Title: Like a Light Tap on the Shoulder

Author: allimarie

Feedback: please!! this is my first attempt at fic, 

and i would **totally** appreciate it!! 

cadenzathequarterhorse@yahoo.com

Rating: R

Category: SR

Spoilers: all things

Keywords: msr, post-ep

Summary: So, you think you've heard all there is to 

hear about post-ep all things? You think you have 

pictured everything there is to picture? You think 

you have considered every possibility? Well, maybe 

you have. But unless you read *this* you'll never 

really know, will you?

Disclaimer: all the usual....the x-files, these 

characters, and everything connected with the show do 

not belong to me, yada yada yada; they belong 

entirely to chris carter, fox, 1013 productions, aka tptb. all 

benefits gained from writing this fic have had 

nothing to do with money, and everything to do with personal 

satisfaction, so =p sue me and you still won't take 

that away. 

Archive: oooh, i would be honored. please, keep 

everything attached and let me know about it. 

Gossamer, Ephemeral already done.

Notes: at the end....

*******************************************

Before she opened her eyes, she knew where she 

was. His scent was unmistakable, and she was wrapped 

up in it. Mulder. She raised her lids to survey her 

surroundings, looking for clues as to how long she 

had slept. The room was empty and still, save for the dim 

glow emanating from the slightly humming aquarium in 

the corner.

She heard him moving around in the bedroom behind 

her, probably stripping down to his boxers for the 

night. Silk boxers. Black silk boxers. God. Her 

heart let out a little flutter as her breaths came a 

little quicker. Mulder. 

She might have expected to feel rushed at this 

moment, either by urgent need, or by fear of doubt. 

However, she felt neither. She let her mind play over 

the events of the past couple days, wondering at the 

simplicity of her newfound discoveries. That the 

answer to a question she had never voiced, that she 

had, in fact, striven to deny consequence to, should 

emerge so quietly, so subtly, like a light tap on the 

shoulder accompanied by an apologetic smile. So many 

things fell into place, now that she had permission 

to look at them complete and unveiled. She sighed 

lightly. Simple. Somehow, her limbs felt lighter, as 

if the burden that had been lifted had been tangible.

Another sound from the bedroom brought her to the 

present. Water running. She stood up and stretched, 

feeling rested, though the clock on the VCR told her 

she could not have been asleep for more than 20 

minutes. She smiled slightly and moved with purpose 

towards the bedroom, and if her heart beat faster in 

apprehension, she did not let it deter her.

He was bent over the sink, brushing his teeth and 

something shifted deep within her at the sight. She 

paused and let her eyes travel from his long, 

muscular 

bare back, to his ass still clothed in jeans. Mulder. 

Silently and still undetected, she slipped up 

behind him and leaned against the threshold. Gently, 

gently, she laid her hand on the small of his back, 

an obscure thought surfacing briefly, 'It's nice to 

return the favor...' He froze, instantly, and she 

took the opportunity to slide her hand upward, 

allowing the nails to graze the smooth skin as well. 

Though the progress of her hand along his back was a 

beautiful sight to behold, she shifted her gaze to 

meet his in the mirror as he slowly looked up in 

wonderment. She smiled despite her intense gaze, at 

the toothpaste foam surrounding his full mouth, and 

she was gripped by a sudden and intense desire to 

lick it off. Instead, she held his eyes and continued to 

softly caress his back as he absently cleaned his 

face with the back of his hand and stood up slowly.

She could read in his expression that he had 

trepidations, but she did not falter. She was ready, 

and she nodded slightly to give encouragement. He 

seemed to consider something, and she hoped she knew 

what it was. Earlier that night, she had lain it all 

out for him. She had given detailed evidence of her 

journey, and, she had thought, of her point of 

arrival. He had to see that the time had come. 

His expression shifted almost imperceptibly, but 

it was enough, and her heart leapt. Without warning 

he spun to face her, and she reeled from the sudden 

nearness of him, and the actuality of looking 

directly into his eyes, rather than their reflection. She 

sought to anchor herself and ended up running her 

hands along the smooth muscles of his torso. Her 

right hand stilled over the erratic pulse of his 

beating heart, as if it had been her intention all 

along to put it there, while her left continued its 

exploratory course. He rumbled a groan and 

momentarily closed his eyes, and when he reopened 

them, she saw the forthcoming question: 

"Are you *sure?*" She was almost certain he had 

given breath to the words, and his parted lips seemed 

to confirm it. She took his face in her hands and let 

her entire awareness focus and then seep into the 

vastness of his hazel eyes, knowing as she did that 

she had captured him in much the same way.

"I love you," she spoke. Simple. Yet crucial. 

There was no denying the truth.

Several moments passed in which he forgot to 

breathe and his eyes filled up and his mouth 

twitched, and neither of them was aware of anything but each 

other and the constant flow of resolutions; to all 

the old memories, the old uncertainties, the old games, 

the old barriers, wave after wave of which broke over 

them.

Mulder's gasp for air brought their awareness 

back to the physical plane. Scully moved her thumbs 

to caress his lips as she had done once before, and 

she buried her fingers in his hair where it met the 

neck. His left hand came to rest on her back, pulling 

her body closer, while he buried his right hand in 

her hair. Together,they closed the distance between their 

mouths. His lips were soft and gentle, but she knew 

that the time for urgency was soon to arrive, and she 

was eager to meet it. She parted her lips and sought 

him out. They kissed deeply and slowly then, and when 

they broke once for air, she smiled into his eyes. 

She became increasingly aware of the need for more, 

and she brought her hand to the button on his jeans 

even as he reached for her shirt.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

She awoke to his scent again, but this time, 

there was substance to it. She smiled into the 

darkness, enjoying the feel of his arm around her 

naked waist, and the contact of bare skin along bare 

skin from where her thigh nestled between his up to 

where her head rested on his chest. He filled her 

empty spaces. She paused on that thought. Her 

analytical side felt the need to preserve and 

classify the statement, but it was beyond that kind of 

ownership, and any name she could supply would be 

superficial.

Knowing that she had to go home to change before 

going to work that morning, Scully began the slow 

process of extricating herself from him without 

waking him. After she had dressed, she wrote him a quick 

note, knowing he might worry to find her gone, though 

her reasons to leave were necessary and obvious.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Before he opened his eyes, he knew she was gone. 

Her warmth was not beside him, the bed did not give 

evidence of her slight weight, and her scent was 

mostly memory. But it had been real. He got up to 

search for the note he knew she must have written.

It was a surreal feeling, to see it lying there 

on the coffee table. Small and seemingly begging to 

be inconspicuous as it was, it stood as the 

centerpiece of the room. It was the only clue that a 

woman had been there the night before, and that sex 

had been had. Only this hadn't been any woman, and 

the sex, while more mind-blowing than anything he had 

ever dreamed possible, was only an expression of the 

greater event that had taken place. Scully. He did 

not fear the contents of the note.

He strode forward and claimed the little piece of 

paper, eager to have his faith rewarded:

"Mulder--had to go home to change. See you at 

work. Bring breakfast."

He smiled. Scully. She had not signed it, as 

there was little space. She had not written 'I love 

you.' She had not addressed him as 'Fox,' or, worse, 

as 'lover.' She had not adorned it with x's and o's. 

She had ordered him to supply breakfast. Yet, in that 

demand, she had banished any lingering doubt that he 

might have had.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

She entered the office to see him at his 

computer, apparently engrossed in his work, as he did 

not look up. 

"Bagels," he said in an expressionless voice and 

pointed vaguely towards where they sat on a table. 

She smiled at his single-mindedness, amused, yet 

slightly bemused as well. However she had expected 

him to act today, it was not disinterested. Deciding 

to play along, she helped herself to a bagel and 

settled down for what looked like a highly enjoyable 

morning of paperwork. She stole a couple sideways 

glances at him, but he stayed focused on his monitor, 

seemingly unaware of her presence.

Much later, after she had fallen into her own 

state of concentration, he startled her with a 

question. 

"Did you sleep well last night?"

He had made a gallant effort to sound neutral, 

conversational, but her trained ear picked up the 

slight flaw in pitch which gave him away. She 

suppressed a smile. 'Ahh. So this is to be the 

game.'

She focused her eyes on a word in front of her: 

mitigate. 'Verb,' she thought. 'To make less severe, 

to alleviate, to reduce.' "Tolerably." She allowed 

herself a small amount of congratulation. She had won 

that round, but now it was her turn to initiate. She 

took a rather risky route, but overall, she was 

fairly satisfied. "And you, Mulder? I trust you had a 

restful night?"

He was silent a moment before answering. 

"Actually, I've got to have a word with my landlord. 

Rodents in the walls, I think. Or maybe noisy 

plumbing. I didn't get much sleep."

God, but she wanted to touch him! Her hands 

twitched in their idleness, a knot was building below 

her abdomen, and she licked her lips involuntarily. 

He did not turn his head, so perhaps he did not see, 

but she knew he had won, and was certain he must know 

it, too. She let it drop with a non-committal 

"Hmmm..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

An hour or so later, Scully desperately needed 

some coffee. "Coffee, Mulder?"

"Uhhhhn...Yeah." 

She poured two cups and put in her creamer. She 

set hers down at her workspace and continued towards 

Mulder with his. She planned to deposit it and beat a 

hasty retreat back to her area---so far, they had 

managed to avoid eye contact all morning, but even 

so, her mind was straying,and she kept seeing visions of 

him coming, looking straight into her eyes with her 

name on his lips. She paused briefly in her path. 

'Concentrate,' she silently berated herself. Mulder 

had apparently not succumbed to any such weakness. 

Aside from his tiny falter earlier that morning, he 

had been completely cool and collected. She arrived 

at his desk and set the coffee within his reach. 

'Okay.' 

"Hey, as long as you're up..."

"Yeah?" She was beginning to be a little annoyed 

with his composure. 

"Could you bring me a stack of paper for my 

printer?" He was apparently talking to his computer 

screen.

Scully experienced the unlikely sensation of 

simultaneously wanting to shoot the man, and wanting 

to fuck him into submission where he sat. Deciding 

that both lines of thought were dangerous if pursued, 

she obliged him and brought him some printer paper. 

She extended the stack out for him to accept, willing 

him to take it quickly, so she could be on her way. 

It was cooler over on her side of the office.

Eyes and, apparently, awareness still focused 

solely on his work, however, Mulder made an 

inconceivable error. Reaching out, his fingers made 

contact with the back of her hand, and they both 

froze, maintaining the touch, and Scully gasped. Eye 

contact was inevitable now, and she sought his gaze, 

wondering what was going to happen. Wordplay was 

risky enough, but physical contact at this point was 

to be avoided at all costs---something which they had 

both implicitly understood. 

The look he returned her was anything but 

composed, and she suspected he *had* been walking a 

rather fine line all morning. She snatched her hand 

back even as he did the same, and she decided if he 

wanted paper, he was going to have to get up and get 

it on his own after all.

The rest of the day, including lunch, was spent 

in almost complete silence, as each occupant tried to 

convince themself that they were the only person in 

the room. They maintained the maximum possible 

distance from each other, and were ever careful to 

avoid looking at each other. All this in an attempt 

to concentrate on the work at hand, and to prevent 

inappropriate thoughts from intruding, and Scully was 

failing miserably. Out of the corner of her eye, she 

could see Mulder was, too. Gone was his calm 

demeanor, and in its place was obvious distraction. 

To see him thus would have made her gloat, if such an 

indulgence did not at the moment carry its own risks. 

As the day drew to a close, she could stand it no 

longer, and she slammed her laptop shut. She stood up 

and started to gather her things, knowing his 

attention was on her though he didn't look up. "I'm 

getting out of here, Mulder." She recognized the 

invitation in her voice, though she did not recall 

any intent to put it there. He immediately started to 

shut down his computer, casting around for his 

briefcase.

Course of action decided, they all but ran out of 

the office. Scully's hands were sweaty as she pounded 

the 'up' button of the elevator. His nearness was 

affecting her physically and her resolve collapsed. 

Whirling around on the spot, she allowed him to trap 

her against the wall. She grasped the sides of his 

hips as he opened his mouth to her and she pulled him 

into her. She pushed her hips forward to meet him and 

they both groaned into each other when contact was 

made. At that moment an almighty "DING" sounded and 

the elevator doors opened, revealing no one inside. 

Heart beating fast, Scully edged her way into the 

elevator, relieved and yet somehow disappointed at 

the same time, that their indiscretion remained 

undiscovered.

When the elevator doors closed, she became 

acutely aware of how small the elevator really was. 

Vowing to keep her distance, she gave her eyes 

complete freedom to explore his body. He was taut 

with the same tension that was making her own 

breathing difficult. His hair was thick and wild, and 

she thought of running her hands through it. She 

focused on his strong jaw which so often clenched in 

frustration, but, she had discovered, could become 

soft and yielding. 

Feeling him watching her, she locked eyes with 

him. An image of him, as he had appeared to her when 

she had first met him, flashed through her brain; 

brilliant, strong, self-sufficient. She recalled how 

quickly she had risen to accept the challenge that 

was him, half eager to prove herself, half afraid that 

she wouldn't be able to. Another image surfaced: him as 

he appeared to acquaintances; driven, misguided, 

pitiful yet dangerous all the same. She felt nothing 

but disdain for those people who would so easily 

dismiss a man rather than risk discovering something 

about themselves. He was everything that they lacked. 

He was beautiful. She then saw an image of him as he 

appeared to complete strangers; attractive, 

masculine, attainable. His complex needs hidden beneath his GQ 

physique. She pictured him out on a case, with a suit 

on, and his hair neatly combed, his tie quietly 

suggesting that maybe he was not entirely what he 

appeared to be. Scully thought of him as she knew 

him. He was strength and vulnerablity, triumph and 

defeat, wisdom and wonder. 

Mulder seemed to read her thoughts, and he 

reached his hand out to her. She relished the feel of 

her fingers sliding against his as they intertwined. 

She understood him. She taught him and learned from 

him. He pulled her towards him and she held his gaze 

as she brushed her lips along his jaw. She gently 

kissed the corners of his mouth and then ran her lips 

over his. Still looking into his eyes, she opened her 

mouth and breathed in, encouraging him to open his 

mouth to her. Slowly she kissed him with her tongue, 

and as he responded, his eyes remained serious. 

He brought his hands to the sides of her face and 

caressed her skin before easing his face away from 

her. Blinking once but never looking away, he smiled 

slightly in a way that was strangely painful for 

Scully to behold. She tipped her head slightly in 

question.

"It's just that I've always wondered if you would 

ever fully understand how I see you....my feelings 

for you. But I see them in your eyes now. I know that 

you know."

Scully swallowed hard to rid herself of the lump 

that had taken up residence in her throat. Determined 

to make up for her years of resistance, she kissed 

him with renewed passion. She ran her hands from his 

face, down his back, to his ass. She pressed herself 

into him and then slipped one hand into his 

waistband. Her action was answered by a most unwelcome "DING" 

and as the elevator doors opened, the two agents did 

manage to become disengaged. 

The stillness and privacy of the elevator was 

quickly replaced by a crowd of noisy intruders, and 

Scully pressed herself against the wall even as her 

body still longed to be pressed against Mulder. Aware 

of the risks, she stealthily reached for his hand, 

and he gave it immediately. He opened his grip and began 

to stroke her palm with his thumb. She glanced 

quickly around the elevator, searching faces for 

evidence of detection, but she found none. Needing so 

much more than just the touch of his hand, she eased 

their grip towards his upper leg. Untangling her 

fingers from his, she smoothed the fabric of his 

pants in a path towards his inner thigh, and added pressure 

to her touch as she moved upwards. Mulder coughed in 

a way which could only be described as a splutter, 

and Scully instantly stepped in closer to him in an 

attempt to shield her actions from the other 

occupants of the elevator. Several people glanced at them upon 

Mulder's outburst. One man, who Scully thought she 

recognized as an Agent Roperson, went so far as to 

lift his eyebrow fractionally at them, but she stared 

him down and he looked away. She risked a glance at 

Mulder out of the corner of her eye. He had broken 

out in a mild sweat, but she was pleased to ascertain 

that he did not appear to be moving, when, in fact, 

he was moving against her hand. 

Finally the elevator reached their floor and 

without incident the two made their escape towards 

the parking structure. 

All the way through the structure, she 

practically ran, not saying a word, but knowing he 

was close behind her. She stopped at her car door. She 

glanced at him, poised next to his own car door.

"One question remains, then," he said, and 

grinned.

Scully lifted her chin and met his flushed gaze. 

"Your place, or mine?" she asked.

"You have more furniture than I do," he said 

solemnly, and as the words were out of his mouth, 

they were in their respective cars.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

They maintained their distance in the apartment 

elevator. They maintained it in the hallway. They 

held their tongues. Scully opened the door and let 

Mulder walk past her, then walked in, turned, and 

locked the door.

She tossed her things aside as Mulder pounced on 

her, and she met him with her own ferocity. After 

several minutes of reacquaintance, Mulder caught her 

face in his hands and captured her eyes with his own. 

They stood, breathing hard, roaming each others 

depths. 

"How are we gonna make this work?" he asked.

She raised her eyebrows slightly. "You mean, how 

are we going to be able to get through each day, 

without giving in to the hourly compulsion to have 

outrageous sex on the desk?" 

"No, we can do that," he replied almost 

straight-facedly. "Give me a couple days, and I'll 

work out a schedule." He was absently rubbing his 

fingers along her back, and his slight leer gave way 

to intensity. He continued softly. "What I mean is, 

I gave in to my feelings for you long ago, but it was 

your strength that held me in check. I would never 

have made a move until you were ready."

"Strength? Or stubbornness? Or stupidity?" 

Scully mused.

"But I knew that the risk was not greater to me 

for being in love with you, as long as you failed to 

acknowledge it. I was safe, where you shouldered all 

the responsibility. Now that you..." his eyes 

searched hers, "...are *with* me...I have to face 

those dangers. If I were to lose you," he closed his 

eyes a moment, then opened them, "would it have been 

better, or worse, for you to have loved me?"

Looking into his eyes through her tears, Scully 

did not have an answer for him, but she understood 

perfectly the fear he articulated, for it had 

hampered her actions for years. Tracing his features tenderly, 

she replied. "For better or for worse, in the end, I 

don't think we have a choice."

He sighed and then breathed her in. Knowing she 

understood that these were the truest words he would 

ever speak, he said simply, "I love you."

********************************************

oh, ok. so was it everything you expected, or was it 

more? ::grins:: you see, the truth is, i have only 

recently embraced the notion that the relationship 

was consummated during all things. without going into 

details, let me just say that when i finally reached 

this conclusion once and for all (suggesting that i 

had reached it as a pseudo-conclusion in the past, 

but then rejected it) i became re-infatuated with all 

things!!! yay! and a little scene began to play out 

in my head......ahh, well. so i decided to commit it 

to words in a moment of inspiration that lasted the 

duration of the composition!

as a result, this whim became reality, unlike its 

predecessors. and from its original state, it was 

honed into the little work you have just read. 

**MANY** thanks go out to my many 

betas...........::mwah!!!:: i love you guys. i love 

you all, actually, but i must reserve special thanks 

for merey, trace, and rie. also, to lindsay, xime, 

lise, and everybody else i am forgetting---your 

feedback, encouragement, and pointers totally 

sustained me. thank you all for taking me seriously, 

for i know this is just a *little* fic, but dudes, it 

has been my first and i have been in need of your 

constant guidance!!! ::giggles:: 

i thank all of you then--those who have stayed with 

me thus far, those who beta'd, and *especially* those of 

you who will now take the time to drop me a little 

note......you know you wanna, and it's sooo easy! 

~alli~