Title: Inner Light


Author: OKayVal


Email: okayval@yahoo.com


Website: http://donnilee.tripod.com/okayval


Rating:  NC-17


Archive: Honored; just tell me where


Category: RST, Post-Ep


Pairings: Mulder/Scully


Spoilers: Darkness Falls


Disclaimer: Not mine, you know the drill.


Summary:  "A nice trip to the forest, my ass."


Scenes and post-ep for Darkness Falls





Written for Fandomonium's "Virtual Season of Smut"


Challenge. Find the rest of these great stories here:


http://www.fandomonium.com/challenges/xffics/


First%20Fandomonium%20XF%20Fic%20Challenge.htm


Thanks to Fando for a fun challenge and a champagne


toast to Tali for rescuing me yet again.





"Why can't we pantomime, just close our eyes


And sleep sweet dreams


Me and you with wings on our feet


I'm pushing an elephant up the stairs...





--R.E.M., "The Great Beyond"--





***





It felt like I had an elephant sitting on my chest. What


else could possibly be that heavy? I couldn't move,


could barely breathe. My face felt tight. I couldn't remember


the last time I was in this much pain.





I opened my eyes slowly. No elephant after all. But I was


in some sort of clear plastic tent. What kind of fucked up


circus was this? No elephants, just plastic. And white. White


sheets across my body. Not a circus after all; I was lying


in some sort of hospital bed, hooked up to an IV and oxygen.


And I was alone. Alone? Scully--where was Scully? My memory came


flooding back--swarming back, actually--and I grew cold. *Oh god*.


I tried to yell for a nurse, but all that came out was a garbled


croak. *Shit*. I fumbled around the bed for a call button.


Nothing. I yanked on the oxygen tube, trying to pull it


loose and alert someone. Visions flew into my head--finding


Humphreys cocooned inside that truck, his face frozen


into a silent scream--*No! Not Scully!* A nice trip to the


forest, my ass. What the hell had I done?





Finally someone entered the room. I assumed it was a nurse or


a doctor, but it was hard to tell who was inside the white


containment suit, their features all but hidden behind the glare


of a faceplate.





"What's wrong, Agent Mulder?" The voice crackled at me through


a speaker in the suit. I felt like I was in a scene from 'The


Andromeda Strain'.





"Scully, my partner. Where is she?" My voice was barely audible.


Agitated, I tried to get out of bed. My chest burned when I


tried to sit up, and my legs refused to cooperate.





"Agent Scully is here. Please try to stay calm, Agent Mulder."





"She's alive? Where is she?"





"Yes, she's alive." 





*Thank god*. Relief took over, and I sunk back into the pillow,


shaking. 





"I want to see her."





"You're hardly in a position to get out of bed yourself, Agent.


You inhaled a large quantity of some sort of chemical and we're


concerned about respiratory damage. Not to mention the burns.


I was just about to get your test results." 





I raised my hand to my face and felt the scratches there, then


closed my eyes and tried to force that elephant off my chest.


Move, damn it. I mustered enough strength in my aching body to


sit up.  





"I want to see Agent Scully," I said. The doctor looked at me


disapprovingly through his plastic mask but left the room.


I took a better look at my surroundings. I was apparently


in some sort of containment facility. But at least I was alive.


And Scully was alive.





The doctor returned with a portable oxygen tank and


outfitted me for my sojourn. He helped me get my reluctant


body out of the bed and I gingerly made my way across the floor


and through the sheets of plastic to find Scully.





Another tented room. Machines. More white-suited space


nurses. Two beds with figures lying sheathed in white.


The first bed held Ranger Moore; Scully was lying in the second


one. *Oh god*. Her skin was covered in scratches and burns.


Her beautiful, porcelain skin. It was becoming more difficult


not to notice her skin, or the rest of her, for that matter.


I'd recently started to have impure thoughts about my partner


and wasn't quite sure what to do about them. Scully didn't


strike me as the sort of woman who would go for a quick roll


in the hay. More importantly, I valued her as my partner. She


was tough and plucky and smart, and even though she had a hard


time believing some of my theories, she was at least willing to


listen to me. That's more respect than I got from most people.


I didn't want to do anything stupid to screw that up, but it


was getting harder to ignore my growing attraction to her.





In fact, there were moments during our little adventure


in the forest where I couldn't help but stare at her.


The casual clothes and that cute way she wore her hair made


her look more like a college student than a doctor. And that


clipped-back hairstyle allowed me a better view of her pale,


slender neck. I tried to imagine what her skin would taste


like, then mentally kicked myself for even thinking about it.





But there were also the three sleepless nights we shared


in that loggers' cabin, which had only one bedroom. I spent two


of those nights lying on a cot across the room from Scully,


listening to her soft breathing. Wondering if she was actually


asleep. Wondering what she was wearing underneath all those clothes


she was forced to sleep in because she was the lone woman sharing


an isolated cabin with several men.





On the first night, I tried to ignore Humphreys' muffled


snores and keep glancing at Scully, curled up under the


brown wool blanket on her cot. On the second night, Humphreys


had disappeared, but Spinney was there, tossing and turning


in the cot near the door. That night I caught Scully staring


at me. She quickly turned her head and hid her face in the pillow,


but her eyes shone too brightly for me not to have noticed where


their aim had been.





I pushed my fantasies aside in the morning, when the danger


grew imminent and Scully chewed me out for letting Spinney


leave with the last of our gasoline. She was upset that


I made the decision without consulting her, but I realized


later that she was also afraid.





Spinney had not returned, forcing Moore, Scully and me to spend


another night in the cabin. None of us could sleep; we stretched


out on our cots and shared an uneasy silence, staring at the


harsh glow of a lone lightbulb, the one thing we hoped was


keeping the mites away. We soon learned we were not as safe


as we'd thought; when Scully discovered some mites


crawling across her hand, she panicked, flailing her arms


around in terror and nearly shattering that lightbulb. I'd


never seen her so frightened. When I grabbed her and tried


to calm her down, she trembled in my arms. I led her to a cot at


the opposite corner of the room and sat her down.  I held her


until she stopped shaking and insisted she was fine. I could


still sense her fear and embarrassment but I released her anyway.





I knew we'd never get any sleep, so I remained seated next to


Scully on the cot to wait out the dark night with her. We spoke


in soft whispers and she sat very close to me, her body warm


against my side. When she shifted slightly, I felt the unmistakable


curve of her breast graze against my arm, even through the baggy


shirt and vest that concealed it. I tried to ignore the spark of


arousal caused by that small touch and concentrate on what Scully


was saying. I turned my head to hear her better and found her mouth


just inches from mine. Her lips were parted slightly; without


thinking, I brushed them with a kiss, gentle at first, and then


more firmly when she did not pull away. In fact, her lips parted


further, and her hand appeared out of nowhere to rest on my thigh.


My hand came up to the back of her neck and my tongue flicked at


hers. That small spark of arousal caught fire and my groin tightened.





Then Moore coughed, loudly. *Shit*. I'd forgotten all about


him, sitting in the far corner of the bedroom. I broke the kiss


and dropped my hand from Scully's neck, and she removed hers from


my thigh and looked away. But she did not move away. Neither one


of us spoke after that, but we remained close together on the


cot, staring at anything in the room but never looking at each


other until we heard the generator sputter and die. By then it was


dawn and nothing else mattered but getting the hell away from that


place.





We barely made it. The doctors told me that Scully had lost a lot


of fluids; a few more hours in that Jeep and we would not have


survived, would have suffered the same horrible fate as those poor


loggers and everyone else left behind in that forest.





***





Scully and I never spoke about the kiss. Not while we were


being treated in the containment facility. Not during the


plane ride home. Not once. But I kept thinking about it and


wondered if Scully ever thought about it too. 





The doctors cleared us to return to work but Skinner gave


us an extra day off, so I was pleased to see Scully looking


much better when she walked into the office on our first


day back. The scars on her face had nearly healed and she


appeared well-rested.  We made small talk but neither


one of us mentioned the kiss. It was like having an elephant


in the room. I hadn't gotten rid of the one sitting on my chest


after all; he'd followed me home to DC.





Scully was anxious to analyze the samples we'd brought back


from Olympia, so she departed for the lab before lunch,


leaving me on my own. I couldn't decide if she was avoiding


me or truly focused on wrapping up this case. I spent


the day drafting angry reports and tearing them up, frustrated


in my efforts to try and explain my conclusions about where the


mites had come from.  Skinner informed me that Humphreys' company


was disappointed with how the FBI had handled the case, even


though we'd answered the original question of what had happened


to the loggers. 





I finally came up with a version I thought both Skinner and


the logging company would buy, and was putting the finishing


touches on it when Scully returned. It was late and we were both


surprised to find each other still at work.





"Hey Scully, what are you doing here? I thought you were


going straight home from the lab."





"I wanted to finish my report tonight." Her hair was clipped


back and the well-rested look from the morning was gone, replaced


by a furrow in her brow.





She seated herself at the back desk and I watched her rifle through


her notes. That elephant was back, and I tried to figure out how


to get him out of the way. I decided I could start by showing


her the report I'd struggled with. I walked over to the printer


to get the draft I hadn't shredded yet.





Scully's sudden shriek pierced the silence and I spun around


to find her jumping out of her chair as it clattered to the


floor behind her. She nearly tripped over it as she stumbled


away from the desk and toward me.





"Scully! What's wrong?" She propelled herself against me


and I grabbed her arms to steady her. She was shaking, and her


face bore the same frightened look that I'd seen in Olympia Forest.


Her eyes, wide and pale, darted back to the floor beside her chair.





"There! There!" she said. I kept hold of her with one arm and


bent down to study the floor where she pointed. At first


I couldn't see anything. Then a small brown ant crawled into view


and I understood.





"It's nothing, Scully. It's just an ant. ONE ant." I stuck out


my foot and stomped on it. "See?" I removed my foot and she


stared at the brown splat on the floor. Beneath my grip, I felt the


tension in her arms subside.





"Oh god, I'm sorry, Mulder. I guess I'm still just a little skittish


about bugs."





I pulled her closer, giving her a reassuring hug.  She glanced


around, looking back toward the floor again, as if to make sure


there really wasn't anything swarming down there.





"Scully, it's okay. You have nothing to be embarrassed about."





"I know, Mulder," she said softly, measuring me with azure eyes.


"I just shouldn't let it get to me like that."





"Don't be so hard on yourself. We both nearly died out there.


Look how many people DID die. I was afraid, too. There was nothing


normal about what happened to us in that forest. There's nothing


normal about the X-Files. Not even me. You should have figured


that out by now."





She managed a grin and I gave her another hug and brushed my lips


against her soft hair. Her scent was intoxicating and she felt


so warm in my arms. And this time there was nobody else in the


room. Just the two of us. And that goddamned elephant. I moved


my lips from her hair and brought my mouth down to hers. I waited


for her to pull away but instead she welcomed me, nipping at my


bottom lip. I accepted her invitation and my tongue sought hers


eagerly.





Scully's hands roamed across my back, her fingers leaving


fiery sparks that I felt even through my cotton shirt, felt all


the way to my groin.





"This is probably not a good idea," I mumbled against her mouth.





"No," she said, more of a gasp than a word.





My blood simmered. This was crazy. I was playing with dynamite.


But I was rock hard and there was no turning back now. I let my


mouth feast on her lips and along her neck, at last tasting


the sweetness of her skin. I slid my hand up her sweater


and cupped one of her breasts, feeling warm flesh and the peak of


her nipple even through her bra. She whimpered, a soft sound


of arousal; I ground myself against her, my erection urgently


prodding against her soft belly, until her whimper became a gasp.





We kissed and groped each other, with wild hands and mouths,


teetering backwards until Scully bumped against the desk.


I lifted her up and set her on the desktop, scattering her


carefully arranged notes to the floor. Scully was too busy


clutching at my belt buckle to notice and I had more important


things to occupy myself with. I slipped my hand under her skirt


and slid it along her thighs, covered in silky nylon. She squirmed


and jerked her hips at me until my hand was directly at the warm


juncture between her legs. I pressed against her, felt her wetness


even through the layers of fabric that blocked my way. *Your partner


is wet for you--holy shit*. She let out a soft moan and continued


working at my belt. Those skilled hands of hers soon had my zipper


open and she tried to wrap her small fingers around my hard cock.


I yanked my pants and boxers down and she zeroed in on her target.





When her fingers encircled my cock, my brain short-circuited


and my body took over. I clawed at her nylons--I don't even know how


I got them off but somehow they ended up on the floor and I was


able to push her skirt up and slide her panties down. One of us


mumbled something about a condom but neither of us stopped to


find one. Rational thought had ceased. There was only heat and need.





I stepped between her spread thighs and slipped inside her, just


a little. Her eyes gleamed and I pushed further. *God*. The heat


of her. She was slick and sure, and I wanted to bury myself in her.


I began to move faster; Scully moaned and started making little


circles with her hips, immersing me in her liquid heat. She felt


fucking amazing.





Still recovering from the injuries that left us both weakened,


our bodies raced towards release; my strokes quickened and


Scully tightened around me, so smooth, so hot. Her eyes closed


and her mouth slackened, and she panted out little rapid huffs


of air.





"Let go," I whispered, and thrust deeper. Her fingers dug into


my skin and I felt her vibrate beneath me as her orgasm spiraled


through her. The sensation of her walls coiling around my cock


was intense and I came, spilling into her hard and fast as I


tumbled over the edge.





When I could breathe again, I realized we were sprawled across


the desktop, still wearing most of our clothes. Scully peered


at me through half-closed, azure eyes. She gave me a tiny smile


but as I slid out of her and shifted my weight, her eyes widened


as she realized what had just happened. Her smile vanished;


she pushed at my chest until I moved off of her, and she sat up and


scrambled off the desk.





"I have to go," she muttered, tearing away from me. She


pulled her skirt down, grabbed for her shoes and skidded out


of the room, a wild blur.





*Shit*. What the hell was this? My pants and boxers were bunched


around my ankles; I pulled them back up and started toward the


door.





"Scully! Wait!"





I stepped into the hallway. The door to the restroom was closed


and I knew she'd sought safe haven inside.





"Scully!"  She did not answer me.





I assumed that she would not emerge if she thought I was waiting


for her, so I went back into the office and closed the door.


I waited behind it, and soon heard the restroom door open and the


click of Scully's heels as she sped down the hallway.  When I heard


the ding of the elevator, I slunk back to my desk, picking up her


discarded pantyhose which were lying in a jumble on the floor. I ran


the nylon fabric through my fingers and contemplated the fact that


I had just screwed my partner. On a desk. I put my head down and


shut my eyes.


 


I became aware of a dull ache drumming through my body, which


made no sense until I opened my eyes and realized I had fallen


asleep at my desk, Scully's pantyhose still wound around


my hands. I glanced at my watch; it was after eight o'clock


in the morning already, and Scully would soon be here. I


considered going home to change but decided that I needed


to be here when she arrived. I rolled her nylons into a ball


and tossed them in my drawer, not wanting anyone else to find them.


I hurried into the restroom to clean up as best I could without a


shower, shave or change of clothes.





Scully arrived on schedule, and I watched her every move as she


removed her coat and set her briefcase down. She really was


beautiful. Had I always thought so? I'm sure she knew I was


staring at her, but she kept her eyes focused on a glaring


reminder from last night--her lab notes, still strewn across the


floor. Damned elephant was apparently still here, too. Did I


fuck things up by fucking her?





"Good morning, Scully." I tried to sound bright and friendly.


Apparently I overdid it, because she looked at me warily.





"Good morning." She paused, taking in my disheveled appearance.


"Mulder, did you spend the night here?"





"Yep.  You wouldn't happen to have an electric shaver in your


purse, would you? Or a clean shirt?"





She ignored my attempt at levity and approached my desk,


arms folded across her chest.





"Mulder," she began carefully, and I knew she'd rehearsed whatever


she was about to say.  Good. At least one of us had thought about


it. I had no idea what I was going to say to her.





"I'm sorry," she continued, "sorry for my outburst yesterday and


sorry for leading you on."





"Leading me on? Is that what you think happened here?" I replied.


"Remember it takes two, Scully. I seem to recall being a very


willing participant."





"Whatever. It was reckless, and I'm sorry if I put you in an


awkward position."





"Nothing awkward about it..." I bit back my remark, sensing that


glibness would only make things more difficult. She looked rather


miserable but was trying to remain composed. I regrouped.





"Scully, look. Maybe I'm the one that should apologize, even though


I think both of us were a little out of control. Maybe I got turned


on by being the big, protective male. But that doesn't change the


fact that I nearly got you killed out there in that forest."





"It wasn't your fault, Mulder."





"Not directly, but I still feel responsible.  You can see that


bad things follow me around." Then a thought occurred to me; maybe


Scully was going to use last night as an excuse to leave. That's not


what I wanted at all.





"Scully, is this your way of telling me that you want to leave


the X-Files?"





"Of course not, Mulder. I still want to be your partner. I just


want you to know that I will behave more professionally from


now on."





"You mean no more down and dirty in the office? I agree,


this isn't the best place for..."





"No more down and dirty, period, Mulder," she interrupted. "We're


partners. It's not right."





"Right has nothing to do with it, Scully. It seems to be something


we both wanted."





Scully's eyes flickered at the word "both," and I sensed that she


was reconsidering something she'd thought was already decided.





"I still want to be your partner, Mulder," she repeated.


"I think that comes first, before anything else."





"So what are you suggesting? Do we pretend this never happened?


Never talk about it? Like that kiss in Olympia?"





"That might be best, Mulder," she said.





"Well, I can pretend. But I won't forget." I told her


softly. Her eyes turned azure again and she gave me a long


look. Before she could say anything, I got up from the desk


and left the room, granting her wish to end the discussion.


I really didn't want to lose her as a partner, so if this was


the way she wanted it, I was going to respect her decision. 





I went home to change and when I returned, Scully briskly asked


whether I had finished my report on Olympia Forest. I retrieved the


copy which was still sitting in the printer and handed it to her


without a word. We worked through the rest of the day barely


speaking to each other. That fucking elephant was making himself


at home.





I tried to ignore the growing tension, but when Scully donned


her coat to leave and offered a hurried "Good night, Mulder,"


I couldn't stand it anymore.





"Scully, can I ask you one question?"





She stopped buttoning her coat and waited for me to continue.


I found myself staring at her mouth and wishing I could taste her


lips again.





"If I wasn't your partner, well..." I stopped and held my hand


up, hoping she'd understand what I was trying to say.  Apparently


I was very clear; she blushed furiously and gave me a tiny smile.





After she left, I sat for a long while, tossing pencils at the


ceiling and thinking. Ignoring things was not going to work. There


was no way I could be around her now without remembering how


incredible it felt to be inside her, how amazing she looked when


I made her come.  And I wanted to feel that again, to see her


like that again. Why couldn't we make this work?





Glancing at a file I'd been reading earlier, I reached for the


phone and dialed a number I knew by heart. She answered on the


first ring.





"Hey, Scully, it's me. I've just received some new information


on Tooms' parole date, and I think we need to go over it.


I'm on my way over now to drop off the file so you can start


looking at it."





I smiled at her reply, then hung up the phone and rose to leave,


the file tucked safely under my arm. There's more than one way to


get rid of an elephant.





***


Finis


***





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