Title: Not Without You Author: Andrea Rating: G...really! Category: MSR Spoilers: Up to and including Requiem. Disclaimer: I think he may finally be getting it right, so I'm willing to give him all the credit he deserves. Archiving: I'd be honoured. Notes: This picks up right after the cameras fade in the snuggle scene from Requiem. Thanks to Jemirah for being willing to beta for me at the drop of a hat and to Dan for just being willing :) Feedback: Is the staff of life... ardywyn@hotmail.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "What are you saying exactly, Mulder?" It was a fair question, a reasonable question. Unfortunately, it was a question to which I didn't have an answer. What was I saying? "I want you to be safe. I can't be sure that you're safe here," I tried to tell her how I was feeling. "Do you think that my symptoms are somehow related to the recent disappearances?" "Not exactly," I didn't want to tell her precisely what I was thinking. How could I tell her that I had the feeling that we were going to be separated again? "I can't explain it, Scully. I have the overwhelming urge to protect you." "So now that we're a couple I have the privilege of being told when I'm going to be ditched?" I recognized the tone of Scully's voice. She was not overly fond of being told what to do. "No...just promise me that if I ever feel that the risks of any case are too great, that you'll trust my instincts." I was pulling out the big guns. Actually it was only gun--the trust gun. Scully was quiet for a minute while she pondered my request. "What about you, Mulder?" "What about me?" "What if I think that the risks are too great for you?" She turned the tables on me. "If you have a good case, I'll listen to you. Okay?" I agreed. "But you know me, Scully, I'm indestructible--a veritable anti- conspiracy juggernaut." Scully chuckled at this. "I think your parents misnamed you." "How's that?" "Cats are supposed to have nine lives, not foxes." "When I was a kid, I thought nothing could be worse than being called Fox, but cat *certainly* would have been." "How about Puma?" Scully said, the amusement evident in her voice. "Oh yeah, that would have been great," I replied dryly. "What about Lynx?" She was starting to giggle. "I don't think so, Scully." "Ocelot?" She could barely get the word out she was laughing so hard. "And you wonder why I don't want you to call me Fox." "I'm sorry, Mulder," she tried unsuccessfully to suppress her giggles. "You didn't give me your word yet, Scully," I reminded her. We were still lying on my bed. Scully was under the covers, I was on top, practically draped over her in an effort to warm her up. Her laughter faded quickly and she moved in my arms, not restlessly, but closer to me, if that was possible. "If you have a good case, Mulder I promise that I'll do as you ask. But I'll need more than a gut feeling." "Thank you, Scully," I sighed. "Thank you for agreeing to let me ditch you if I feel that I have to." "Only if I think that you've got a good case," she reminded me, "And vice versa." "Right," I nodded against her shoulder. "Promise, Mulder." "I promise, Scully." Silence fell over us again. This was the biggest step I'd taken in any relationship. I had told Scully that I loved her long before we'd become intimate and countless times since, as had she. But this was different. We were giving each other veto rights over which investigations we participated in. I had never given that power to anyone before--not even my superiors, never mind my lover. "You never did say what you meant by 'There has to be an end'," she interrupted my thoughts. "I guess I was worried about you. I want more for you than this," I tried to explain. "What if this *is* what I want?" "But, but.." I stammered, "I thought you wanted a normal life-- a house in the suburbs, a dog..." I tried to remember what she had said in the car on our trip to Area 51, but my usually perfect memory was failing me. "As long as there is something left to investigate, Mulder, do you think that you could leave the x-files?" she prompted me. "I was talking about you, Scully. I don't want the work to hurt you anymore." "I promised to stay behind if you thought that I was in too much danger," she pointed out. "Besides, Mulder, I have as much invested in the work as you do. I can't just walk away." In fact, Scully probably had more invested in the x-files than I did now. I forget that sometimes. "And yes, Mulder," she continued, " I *would* like a house in the suburbs and another dog--something resembling a normal life," she answered my earlier question. Then turning slowly in my arms so that she was facing me, her luminescent blue eyes locked on mine. "But not without you, Mulder...not without you." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ please send feedback to ardywyn@hotmail.com