Final Entry


By Shawen Greer


Rating:   G MSR, Angst


Summary:  Post Closure-Mulder's final thoughts, after the


episode.


SPOILERS:   Closure and a vague reference to Bad Blood


Distribution:  Anywhere as long as my name and email remain


attached.  But I would like to know where.


Disclaimer:  They don't belong to me, yadda yadda yadda, CC


Fox and 1013, yadda yadda yadda


Feedback:  gratefully accepted at shawen@altavista.com


The Hall of 'X' www.geocities.com/Area51/Quasar/8840











FBI Headquarters


8:25 pm





He held the tattered book in his pensive hands rubbing the 


faded spots of the deep blue cover, as the contents of her 


thick case file fanned out covering the top of his desk.  He 


had spent more than half of his life looking for those dark 


pigtails and that innocent smile that he remembered so 


vividly.  Though taunted by fabrications of her, grown and 


beautiful, his search had remained for that little girl who 


haunted his memories.





He carefully opened the cover and turned each wrinkled page, 


yellow with age, and read her thoughts again, though the 


words were already etched into his mind.  Her voice narrated 


the story, and sorrow filled his heart as he shared her fear and 


her pain in their escalation to hatred towards the men who 


were responsible.





        "I think I had a brother with dark hair"





A solitary tear slid slowly down his cheek and continued its 


downward spiral until it landed in a small splash at


 


        "I hope someday he reads this"





He released the breath he unconsciously had been holding as 


his tired body sank back into his chair, turning his thoughts to 


a faraway place he had visited just a few days ago.  It was a 


magical place where children laughed and played without fear 


or consequence, where his sister could be at peace and 


unafraid.





Scully had returned to the clearing with him and he told her 


of the children he had seen, laughing and playing, destined 


forever to be children.  He told her how his little sister who he 


had searched so long for ran into his open arms, and though 


she spoke no audible words, she shared with him answers that 


his heart yearned to know.


 


She thanked him for his unselfish heart and his determination 


to find her, as they were able to express the love for each 


other that they had not had the opportunity to share before.  


She told him that he didn't have to worry about her any 


longer, that she was safe and happy, and that it was time for 


him to let her go.  She wanted him to start living, for her as 


well as for himself, and to let love guide him and show him 


the way with the promise that she would always be with him 


always even if he was not aware of her presence.





He could still feel her hands on his face as her final words 


still haunted him, profound in their simplicity. "Fox, she 


loves you.  You're free now, go to her and be happy."  With 


that, her arms had tightened around him one final time.  She 


kissed his cheek before she ran to join the other children that 


waited for her and he watched as little Amber Lynn took his 


sister's hand, and they ran together into the tree line.  They 


stopped only for a moment to look back with beaming smiles 


and wave goodbye, the little one blowing him a kiss.





At the end of his tale, he turned his attention to Scully who 


was seated in the soft grass, shadowed by the moonlight as it 


cast shades of blue over them and the surrounding earth.  


Only then did he notice the glistening of the moon's 


reflection in the silent tears that streamed down her cheeks.  


With little effort, he fell to the ground and took her in his 


arms and held her as she cried.





After some time, she wiped her eyes and sniffed, "I'm so 


sorry, Mulder." 





He let out a soft, comforting laugh and again pulled her to 


him.  "You have nothing to be sorry about.  You don't always 


have to be the strong one, Scully."





"I just wanted so desperately for you to be re-united with 


your sister even though logic told me how improbable that 


was."  Her voice was quiet and shaky, and he knew that she 


still battled tears that she willed not to fall.





"But we were together, Scully.  She was here, and she is at 


peace.  I don't have to worry about her anymore.  She's safe."  


He felt her nod against his chest and then she pulled away 


blinking back the tears.





If he closed his eyes now he could still see his partner sitting 


there in the moonlight, her hair deepened in the dim light, the 


shadows enhancing her delicate features.  Overcome by the 


moment and filled with an inner strength he had searched a 


very long time for, he had slowly leaned over and kissed her.  


It was a soft kiss at first as their lips brushed together, but it 


quickly intensified into the passion that he had restrained for 


so long as their mouths sought out each other needing more.  


Before he realized what was happening, he leaned Scully 


slowly back into the blanket of green bringing his own weight 


above her.  





Realizing the necessity to put a halt to the moment whiles he 


still could, he shifted slightly taking a place in the grass next 


to her, still holding her in his arms.  The stars were brilliant in 


the dark sky above and they lay together silently, wondering 


about the possibility that the souls of Samantha and the other 


children looked down on them from the skies, or was that just 


poetic expression formulated by grieving adults.  In either 


case, there was a oneness in this place unlike they had ever 


shared before.  





The air turned damp and chilly as the night continued to settle 


around them, hastening their departure.  They had walked 


hand in hand back to the car neither of them mentioning the 


events that had just taken place.  Though now there seemed to 


be a difference in their relationship, still no mention had been 


made of that night as if discussion would mar the dreamlike 


effect of the memory.





The building had emptied earlier, which was typical for a 


Friday evening, and the basement was solemn in its silence.  


Scully had been at the Forensics Lab in Quantico all day, so 


most of his afternoon had been spent much like it was now, in 


quiet reflection and solitude.  His thoughts finally complete, 


he turned to a clean lined sheet in the book and added his 


scratchy black handwriting to the blue ink of his sister's from 


so long ago.














"For so many years I have seen you in my dreams, the 


trusting little girl that I knew from my childhood, and 


always as I reached out to touch you, you were gone.  


Always drifting away from me like a wave of the sea, 


drifting into arms reach only to be pulled back again 


by the controlling tide."





"Though somehow my heart gave me the strength and 


the courage to go on, knowing that someday I would 


find you.  I believed though in the shadows of 


everyone's doubt that we would be re-united one day 


and that I would have the answers to the questions that 


I so desperately sought."





"And when my faith had been tested to the point that I 


was sure that I could not go on, you found me.  No 


longer the shy little girl of my memories, but a strong 


and determined young woman aged beyond her years 


having faced more than your share of adversity in 


your short time on earth."





"Finally your spirit is free to laugh and play, instead 


of filled with the endless heartache and loneliness you 


must have faced in this life.  Did some Divine Spirit 


accompany you from this cruel world?  Were you 


ushered into peace and contentment by angels of 


light?"





"Though many of my questions remain unanswered 


still, the one true query of my soul has been satisfied.  


I can now rest in your peace and live in your spirit, for 


I know that you are happy and that you are safe at last.  


My heart will still grieve for all that you have missed 


in this life, and that we have not been able to share 


this road together.  Yet somehow I know that we will 


be together again someday, free to be children and 


recapture all that was stolen from us so long ago."





"Until that day, I remain as always, your loving and 


devoted brother."











The tears blurred the page before him, though they were not 


of sorrow.  For the first time in his life, he felt the release of 


the heavy burden he carried.  Though his heart was somber at 


the confirmation of her mortality, his spirit was at rest, certain 


now of her subsistence in a place beyond the stars instead of 


among them.





There was a click from the latch as the door opened slightly, 


allowing a wedge of light into the dimly lit room and he 


recognized her small silhouette as she entered.





"I thought I'd find you here." she said quietly.  "Are you ok, 


Mulder?"





"I'm fine, Scully, just fine."   he offered, unable to resist the 


feeling of vague satisfaction at the offering of her routine 


assertion.





"I'm starving, want to get a bite to eat?  I could really go for 


pizza."





He could hear his sister whispering in his ear, or was it just 


the memory, "She loves you, you know," echoed again and 


again as he stared at his beautiful partner, hands impatiently 


on her shapely hips and her head tilted slightly to the side, 


waiting for his answer.





"Well, are you coming?"





He laughed and shook his head, "You know, Scully, you have 


this thing about autopsies and pizza.  You scare me."  The last 


part offered as an exaggerated whisper.





Obviously less than amused by his observation, she turned on 


her heel as if to leave.  "Fine, then don't come."





This only brought more laughter from her devilish partner 


and he finally conceded.  "Ok, ok.  Give me just a minute."





"What are you doing?" she asked as she wandered a little 


closer to his desk.





"Just tying up some loose ends."  he said, as he placed the 


papers back inside the open folder and reverently closed the 


front cover.  With a final mark of his pen, he wrote the word 


"CLOSED", his initials, and the date and expertly pitched it 


into the "OUT" box behind his desk before Scully was close 


enough to see the name on the case file.





He carefully placed the diary in the duffel bag that was next 


to his desk and threw it and his coat over one arm, saving the 


other to rest at Scully's waist as they walked together out of 


the office in search of dinner and whatever was to follow.