Title: Dreams Author: Elizabeth L. Iacono Rating: PG Category: Story, Romance, Humor Keywords: Mulder/Scully Romance Spoilers: Ascension, Detour, The End, FTF, Triangle, Arcadia Summary: Scully decides she wants to get to know Mulder better. This is a cross between a post-ep for Arcadia and another idea I had for Mulder seeing a different side of Scully. This side of Scully may seem out of character, but this is the side of her that isn't seen on screen, so it just might be totally different. I also remember reading that Gillian Anderson has Her belly button pierced, so I kinda worked that in. That and the fact I couldn't resist using the song 'Dreams' by the Cranberries in another fanfic. Feedback: Please? I'm pretty new at doing first person stories. The addy is RhiaRamsay@aol.com Disclaimer: Hmmm, this is a really tough question. Is the answer 'They are mine.'? BZZZZZZZZ!!!! Sorry wrong answer. The correct answer is Scully, Mulder, and anyone else connected with the TV show 'The X-Files' belongs to CC, 1013, and Fox. Rhia McIntyre is mine, though. Dreams Elizabeth L. Iacono Would it be so bad? To be married to Mulder, I mean. We just finished up a case where we had to go undercover as husband and wife. For days we lived in the same house, ate our meals together, basically did almost everything as a couple. And you know what? I liked it. I mean really liked it. Liked it enough to want it to happen again and again. There's so many things I want us to do together besides work. The little things, like going for a walk, or enjoying some quiet time just with each other. Or using my bed for something other than sleeping. Okay, I can't deny, at least to myself, that I want him. To others though, I'm pretty sure the phrase 'just friends' came up more than once. So what if I was lying through my teeth... See, what I really want is to get to know Mulder. Not the part of him that he shows for work, that's a shell, just like my own. Not the part of him that for some reason trusts Diana the Fowl over me. That's another sore point, I'm not letting him off the hook for that one so easily; I'm still pissed off. But I think a little of that anger seeped into my portrayal of 'Laura Petrie' when I should have been enjoying the situtation for all it was worth, and so I was a little cold towards Mulder. Hey, six years of carefully built trust shattered by that-that-person coming into our lives and I'm going to be a little mad. What I want to get to know is the part of him that cuts work to go play basketball with the guys, the part away from work. We're each other's best friends, we know almost everything about each other-except for the little things. I don't know what his favorite color is, favorite food, little things like that. I bet I could make a pretty good guess from what I know of him already, but I'd much rather hear it directly from his mouth, that truly gorgeous mouth. To be perfectly fair he doesn't know the little things about me either, but I'm more than willing to open up. Like about my car. Ever since the good old days (my God, did I really just say that?) at Maryland University I've had a black 1968 Mustang Convertible. And, yes, I know enough about car maintenance to keep it in good condition. That car has been with me through almost everything. It's a great stress relief to go driving with the top down. I used it during my Med School finals, when I had broken up with Jack Willis, the numerous times I believed Mulder was dead, when I found out I had cancer, when I found out I was in remission, you get the idea. There is nothing better than speeding along with the music that fits the mood. That's another thing Mulder doesn't know about me-my passion for music. Hey, he has his videos, I've got my music. So what if I can't sing, it's just one of those things. Music has been an influence ever since I was a little kid. I've no clue why. My parents weren't really music fans, the only records they had was the one of 'Beyond the Sea' and various Christmas albums. Otherwise they usually just flipped on the radio. I've got a rather substantial collection right now-everything from old Chicago ones to the Beastie Boys Licensed To Ill (that one was a gift, but it's good for a laugh) to the soundtrack to the Little Mermaid (I happen to like that movie. It's truly romantic) and Hole's newest, Celebrity Skin (another gift, but I took a liking to it). Speaking of music, it's been over two weeks since I've been to Raven, a little music store halfway between my home and Mulder's where I get all my music. I should check in with Rhia to see what the new releases are. Rhiannon McIntyre, better known as Rhia, is the cashier at Raven's, and probably one of my closest woman friends. We met a little over four years ago, right after I'd returned from my abduction. Rhia was the new cashier, 18 years old and in the middle of her freshman year at Georgetown. We hit it off quite well, actually Rhia is applying for Quantico after she gets her masters in psychology. If she goes in for the job of profiler, she'd be a match for most in the division, but I don't think anyone'll ever beat Mulder in that department. She asked a lot of questions about the FBI, but in return she also helped me loosen up a little. I've now learned the value of spending a good girls night out at a club. It can be very good for stress release too, although none of the guys I see there, while very good looking and more than willing to get to know me, can ever compare to Mulder. She was a big help to me after my cancer. After being so prepared to die it was hard learning how to live again. But Rhia managed to pull me out of my little funk, which Mulder didn't even pick up on (which in retrospect I'm actually grateful for), and drag me out for a day of shopping. I usually don't like shopping that much, but that day we just had fun. It felt good to be alive again. I remember Mulder's face when I walked in the next day. He looked surprised and very happy to see me looking happier than I'd been in weeks. Though I wonder what he would have said if he saw my newly pierced belly button, which luckily does not set off metal detectors. I guess it was just another step in our dance. For years we'd dance, getting closer and pushing each other away in a long winding pattern. Right now we're trying to become closer once more. This last case brought it to the forefront and pointed out to me that in order to end this dance we were going to have to become closer than ever before. And I am most certainly looking forward to the challenge. I'm nearly certain he feels the same way, he did tell me 'I love you' once, and even though at the time I was trying to convince myself he was drugged, I know perfectly well he wasn't. I guess I just wasn't ready then. But I'm ready now. I hope to God he is. Of course I'm going to run this by Rhia first. She'll either talk me out of it or kick me in the ass right to his doorstep. Probably option number two. She's been muttering the words 'Kiss him already you fool' under her breath whenever I'd bring the subject of Mulder up. I looked down at myself in a pair of boxers and a T-shirt. It's 7 p.m. Saturday night, all I had planned was seeing Ben Affleck guest host Saturday Night Live and a big tub of Cookie Dough ice cream. I hauled myself off the couch and walked into my bedroom. If I was going to go out, even if it was just to Raven, I might as well look good doing it. First, I tossed open the window to check the temperature. At the first gust of wind I slammed it back down again. It was way too cold to wear anything skimpy. Skimpy? a little voice piped up in my conscience. Who are we really dressing for here, Dana? it asked. Could it be someone by the name of Fox Mulder, maybe? I rubbed my forehead. It was too late for denial. If I was going to go through with this I should be honest. Of course I was dressing for him, I was going to go over to his apartment, regardless of who else could be in there (but I highly doubted that, we both lived the lives of monks) and tell him how I felt about him. And a little added benefit of a knockout outfit couldn't hurt at all. After a good fifteen minutes debating with myself (that's longer than I usually spend getting ready for work) I found a decent outfit. It was a pair of slim bootleg jeans with a fitted black blouse with three quarter sleeves that was unbuttoned halfway so you could see my stomach and the piercing. Next-makeup. As a general rule I never wear a lot of makeup, it just feels weird on my face. But I have found that using just some powder to cover up those damn freckles, some black liquid eyeliner, mascara, and the perfect shade of dark red lipstick with a golden shimmer to it works wonders for me. I looked at myself one last time in the mirror, and grinned. I didn't look like Dana Scully, FBI Agent anymore. I looked like just Dana Scully. Though I bet you could attach the phrase 'woman in love' to the end of that and it would still be perfect. "Mulder's never going to know what hit him," I said out loud to the empty bedroom, and walked to the front door. I pulled my own black leather jacket out of the closet by the door. It actually looks quite like Mulder's. Coincidence? Maybe. But if you buy that then you've got the bridge real cheap too. Yep, Dana Scully was a woman head over heels in love. In the garage that I rented my car was still there, luckily not stolen by any of the shady characters that roam the Annapolis area. Judging by the fact that I could see my breath constantly, this was not the night to go driving with the top down. I was out to change my future with Mulder, I didn't need to face it with a runny nose and sneezing. I pulled out into the street and headed towards Raven. I smiled into the light of the taillights of the cars ahead of me. Deep inside I knew today was the day my life was going to change. For the better. I reached over to the CD Player I had installed into the older car. Pushing the button I finally decided on the Hole CD. At first the speakers were silent, but then the sound swelled and an electric guitar played a short length of sound. "Oh make me over I'm all I wanna be, A walking study In Demonology" Before I could control myself I began singing along. I paused for a second, but then figured no one else was here, why the hell shouldn't I sing? Besides, the last time I really sang was for Mulder in the Florida woods, and then I had sung truly horribly on purpose for making me sing in the first place. By the time 'Malibu' finished, I pulled up in front of Raven. It looks pretty nondescript on the outside, one glass window next to the door, set on the ground level of a small apartment building. The owner of Raven, Jeff Riviera, lived on the top floors. I brought the car around to the alley next to the apartment building. It was probably the safest place to park it, even though we were in a pretty upscale area. I'm allowed to be paranoid. I think it's a nice car and I bet there are plenty of other people who think so too. I pushed open the door, setting the wind chime tacked onto there ringing. Rhia looked up from her perch behind the counter with a slightly weary expression, but then changed into an actual smile. "Hey Dana!" she cried out. "How ya doing?" Looking at the younger girl I began to smile again, an expression familiar on my face tonight. Then I got a better look at Rhia. Her hair was yet another color, this time a dark blue-black that contrasted sharply against her Irish skin. I think her original color was something close to mine, but she's changed it so many times since I've known her I forget which is which. "I have to check the new releases," I said, going behind the counter and sliding myself onto a stool identical to Rhia's. Rhia bent over and pulled out a sheet of paper. "Okay, here you go, but be warned, there's not much that's real good this time," she grimaced. "That's okay, I've got to talk to you anyway," I said and set the paper down on the counter. "About what," she said with a slight grin in her voice. She must have caught the gleam in my eyes when I walked in the door because she immediately followed my line of thinking. "This is about Mulder, isn't it?" I just nodded. I had no clue how the hell I was going to tell her this one. I had never admitted to her that I was in love with him. Wanting to jump his bones-that's pure lust. But love... She placed her hand over mine comfortingly. "What happened?" she asked softly. I exhaled sharply and began to relay our adventures as a married couple in Stepfordville. When I finished I slumped against wall bonelessly, almost falling off the stool. I wasn't up for interpretation then, but Rhia forged ahead and gave me her opinion. "So what you're basically saying is that you liked pretending to be married to him, and maybe want to give that a try in real life. If not marriage then a real relationship." I arched an eyebrow at her. "Close to that." I was incredibly grateful she hadn't brought up the topic of love. I might be ready to admit it to myself and to Mulder but to no one else. I could tell Rhia was dying to ask me some more questions but I'm sure the look on my face prevented her. "You know, you need some music that reminds you of Mulder right now," she said. I groaned and began to rub my forehead. "Look, your feelings obviously have to do with him, that's a given, so maybe this might help you work through your thoughts. What was that song you said reminded you of him?" "'Nobody but Me', and it wasn't the whole song, just certain parts," I said, trying to stop her, but before I could protest anymore Rhia put the Save Ferris disk in. The song began and I let my mind drift on the sounds of the ska music. "I was on the outside Trying to find my way back in You were the answer I was searching for, my friend Life is crazy when you're Always in your own It's amazing when you Realize that you're not alone I should have known A long time ago that You were the one for me I let my ego bring me down And that's what blinded me Life is crazy when you Don't know what you've done And I'm a fool to think that There could be Someone else When I know There's no other one I said baby What are you doing Who are you fooling Nobody but me I said baby Give me some time To change your mind Come back to me I was nothing before you But I became so strong When everything was going right I had to make it wrong Life is crazy When you let things slip away And now I'm sorry Ever since the day You went away I didn't mean to hurt you so I never wanted you to go Now there's nothing I can do I spend my time Late at night Thinking only, about you I said baby What are you doing Who are you fooling Nobody but me I said baby Give me some time To change your mind Come back to me Ever since you went away I haven't been the same Now there's nothing I can do I was on the outside Tryin' to find my way Back in And now I'm right back There again Life is crazy when you Find you're all alone But now maybe You can change your mind And come back home to me Come back to me Oh baby won't you Please come back" XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX As the song played on I realized it reflected different points in both our lives-from what happened to Mulder during my abduction, to what Mulder told me in his hallway over the summer, to the what could have been if I ever really did leave him (something that was highly unlikely at this point). That thought brought a grin to my face, which Rhia spotted. "Feeling better?" she commented. "Yeah," I said, sitting up a little straighter. "That song fits both of us." "Maybe that's what attracted you to the song in the first place," Rhia said. "Maybe," I agreed. I noticed Rhia had a bit of an apprehensive look on her face. "What is it?" I said, knowing she was up to something. "It's just an idea. There's another song you I want you to listen to. I think from what you've told me it just might help." "You're not the practicing shrink yet," I muttered. "And if I make it into Quantico I never will be. Please?" she begged me. I rolled my eyes. What harm could listening to a song do? (I would regret that thought later.) "Fine." Rhia grinned gleefully, and I became wary. "Okay, have you ever heard of the album 'Everyone else is doing it, so why can't we?' by the Cranberries?" I shook my head. "Is that their latest album?" I had the rest of the Cranberries albums except for that one, and I began to wonder why I didn't. But I later realized, that maybe, just maybe I'd just heard of it now because it was the right time, because one of the songs on there was going to change my life in a very big way, or at least make me realize what I had to do in order to change it. "Actually, it's from '93. Don't worry, if you like the song we've got a few copies of it here. Now the song is called 'Dreams'. Just sit back and listen." A bit, reluctantly I took her advice and closed my eyes, letting the music sink into my head. "Oh, my life Is changing every day In every possible way And, oh, my dreams It's never quiet as it seems Never quiet as it seems I know I've felt like this before But now I'm feeling it even more Because it came from you Then I open up and see The person falling here is me A different way to be I want more Impossible to ignore Impossible to ignore And they'll come true Impossible not to do Impossible not to do And now I tell you openly You have my heart so don't hurt me You're what I couldn't find A totally amazing mind So understanding and so kind You're everything to me Oh, my life Is changing every day In every possible way And, oh, my dreams Is never quiet as it seems Cause you're a dream to me Dream to me." When the song ended and I heard Rhia click the off button my eyes shot open. Before I could get any words out Rhia said them for me. "You love him, don't you?" "Yeah, I do," I said quietly, not believing I had admitted that to anyone besides Mulder. Rhia let out a full-fledged grin. "It's about time you realized what I've known for years." "Where the hell did you come up with that?" I said angrily. At that point in time, I was sure I'd only been in love with Mulder since last May when Diana the bitch first arrived and I realized my feelings of jealousy were more than the jealousy of just a really good friend. Rhia shook her head, rolling her eyes skyward. "I've heard you talk about this guy for years. The words you use, what you say he does, hell, even the way you look when you talk about him! It's like looking at person so deeply in love it's incredible. Even when you're royally pissed off at the guy you get this look in your eyes. It's like that line from the Princess Bride: "True love is the greatest thing in the world." I think that's what you're feeling. You've had feelings for him for much longer than you think you have. But for some reason you've had trouble admitting it. It's called denial, a defense mechanism." "-mechanism," I chimed in on the last word. "I have admitted it to myself. If I hadn't I wouldn't be sitting here having this conversation with you. I haven't admitted it to him because of damned FBI rules and regs," I began to yell, maybe to convince myself of it. "Whoa, calm down, Dana," Rhia soothed. "I didn't mean to get you so riled. One question though, how hot exactly is this guy? What you've told me in the past was really vague. I want details." I began to grin. This was one question I could most certainly answer. At that moment the chime on the door rang out, and someone walked in and began to look through the aisles farthest from the counter. "Ooh, what a hottie," I heard Rhia mutter. As a purely unconscious reflex I looked towards where her eyes were--and stopped cold. I'd know that brown hair, that nose and that gorgeous mouth anywhere. Call it fate, destiny, karma, whatever, something had just caused Fox Mulder to walk into where I was preparing to make one of the biggest decisions of my life. By this point my brain cells were a little short circuited on romance and good music, so I did what any self respecting FBI agent in love with her partner does. I hid. I slid off the stool quickly and crouched under the counter. Rhia glanced down at me with a puzzled look on her face. "What's wrong?" she said soft enough for only me to hear over the music. I made a vague gesture with my hand in the direction of Mulder. "It's him!" I whispered harshly. "Him who?" Rhia asked, puzzled. I shot her a look that could have melted lead as the dawning realization began to show on her face. "That's Mulder?" she said incredulously. I nodded. "You've worked with that gorgeous man for this many years and you've never told me how damn hot he looks?" "I have!" I whispered fiercely. "Maybe I should call him over here," Rhia muttered with an evil grin on her face. I grabbed her foot desperately. "No! Please!" (note: this is the only time in my life I have ever begged for anything) "On one condition." "What?" I said, hoping for a reprieve. "As soon as he leaves, you go to his home, and tell him exactly how you feel. "Deal!" I whispered. Actually, that was what I was planning to do anyway, so it worked out better for me. I sat back against the counter and relaxed slightly. This was one of those things tossed into the situation that I just did not need. There was no way I was going to tell Mulder I loved him in a public place. After a few seconds though I wondered what Mulder was doing. I was very tempted to have Rhia give me a second by second update of his actions, but then I realized she would have way too much fun with that. Looking up at the ceiling I spotted the mirror perched in the corner so that Jeff could be his usual paranoid self about robbers. I could see Mulder but Mulder could most certainly not see me. So I sat back and watched. Mulder-watching has become one of my favorite pastimes. I was watching Mulder wander around the various aisles when I noticed Rhia moving around above my head. When I realized she was just changing the music (something she did quite often throughout the day) I relaxed. And then I tensed up once more when I realized which song she was putting on. Dreams. A song that fits my feelings for Mulder pretty well. I kicked the leg of Rhia's stool and she just grinned evilly at me. I must remember to hurt her later. But then I saw Mulder's reaction. Through the mirror I saw him standing there listening with his head cocked to the side in deep concentration. Maybe the words were getting to him as much as they got to me. Okay, maybe I won't hurt Rhia later. When the song ended I saw Mulder began to walk over in the direction of the counter. I scooted as far back under the counter to avoid being seen. Not seconds later Rhia began her spiel. "Hello, Sir, how can I help you?" she said sweetly. "Hi. Uh, what's the name of that song you just had on?" Mulder asked a little hesitantly. I began to grin. Hopefully he realized what the words meant just as I did. "It's called 'Dreams', by the Cranberries. Would you like me to get it for you?" Rhia asked with a grin on her face I was hoping Mulder wouldn't be able to interpret. Although I knew perfectly well what that shit-eating grin meant. "That's okay, I can find it myself," Mulder said. "What aisle is it in?" "Aisle three," Rhia said. "Thanks," Mulder said, and then walked off back into the store. Rhia glanced down at me with another evil smile on her face. "As soon as he leaves I'll go after him," I placated her quickly. Which is exactly what I did. When Mulder left the store I waited five minutes so I wouldn't look like I was following him and to get my wits together. I was so damned nervous my hands were shaking. Fifteen minutes later I was sitting outside Mulder's apartment building. He was home; there was a small light on the apartment. I can always tell which apartment was his because he never bothered to clean off the gunk on the windows from all his questions to another shadowy contact. Finally I took a deep breath and got out of the car. There was no turning back now. I got to his door and saw the gleaming brass numbers in front of my nose. Tentatively I raised a hand to knock. The knock itself sounded rather pitiful, but it got his attention. He pulled open the door, and then grinned when he saw me. "Hey, Scully. what's up?" I noticed his eyes looking over my body, and I hope to God he doesn't think I'm very ugly or something like that. Actually I'm pretty sure he doesn't think I'm ugly at all judging by the gleam in his eyes. For a few seconds we just stood there staring into each other's eyes. Something was definitely going to happen tonight. "You want to come in?" Mulder asked. "Sure," I said, and he ushered me inside. As I walked over to the couch Mulder began to speak. "There's a song I just heard today," he said walking over to the CD player, as if to make conversation. "I know," I said, and then stopped short. No, no, no! That was not what I meant to say. But it was too late to turn back now, judging by Mulder's puzzled glance. "I saw you at Raven before." Mulder wrinkled his brow. "I didn't see you there." I looked around the room. Stalling? Damn right. Do I cover for my slip or be honest? I decided on honesty because that was the way this whole night was heading. "Act-actually I was under the counter ready to kill the cashier." Mulder gave me a very puzzled look. "It's a very long story." Mulder looked at me, and then something changed in his eyes. "That song has some interesting words in it," he said, walking closer to me. I began to walk to him. "Definitely," I said softly. We met in the center of his living room, inches away from each other. "It's got some relevant points in it, don't you think?" I whispered. Mulder nodded. "Yeah." After that no more words were spoken because he bent down slightly and his lips brushed mine. Let me just say WOW. It was a soft gentle kiss, the only things really moving were Mulder's hands on my waist and mine on his upper arms. Well, to put it simply it was incredible. And there was no bee this time. Of course after that it got a little out of hand, but that was something we both expected. And just let it be noted that Mulder does not get seasick on a waterbed. Later that night I snuggled close to Mulder, his hand curled around my back. "This is nice," I said, drifting off to sleep. "It is," Mulder agreed. A second later he spoke up again. "And when did you get your belly button pierced?" I laughed and buried my head in his neck. "A while ago. I don't think I was thinking that day." "Well I love it," Mulder said, kissing my temple. "I think I'm going to enjoy getting to know this part of you better." I looked up at him. "You realize that applies to you too. There are so many little things I don't know about you, things I want to know." "Tomorrow," Mulder said. "Hmm?" "Tomorrow's Sunday. We'll have all day just to sit around and talk and other things," Mulder said with a gleam in his eyes. I let out a low laugh and closed my eyes. "Tomorrow. Love you," I whispered as I fell asleep, but not before I heard Mulder whisper "Love you too," back. The end! Hope you enjoyed it. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX The song Nobody but me belongs to Save Ferris. Celebrity Skin belongs to Hole. And if anyone tells me that's not a CD Mulder would buy remember, he's a man in love. They do crazy things.