run?" she asked, finally able to open
her eyes to look at him.

"How'd you guess?" he asked, still smiling at her, wanting so badly to
kiss her, but knowing she hadn't shown much interest in physical
contact lately.  Even after her voiced love for him at the Jefferson
Memorial, by the time they returned to her apartment, her mood seemed
to have changed.

"You smell..." she told him, rubbing her eyes with heels of her hands,
then running her fingers through her hair, making it look a little
less chaotic.

"Sorry..." he smiled, finally taking a chance to give her a long kiss
on the lips.  "We could take a shower together... save a little
water..." he said against her lips.

Scully gave him a slight smile, the melancholy she was feeling obvious
to him. She could see the longing in his eyes and feel what he wanted
them showering together to lead to.  They hadn't made love since the
afternoon after Pfaster's death.  He had asked a couple of times, but
she had said she was too tired or wasn't in the mood.  And she hadn't
been.  She couldn't let herself feel what she needed to feel to be
with him. Scully swallowed hard, unable to look him in the eyes as she
changed the subject. "Do I smell coffee?"

"Scully, honey, talk to me," he said to her softly, petting her hair,
smoothing her forehead with his thumb.  "Please..." he said, finally
laying down next to her, reaching for her hand.

She was still unable to meet his eyes, the seconds she looked away
seeming like hours to him.  She couldn't hold her feelings any longer
and turned away from him, the comforter between them not giving her
the distance she needed.  "Mulder, please don't pressure me.  
Please," she cried quietly.

"Scully, I think you're trying to punish yourself; that you think you
don't deserve to be happy anymore..." he said to her softly, still
touching her.  He moved away from her a bit to look at her.  "I think
you're paying yourself back for what you perceive as your guilt
whether you realize it or not."

Scully returned his gaze, knowing that he was right, but unable to
admit it.  Whether consciously or not, she was pushing away anything
that might be pleasurable to her; distancing herself from what she
wanted and needed most.  But even though she might be able to
intellectualize the cause for her withdrawal, emotionally she just
couldn't find a place where she felt like a person who deserved
happiness; where she deserved to live her life when she had ended
another.

Mulder almost felt anger toward her as she, again, rolled over away
from him, but fought with himself not to.  He knew she was hurting
much worse than he was.  "You are the only thing that matters to me
right now and you turn away from me..."

The silence from her was louder than any spoken words could be.  
Mulder's mind raced through the many things he wanted to say, but
instead got up from the bed, turning back to look at her lying there,
his heart melting at how unlike herself she looked.  But at the last
minute, instead of heading into the bathroom as he intended, he walked
around to her side of the bed.  He looked at her a moment before
touching her hair softly as he spoke.  "Scully, you need to talk to
someone..."


OFFICE OF WALTER SKINNER
FBI HEADQUARTERS
WASHINGTON, DC
Later that day

"Agent, I think you are being hasty," Skinner said, finally looking up
from the paper she had unceremoniously given him.  "Please
reconsider."

"Sir, if there is one thing I haven't done, it is made this decision
in haste," Scully replied, unable to meet his gaze.  "I have thought
of nothing else."

Scully had taken Mulder's words to heart and had made an appointment
with a counselor recommended by her regular Physician.  She didn't
want to see Karen Kosseff since, at least, a record of her visit would
go in her FBI file and she didn't think the OPR committee needed any
more ammunition against her.  But prior to the appointment she had
set; she had done a reversal and written out her resignation from the
FBI.

"What will this prove, Scully?"  Skinner asked her compassionately.

Scully considered his question for several moments before answering,
not really thinking about her decision in that way before.  "I'm not
trying to prove anything, Sir.  I just want to put everything behind
me and this is the best way to do it... for me," she finished slowly,
not really even believing it herself.  Scully stood then, giving
Skinner a fleeting glance and a sad smile before moving toward the
door.

"Does Mulder know about this?" Skinner stood as he asked her.

Scully stopped and turned to look at him before answering.  "Not yet,"
she told him. "So I would appreciate your discretion..."

Skinner nodded and told her he would hold it for a week before
watching her leave, hoping that she knew what she was doing.


FOX MULDER'S APARTMENT 
Two days later 

"Yeah, I'll be there at two," Mulder told Skinner when he had relayed
that the OPR committee had reached a decision in their investigation
of Donnie Pfaster's death and had set a meeting for that afternoon.

"Mulder, I need to speak with you both after the meeting, but you're
not invited to attend the hearing results.  I'm just telling you so
you'd know and I thought Scully might appreciate hearing it from you
rather than me," Skinner responded.

"Well, in that case, I suggest you tell Scully yourself.  I'm the last
person she wants to hear much from these days," Mulder told with a
tinge of sadness and regret that was very apparent to Skinner.

Skinner was taken by surprise by Mulder's admission and found himself
saddened, almost more concerned about the problem between his two
agents than he was about the OPR meeting. "I'll call her, but be in my
office at three."

Mulder didn't like the tone of Skinner's voice.  He had a vibe that
Scully wasn't going to hear good news at the OPR meeting. He had
barely spoken to Scully since leaving her apartment over two days
before and hadn't seen her at all.  She had simply gone back to sleep
after turning away from him the other morning and he had packed and
left her apartment.  He had called a couple of times to check to see
if she was alright and, of course, she had told him she was fine.  
The ultimate non-committal answer, he thought.

Scully hadn't been unfriendly or sharp with him, but didn't really
seem to want to converse much either.  The sadness in her voice the
previous night had almost led him to go to her, but he knew it would
be to no avail.  She needed some time and he needed to be strong
enough to give it to her.

Scully hadn't told Mulder of her resignation. Since he had left her
apartment two days ago, she hadn't had the emotional energy to talk
with him about much of anything; much less to deal with what she knew
would be an argument about her decision.  She figured after the OPR
hearing, it would be a moot point anyway.

OPR HEARING ROOM
FBI HEADQUARTERS
2pm

The room was almost dark except for the desk lights that each member
of the panel had before them.  Just something to add an element of
mystery, she thought, smiling to herself in spite of the seriousness
of her situation.  "Have a seat, Miss Scully," AD Cooper started.

"Again, until I hear differently, sir, it is still Agent Scully,"
Scully spoke as she sat in the chair before them.  She placed her
elbows on the arms of the chair and clasped her hands in front of her,
then looked at AD Cooper as directly as she could and waited for him
to get it over with.

"Well, after considerable deliberation and, I can tell you, much
disagreement, this Committee has not found enough evidence to forward
your case on to the DC Police for prosecution," Cooper said flatly,
never once looking at her.  "You are cleared to return to full duty
tomorrow," he finished, gathering his papers as he stood.

Scully didn't show any outward reaction, didn't really feel much
internal reaction. She had already mentally punished herself to the
point that she could barely function, so what reaction would she have?  
But just as AD Cooper had put his hand on the door knob to leave, he
turned to look at her, appearing to be unable to stop himself.

"Just so you know, MISS Scully, several of us feel that both you and
Agent Mulder should be thrown out on your asses for this," he glared
at her.  "You'll be watched."

"Then nothing will be different than it's ever been, Sir," she replied
flatly, turning to exit the room from the other door.  She glanced at
Skinner, the look on her face telling him that she knew he must have
fought for them and fought hard.  She knew that several members of the
Committee were just looking for any reason to go after her and Mulder
and she had damned near given them one on a silver platter.

As soon as Scully entered the outer office, Mulder stood from his
place on the couch where he had been waiting for her.  "That was
quick," he said unable to read anything from her expression.  
"Well...?"

"Not here, Mulder.  I just want to get out of here," she said, making
her way quickly into the hallway and toward the elevator.  Mulder
simply followed, weaving through the others in the hall, but
continuing to look at her to try to gage her reaction.

The elevator was fairly crowded until they reached the ground floor
when the last of the other occupants exiting.  As soon as the doors
closed, she turned and almost melted against his chest, letting out
the breath she felt like she had been holding since she had entered
the hearing room.  "Scully, talk to me..." he said as he put his arms
around her, afraid she was going to fall.

"No findings," she said against the front of his shirt.

"Nothing?  Not even disciplinary action?" he asked, the surprise of
her revelation evident in his voice.

"It just about killed Cooper to say it, but, no, nothing," she said
moving back to look up at him.

Mulder pulled her to him again as they reached the basement and the
doors opened. "It's over, Scully," he told her softly.

Scully looked up at him again, her eyes meeting his for several
moments before she spoke.  "It'll never truly be over, Mulder..."

OFFICE OF WALTER SKINNER 
FBI HEADQUARTERS 

"I don't know why you believed those two, Walter, but I think you are
making a major career mistake by doing so," AD Cooper told him
frankly.

"Well, it wouldn't be the first one and I'm sure it won't be the
last," Skinner told him, his impatience with the man's inability to
let it drop very evident in his voice.

"But you do realize that you'll have to do something about their
partnership," Cooper told him as if he said it Skinner would just do
it.

"Again, I think we disagree and they are my agents, Tom," Skinner
said, pulling a file out of his drawer, hopeful that his not-so-
subtle action would let Cooper know he was done dealing with him.

"What are you going to do?" Cooper asked incredulously.

"Until their relationship gets in the way of them doing their job, I
intend to wish Scully every happiness and wish Mulder to endeavor to
deserve her," Skinner told him, very obviously ending the
conversation.

X-FILES OFFICE
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
WASHINGTON, DC
Four days later

After Scully and Mulder had left Hoover following the results of her
hearing, they had gone to Scully's apartment, but Mulder hadn't spent
the night.  Mulder was ecstatic about the results of the hearing, but
his enthusiasm only served to irritate Scully. "Of course I'm relieved
about it, Mulder. But there isn't a thing about this whole situation
that is worth celebrating," she had told him before then telling him
she needed some time alone.  She still hadn't told Mulder about her
resignation and was undecided about whether she would rescind it or
stick to it and make a new start.

Both of them had gone back to work the next day, Scully spending most
of the day in the archives researching for a journal article she had
been wanting to finish.  Mulder had sulked around the office feeling
Scully drawing further away from him by the hour.

The next couple of days were a little better. They had both worked in
the office, attended a couple of excruciatingly boring meetings that
they had had a bit of a laugh over and had even gone to lunch together
on the third day.  But they hadn't seen each other outside work,
Mulder letting Scully have her space and not broaching any topic that
Scully didn't bring up.  But their distance was palpable.

When Scully entered the office on the fourth day, Mulder was putting
his suit jacket on and gathering some papers from his desk. Scully
looked at him as she laid her things on her desk, but didn't ask where
he was going.  "Skinner called," Mulder told her as he moved toward
the door.

"Just you?" Scully asked.

"Yeah, he said it wouldn't take long.  I'll be back shortly," he told
her, stopping when he noticed the look on her face.  He walked over
toward her, but didn't touch her even though he wanted nothing more at
that moment than to take her in his arms and tell her how much he
missed her.  "You okay?" he asked quietly, noticing even more how
tired... how sad she looked.

"Yeah, yeah," she answered equally as quietly.  "I, uh... I had a
restless night, I guess."  She couldn't look at him as she answered,
her emotions becoming more fragile the longer he stood next to her.

Mulder could tell she was having difficulty, but had vowed to himself
that he would let her call the shots.  "Not watching some of my old
videos were you, Scully?" he joked, a lame attempt to try to relax her
a bit.  And as he left the office, he was glad that he had, at least,
made her smile.

Scully finished several odds and ends that had been left undone and
hadn't noticed that Mulder had been gone a couple of hours.  She had
eaten the yogurt she brought for lunch as a mid-morning snack, not
having eaten much for the previous evening's dinner.  She was
beginning to get a bit worried about the length of time Mulder had
been gone, wondering what he and Skinner could be discussing without
her.  She hoped that Skinner wasn't saying anything about her
resignation letter; she wanted to tell Mulder herself.  She knew she
couldn't leave; knew she had to be with Mulder, even as bad as things
were at the moment, she knew she could never be with anyone else.  
She just hadn't yet asked Skinner to tear up her letter.

As her mind wandered to the events of the last couple of weeks, she
didn't even notice Mulder enter the office until she saw his hand set
a wrapped box in front of her on the desk.  She took a deep breath
before looking at him, not knowing what he was trying to do. "Beware
the bearer of gifts," she said, picking up the rectangular package,
giving him a soft smile.

"No ulterior motive, Scully. Honest.  I just want you to sleep better
tonight," he told her, his tone teasing, but his thought sincere.

"Is this where you've been?  You and Skinner doing a little
shopping..." she quietly kidded him, still nervous about what might be
in the box.  She pulled the tape off one end with her fingernail, then
the other, pulling the paper away from the box.  She glanced at him
suspiciously before opening the lid. Mulder held his breath, not
knowing whether she would appreciate his humor, as she stared at the
contents for a couple of seconds.

But when she saw the video inside, the title 'Nudes for Slumber'
jumping out at her, she laughed-- tilting-her-head-back out loud
laughter.

"Does that mean you like it?" Mulder asked, his goofiness just making
her laugh even longer.  "I was gonna get you your very own copy of
'Caddy Shack', but wasn't sure it'd help you sleep," he teased.

"And naked women will?" she asked, her smile something he couldn't
remember the last time he'd seen.

"Well, I thought if you didn't like it, at least this way, I wouldn't
be stuck with two copies of 'Caddy Shack'..." he explained. Scully
looked at him and shook her head, not quite believing that she had
found his sophomoric gesture so funny.  But she recognized it for what
it was-- a peace offering; his unique, unspoken apology for everything
that had happened.

"I'll put it right next to my copy of 'Superstars of the Superbowl',"
she joked, but knew he knew that her response had told him just how
important his gesture was to her.  "Thank you..."

"Always here to help, Scully..." he teased as he walked back to his
desk, but both of them knowing he meant what he said.

"I know..." she said softly, still holding the video, knowing the real
meaning of his silly gesture.

The rest of the afternoon was spent in a comfortable silence, both
working on various things at their desk, trying to finish a few loose
ends before the weekend.  The atmosphere in the room seemed clearer
than it had been since they had returned to work. Scully looked at her
watch, noticing that it was almost six o'clock and decided it was time
to call it a week.  She turned off her computer and gathered her
things before slipping into her coat.  She headed for the door, but
then stopped, thinking for only a second before turning around to find
Mulder staring at her.

Scully looked at him for a few moments before coming to a decision she
was ready to make. "Come home with me, Mulder," she said to him
softly, but with an assurance in her voice that he had missed.

"Why?  Why today?" Mulder asked calmly, wanting to be sure she was
really ready for what she was asking.

"Because I've asked you to..." she quietly smiled to him.  And that
was all he needed, shutting down his computer and grabbing his coat
before following her out, his hand at the small of her back.

DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
Later that evening

After they had left the office, Scully had ridden with Mulder, knowing
that she wouldn't need her car for the rest of the weekend. When they
had arrived home, Scully had taken a shower, telling Mulder she felt
like she smelled like the Hoover building.  He had called in take-out
and had left a note telling her he had run to pick up the order at the
Italian place around the corner.

"Good choice, Mulder," Scully told him, her mouth full of cannelloni.  
"Thanks for going out."

"I wasn't in the mood for Chinese or pizza," he told her, still not
just quite sure why she had finally asked him to come home with her.

They ate in a comfortable silence for a while before Scully finally
spoke up, taking a drink of her wine.  "I'm sorry for the mood I've
been in, Mulder," she said, looking him directly in the eyes.  "For
shutting you out..."

"I've just been so worried about you, Scully. I hope that you haven't
misconstrued my distance as not caring," he explained.  "I knew when
you were ready to talk, you would."

"Thanks for your understanding, but I'm not so sure I deserve it," she
said, a sad laugh to her voice.

"Scully, if what you've been through doesn't warrant understanding,
then I don't know what would," he said.

"Sometimes it's hard for me to talk about things even when I know I
would be much better if I did," she confessed, standing to take their
dishes to the sink.

"Sometimes?" he teased, which garnered a smile from her.

Scully turned to him as he walked up behind her, taking his hands in
hers.  "I love you very much, Mulder and I need to learn to turn to
you when I need you; not draw away. That's all I'm trying to say," she
told him softly.

"It takes time, Scully.  You and I are both very used to relying only
on ourselves.  It was a natural reaction," he replied, moving to take
her in his arms.

"I wanted to be with you every day I was alone, Mulder.  I just want
you to know that."

"Well, we're here now, aren't we?" he told her softly, not sure what
to do next, what she was ready for.

Scully moved back to look at him, placing her palms against his
cheeks, giving him a look he had missed so much.  "I love you..." she
told him before reaching up to kiss him on the lips.  He wrapped his
arms tighter around her, raising her feet off the floor as their kiss
intensified.

Mulder lifted her and sat her on the counter as he broke their kiss,
his face buried in the crook of her neck, the smell of her almost
intoxicating to him.  "God, Scully... I wish you could know how much I
love you," he told her, his voice beginning to crack.

Scully moved to hold his face in her hands and smiled at him, seeing
the raw emotion evident in his expression.  "I do know, Mulder.  I
have never doubted that," she said, her smile growing, her mood
becoming lighter.  "Now, take me to bed before I jump you right here."  
Mulder laughed as he grabbed her, her legs wrapping tightly around him
as he carried her toward her bedroom, his mouth on her neck.

"Yummmm," he joked as he continued to kiss her skin.  "You taste so
good..."

"I really don't think you are in a position to judge that just yet,"
she told him, the arousal thick in her voice.  Mulder reached the bed,
laying her on the comforter, bending to kiss her on the lips.  He
moved to lie beside her, kicking his shoes off as he did. Eventually,
all clothes were removed, each taking their time to undress each other
between kisses, touches, strokes.  "I've missed being with you,
Mulder.  I've missed how you make me feel..."

"I hope that doesn't mean you feel good enough already, 'cause I'm
just getting started," he teased her, his hand slipping over her
stomach down between her legs.  She allowed herself a low moan at his
touch, her legs opening in invitation.  His heart was pounding and he
felt nervous, surprising even himself.  But they hadn't been together
in weeks and he had been afraid that they may never be again.

"Relax, Mulder...  It's just me," she told him softly, feeling that
his touches were more tentative than usual.  He smiled at her, a look
she could see even in the relative darkness in her room.  He kissed
her on the lips again before moving to take her nipple between his
lips, his tongue flicking against the taut tip.  Scully focused enough
to reach down and stroke him with her fist, her hand folding around
the end each time.  She felt him growing, becoming thicker and harder,
her breathing becoming more like pants, his breathing matching hers.  
"Mulder..."

Mulder moved over her, using his hand to place himself at her opening,
shifting most of his weight to his elbows before pushing further in.  
"Uhhhh, Scully..." he moaned, thinking to himself that nothing had
ever felt so good, feeling her body shudder beneath him.  "Scully?"

"I'm so close already, Mulder," she answered his query, her voice
barely a whisper between her breaths.  Mulder moved within her, his
strokes long and slow, his lips kissing her neck, her face.  Scully
moved with him, her muscles trembling with everything he did. "Mulder,
I...  oh, godddddddddd," she moaned as her hips jolted off the
mattress, the muscles of her abdomen and groin clenching as she
climaxed.  Her hands clasped his biceps, her nails close to breaking
the surface of his skin as she held on.  "Ohhhhhhhh..." she sighed,
wrapping her arms around his neck, burying her face against his chest
as she came down.  "Mulder..." she whispered, unable to even hear
herself against the pounding of his heart.

Mulder kissed her when she lay back against the pillow, moving inside
her again, knowing he wasn't going to last much longer and knowing
Scully was beyond caring at that point. She tried as she could to move
with him until she heard him groan, his muscles stiffening as he came
again and again inside her.  The feel of his breath against the side
of her face ruffling her hair, his liquid seeping slowly out of her,
made gooseflesh break out over her entire body.

"Scully... jesus..." Mulder breathed as he lay down beside her,
gathering her close to him.  "I missed you like crazy," Mulder
whispered to her, his hand petting her thigh. Scully shifted against
him, her bottom rubbing back against his groin, her hand playing with
the fingers of his other hand. His chest felt good against her back,
the hair on his thighs tickling the backs of hers.  She had missed
him, too.

Scully moved to her back to look at him, touching his cheek before
giving him a soft, lingering kiss on his lips, still wet from kissing
her.  "That was nice..." she smiled to him.

"Nice?  Nice?" Mulder teased.  "I think I would've described it a
little better than 'nice', Scully," he said, his hand stroking the
skin of her stomach.

"You underestimate my meaning of nice..." she said before kissing him
again.  "Sleep, Mulder... We need sleep..."

DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
The next morning

Mulder was awake, lying on his back, staring at the ceiling when she
opened an eye from her position on her stomach.  Mulder scratched
absently scratched his chest, then reached down and scratched himself
between his legs, not noticing Scully watching him. "You got an itch,
there, Mulder?" she asked, almost startling Mulder from his reverie.

"Yeah, baby, I got an itch all right," he teased, rolling over, laying
half on top of her, pinning her to the bed on her stomach. "But, as I
recall, you scratched that itch a couple of times last night..." his
silliness making her laugh.

"Let me up, Mulder.  I have to pee," she told him, trying to move out
from under him, but Mulder not budging.  "Come on, no kidding, Mulder.  
If you don't let me up, you're going to be lying in a wet spot in a
matter of seconds," she said, still trying to move.

"Sculllly, wet spots don't bother me.  If they did, I'd a been out of
this bed many hours ago," he mumbled kissing her neck, nipping her
earlobe.

Scully finally was able to wiggle loose and took a quick shower before
making it to the kitchen.  Mulder was wearing only his boxers,
standing at the refrigerator, just staring inside.  "Do you have
anything worth eating?" Mulder asked her.  She gave him a look that
made him realize what he'd just said. "Ooops, I think we answered that
question last night..."

"God, Mulder, you can even turn refrigerator contents into a double
entendre.  And, yes, I have plenty to eat," she told him, kissing the
middle of his bare back as she walked past him.  "Sit and I'll make
something." Mulder went to the door to get the paper, Scully hoping no
one was in the hall that might see him in his underwear.

After she had thrown together a couple of omelet's, they were eating
at their food and each reading a different section of the paper when
Scully suddenly remembered that she had forgotten to call Skinner
about her resignation letter and the previous day had been the last
day of the week he said he would hold it for.  "Mulder, I... I need to
tell you something..." she started, laying down her paper.  He looked
over his, then seeing the look on her face, folded the paper and
waited for what she had to say next.

"I should have told you sooner, but I... I, well, I don't exactly know
why I didn't tell you, but..." she stammered.  Mulder was becoming
concerned, not knowing what could possibly be making her so nervous.  
"I submitted my resignation last week, to Skinner and, and I hope you
know that I was just mixed up, unsure of my future there..." she said,
her eyes pleading with him to understand.

Mulder got up and went in the bedroom to find his suit jacket, finding
an envelope that Skinner had given him to give to her the day before.  
He handed it to her, sitting back down at the table across from her.  
"Skinner gave me this yesterday," he told her softly.

"He told you?" she asked, irritated that Skinner would betray her
confidence, let alone divulge her private business to another agent,
no matter what the circumstance.

"No, he just asked me to give you this envelope.  But I'm betting that
it's your resignation that he didn't accept," he told her, a bit of
irritation in his tone.  Scully knew it was, too, but opened it just
to be sure.  "Why didn't you talk to me about this, Scully?"

"I could barely talk to you about anything. I figured you'd try to
talk me out of it, and at the time, I thought I was doing you a
favor," she explained.  "I thought sure they were going to bring
charges against me..."

"Scully, I think we have learned a lot about ourselves in the last
couple of weeks," he told her, watching her holding her coffee mug to
her lips, watching him.  "I'm not angry that you kept this from me;
that you pulled away from me.  But I don't want us to repeat any of
this stupidity," he told her sternly. "We are nothing apart, Scully
and we can be everything together.  We need to realize that..."

"You're right, I do.  I do know that and I'm sorry," she said, unable
to look at him then, knowing she had been selfish in her actions, not
telling him.

Mulder reached across the table and grasped her hand, her eyes finally
moving up to look at his.  "We okay?" he asked her, his eyes hopeful,
a small smile on his face.

Scully gave him a small smile in return and her eyes told him so much
more.  "We're okay..."


THE END

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